I lost him somewhere between ages 5 and 10 when I realized he refused to keep his children safe!
I had doubts before this but the true end of my religious life was at age 7. I went home with a good friend of mine to play and in my bag I had a book that I had picked up that day at the school library, it was a book on science, a picture book mainly, educational sort of thing.
When we got to his house he went to get changed so I sat in the lounge room and began to flick through this book, and I got to the center page which was a double page image of the progression of man from ape to Homo sapiens sapiens, at this point my friends mother walked in, and saw the image, near screaming in rage she ripped it from me and burnt it in the fire place before my shocked eyes confused and scared I asked why and when it became clear the cause was her faith I realized that religion would never have anything to offer me, that I wanted to make up my own mind from a wide knowledge and not be told what to believe. Pretty much in that instant I lost God and any faith i might have had. So that is my two cents, great question btw.
I did not find or lose him. I believe in the one and only God, Jesus Christ. I was raised an orthodox protestant and every night, I heard beautiful stories, mostly parables. That provided me with a trusting heart, and I loved them, and they had led me on throughout my life, touching each and everything in it. I suppose, I may say, that I found him, when I was first told of his love. I have fallen in love with His majest, glory and might as he drove Legion into the pigs, this tells me to be fearless and undaunted and take risks effectively in life for He is beside me, I was taught of his love when He forgave the prostitute and stopped people from stoning her and I never feel insecure, I feel loved and wanted always. I admire the gentle, noble way how he bore the taunts of Roman soldiers as he was crucified and how he calmly reacted to Judas and Peter, it teaches me to be graceful and sociable always and as HE DIED, hung on the wretched tree, bleeding, bound, deserted without cringing and trying to repine his way out of that excruciating anguish, I am taught of pure love. I never found Him, He found me! If you are asking this because you feel deserted or upset or even doubtful, abandon yourself, lay your heart open to His love, to Him, He will find you and you will respect, admire and love him more than anything and be blessed and peaceful the rest of you life. May God bless and keep you!!!
In the couch cushions with all the other crap I don't need.
I don't think I could pinpoint a specific age or moment that it happened. It was more so a combination of things. For example, the childhood figures that many of us believe in, association with holidays, were debunked one at a time for me. It wasn't an immediate revelation, so I just followed that ladder of reality until it led to god. Similarly, I was developing an interest in astronomy and approaching the rebellious teen years. So, since my home town is heavily religious, it made sense to rebel against christianity. By the time I got to college, everything I already believed about god was just solidified with the study of literature and how religious texts were used more as tools than anything else in early civilization and how influential and powerful stories can be to our culture.
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