What makes it hard for you to forgive?
Forgiveness isn't easy for any of us. But, what makes it so difficult for you? Are there particular instances that are easier than others? Just would like some feedback from you folks.
I am a very forgiving person to everyone, BUT if i think that the apology
is not sincere I do have a problem with that. You can tell when someone is truly sorry and when they are just saying sorry to try and make you feel better towards them.
the fact that forgiving actually means giving them the permission to do it again to you, that, for me, is what makes it hard.
It has been hard for me to forgive my ex-husband for not standing up to his current wife and protecting my children when she physically and emotionally abused them. It was handled relatively quickly with the intervention of attornies and the courts, but if he had stood up to her and put her in her place, they would have a relationship with him today. They have no respect for him and merely tolerate her during the few hours a year that they meet and visit in a restaurant. It is sad. They suffered the loss of their father, though he was still alive. He and his wife have pretended it all never happened and act as if they are the best parents on the planet so full of love and pride in the wonderful young adults my children have become. It is a seed of bitterness that I struggle with and some day pray that I will let go and let God heal this in my heart. I know it is wrong, but I just want to see justice. I just want to hear him tell the children he was wrong and ask their forgiveness. Really, mine doesn't matter as it is automatically offered with theirs. As he will never man up to admit it, I need to let go of it anyway.
I forgive very easily in most cases I can forgive within an hour of the offence. It is sometimes hard to forget the incident and I am not sure that is totally possible but I have grown love for others that have personally attacked me even my job and still have grown a love for them.
How I do it is I pray for them. Even when I don't like them at all I continue to pray for blessings on them and somehow God gives me reason to like them and they almost always come around and we become friends. Love works every time!
Forgiving takes time. The less you feel for the person as time passes the less you care about whatever happens to them. Holding onto your mad takes a lot of energy. Just erase them from your life, in my world they no longer exist to me.
prek. Thanks for sharing and for your honesty. I am teaching on bitterness right now and you are right where i perceive most of us to be. I pray with you that you can come to let it go. It is not easy to do most of the time, but it is a choice we must make if we are ever to go farther with God and live free from the past. I know it hurts, but holding onto the pain only makes it hurt worse in the long run for us. I can truly feel your hurt coming through your post. I am praying for you even now. You know what you need to do. God bless you and be courageous in letting go.
lol I didn't get to answer in Bible study so I guess I am going to give it now because I tend to leave my feelings and thoughts to myself. What usually makes it hard to forgive for me is the expectations I put on people. I feel that if you love someone enough that you wouldn't put them through hurt and torment. I use to think that if you just shut yourself off from everyone you wouldn't get hurt any more. I am at a place now that I realize others' situations and that sometimes people that you love hurt you without realizing it and that forgiveness should be given to both the apologetic and unapologetic. To be honest with you I am just tired of being angry and taking things into my own hands. My high expectations of people gets/got in the way of me forgiving the ones I love and forgiving my friends. I find it hard to forgive myself for the situations I put myself in and putting high expectations on others, I guess because I hold myself to such a high standard that I forget that I am suppose to humble myself. God given strength and our willingness and want to forgive is key but that is my answer. I want to forgive therefore I will try.
I became a believer while I was in prison. Forgiveness was viewed as a weakness in there. I wanted..needed..to change my life for the better. I began to study my Bible and realized one of the ways for me to come closer to the Lord would be to forgive those who did me wrong, and be reconciled. It was difficult to forgive those who were involved in my pre-prison life who ultimately helped send me to prison.
But as I focused more on the Word, and what was expected of me as a Christian, I put it on prayer. My prayer was answered one night in a Bible study. A well versed Brother made the statement, "Just because your sins are forgiven doesn't mean trust has been restored."
I came to the conclusion that as a believer, for me to maintain my walk, I must forgive. But that doesnt mean I have to make myself vulnerable to a situation where I may need to forgive someone again.
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