clean christian jokes

1. 59

   atomswifeyposted 15 years ago

   Please lets be respectful and just have some laughs ok?
   
   I love this one! LOL
   (not my story but very funny!)
   
   The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker.
          
         I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience that followed!
          
         I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed!
          
         I found that LOTS of people love Jesus! Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love of GOD! GO! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!"
          
         What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!
          
         Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a "sunny beach"... I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. Then I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant, he said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.
          
         Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back.
          
         A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, I waved to all my sisters and brothers grinning, and drove on through the intersection.
          
         I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.

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2. 59

   atomswifeyposted 15 years ago

   There was this preacher who was "wired for sound" with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went.
   Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again.
   
   After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"
   LOL

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