Self-forgiveness

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  1. Elena Erykah profile image56
    Elena Erykahposted 8 years ago

    In most of the situations we say "I forgive you" or "Please forgive me". But sometime, I believe, it is more difficult to say "I forgive myself" and truly forgive ourself without being hard with our selfs. Self-forgiveness is a process that also purifies one's soul. 

    My questions is: What does it take for one person to forgive his/her own mistakes? Will the time cure everything or we look for a way of sincere self-forgiveness?

    1. Brian Leighton profile image62
      Brian Leightonposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      By taking responsibility for your own actions, then you are in a way mitigating the need to forgive yourself. Self-forgiveness is another form of self pity and by assuming responsibility for our actions, we are learning from our mistakes and promising ourselves not to let them repeat.

      Life is too short... Carpe Diem

      1. Cagsil profile image82
        Cagsilposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        Life was NEVER meant to be short!

        1. Brian Leighton profile image62
          Brian Leightonposted 8 years agoin reply to this

          I agree, but if you wallow in self pity looking for answers that will allow self forgiveness, then life will pass you by. The world does not stop because you do!

    2. Cagsil profile image82
      Cagsilposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      The answers you seek are inside oneself. The reality of life is that we access the intentions of others, so as to gain understanding for why THEY do what they do, but most of the time, many people could careless whether they hurt someone else or not, through their actions.

      What most people don't realize is - each person has an individual consciousness and conscience. Therefore, you control your thoughts, actions, emotions(in most cases) and the impact each has on other people- however, with that said- many people don't think about what they are going to do, until they do it.

      With this specific cloudiness in oneself, life becomes more reactionary than anything else. You might find yourself jumping conversation, because you think you know what's being said, then it hurts someone else.

      Will they forgive you? Is not for you to worry about. How THEY get over your actions is their problem.

      Will YOU forgive yourself? That depends on the situation, what happened, did someone physically get hurt, was the assault only verbal, why it happened, how it came to happen- but, regardless of what, who, how, when or why- if your thought, action and intention came from honesty or truth- then YOU HAVE NO Problem forgiving yourself.

      You don't need to LOVE yourself, to forgive yourself. You must understand - Why you feel the need to forgive yourself?

      I'm not a perfectionist, like some people, but I do live my life as I want, without regret, remorse or worry, about my thoughts or actions. Because, everything I now do in life is with one purpose- convey knowledge and understanding of life, from my own unique perspective, which was built on facts of our objective reality. I don't try to be perfect in everything I do, I just make sure that my actions and intentions are honest.

      As long as you are honest with yourself, about your thoughts, actions and intentions, as well, as with other people and your dealings, with them then you will never a need to forgive yourself.

  2. tantrum profile image60
    tantrumposted 8 years ago

    If you truly love yourself, you always forgive yourself

  3. profile image0
    poetlorraineposted 8 years ago

    good point, sometimes we don't realise we are not forgiving ourselves til someone points it out do you agree.,

  4. Black Lilly profile image61
    Black Lillyposted 8 years ago

    I'm a perfectionist, and that means I don't forgive myself for even slightest mistakes.

    On the other hand, I know I'm a perfectionist, and I do not blame myself for that - I guess this counts as forgiving yourself?

  5. tantrum profile image60
    tantrumposted 8 years ago

    I'm always forgiving myself, because I love myself too much,
    .Loving myself that much, makes me able to love someone  as much, and to reject people that will harm me without any problem.
    I take good care of myself.

  6. profile image0
    Poppa Bluesposted 8 years ago

    Well for one thing it takes great effort! We have to resolve the issues in our own mind and figure out what we actually had control over and what we didn't. We often blame ourselves for the actions of others, but we have to come to know, that in spite of what we did or didn't do, the action taken was ultimately theirs and so forgive ourselves.

    Sometimes we just have to accept that we did wrong and we must admit that we're human and in spite of our best efforts we occasionally do the wrong thing.

    As difficult as it is, it is sometimes useful to picture your guilt as a helium balloon and imagine yourself releasing it, watching it grow smaller as it climbs ever higher, ever further away from you until it's out of sight. We can't change the past, we can only change the now and move forward.

  7. tantrum profile image60
    tantrumposted 8 years ago

    The past is what makes us be in the present. I would never change it .

  8. Lady_E profile image65
    Lady_Eposted 8 years ago

    Looking deeper - Why wouldn't you forgive yourself?

    Don't you think you deserve it?

    (The questions are for you to answer within you).

    Don't be hard on yourself.

  9. SandyMcCollum profile image77
    SandyMcCollumposted 8 years ago

    I try to realize why I've done such an unforgivable thing and deal with it that way. I forgive me, but I don't forget.

  10. Paradise7 profile image83
    Paradise7posted 8 years ago

    Sandy had a good answer.  Forgive yourself, but LEARN.  Don't do it again.

  11. Paradise7 profile image83
    Paradise7posted 8 years ago

    Oh...one other thing:  if it's possible to make amends, do it.  You'll feel better, and so will whomever was affected by your action.

  12. profile image60
    C.J. Wrightposted 8 years ago

    It is all about being honest with yourself. After all lieing to oneself is the easiest person to lie to. The best liars have convinced themselves first! So, in order to truely forgive yourself you must first honestly understand who you are.

  13. profile image50
    Gracious Octoberposted 8 years ago

    I think this is a very important question because many struggle with this task. I believe being able to forgive yourself comes with the love you have for yourself, because when you love yourself as you love others you understand that there is room for you to occasionally get distracted from your origional path and as long as you make an honest attempt to get back on track you are on track. Its easy to fall in front of a crowd but its those who get back up and walk on despite the ridicule that accrue the strength they need not to suffer. If this is personal i hope you believe that there is One who is greater than all man that is able to forgive you should you ask. Blessings.

 
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