The best way to get out aggression is through laughter.
Post your jokes here.
No getting offended. Remember they are jokes. Don't take it personal..Its not always about YOU!
The best way of being aggressive is to make fun of rational people who do not believe what you believe? I thought the best way of getting aggression out was to attack people and accuse them of something they would never do and then refuse to apologize.....
So - why do you feel so aggressive towards atheists? Does it really bother you that we do not believe in your rubbish so much?
I have loads of jokes poking fun at your ridiculous beliefs. Do you have any funny atheist jokes or do they all rely on there really being a god after all?
Which is pretty funny if you think about it.
Belief does not make genies exist
An atheist buys an ancient lamp at an auction, takes it home, and begins to polish it. Suddenly, a genie appears, and says, “I’ll grant you three wishes, Master.” The atheist says, “I wish I could believe in you.”
The genie snaps his fingers, and suddenly the atheist believes in him. The atheist says, “Wow. I wish all atheists would believe this.” The genie snaps his fingers again, and suddenly atheists all over the world begin to believe in genies. “What about your third wish?” asks the genie. “Well,” says the atheist, “I wish for a billion dollars.” The genie snaps his fingers for a third time, but nothing happens. “What’s wrong?” asks the atheist. The genie shrugs and says, “Just because you believe in me, doesn’t necessarily mean that I really exist.”
The christian lady next door to the atheist
There was a Christian lady who lived next door to an atheist. Every day, when the lady prayed, the atheist guy could hear her. He thought to himself, "She sure is crazy, praying all the time like that. Doesn't she know there isn't a God?"
Many times while she was praying, he would go to her house and harass her, saying "Lady, why do you pray all the time? Don't you know there is no God?" But she kept on praying.
One day, she ran out of groceries. As usual, she was praying to the Lord explaining her situation and thanking Him for what He was gonna do. As usual, the atheist heard her praying and thought to himself, "Humph! I'll fix her."
He went to the grocery store, bought a whole bunch of groceries, took them to her house, dropped them off on the front porch, rang the door bell and then hid in the bushes to see what she would do. When she opened the door and saw the groceries, she began to praise the Lord with all her heart, jumping, singing and shouting everywhere! The atheist then jumped out of the bushes and told her, "You ol' crazy lady, God didn't buy you those groceries, I bought those groceries!"
At hearing this, she broke out and started running down the street, shouting and praising the Lord.
When he finally caught her, he asked what her problem was. She said, "I knew the Lord would provide me with some groceries, but I didn't know he was gonna make the devil pay for them!"
Atheists and light bulb
How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won’t claim that god did it.
Joke by Emo Phillips comedian out of the "Best 75 Jokes Ever"
I was walking across a bridge one day and I saw a man standing on a ledge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!"
"Why shouldn't I?" he said.
"Well, there's so much to live for." "Like what?" "Well, are you religious?" He said yes. I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?" "Christian." "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"
"Protestant." "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"
"Baptist." "Wow, me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God." "Me too. Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1789 or Reformed Baptist Church of God, 1915?"
He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915."
I said, "Die, heretic scum!!" And pushed him off the bridge.
Sh-t happens In Every Religion
If sh-t happens, it's not really sh-t.
If sh-t happens, it's the will of Allah.
Sh-t happens because you don't work hard enough.
Why does this sh-t always happen to us?
This sh-t happened before.
Sh-t happens because you're bad.
Sh-t happens rama rama.
Send more sh-t.
Knock knock, sh-t happens.
There's nothing like a good sh-t happening.
Sh-t happens in your mind.
Maybe sh-t happens, maybe it doesn't.
Let's smoke this sh-t.
What is sh-t anyway?
This sh-t doesn't bother me.
I like the one from Emo Philips:
When I was a little boy, I prayed for a bicycle. Then I realised that religion didn't work like that so I went out and stole one and prayed for forgiveness.
Never give out your real name and address, Deborah. One of the many benefits of religion is it gives crazy people a home. Poking the homes of crazy people upsets them mightily. It also upsets the un-crazy people who happen to be religious. We all rely on those un-crazy people a lot more than seem to you realize.
by Peeples 9 years ago
Why can't atheist and Christians agree to disagree?Will atheist and Christians ever just agree to disagree?
by des donnelly 14 years ago
I read the intro and all that and have lived through a religious war and lost god along the way I would never wish to see any hate type posts here... BUT sometimes people take religion too seriously. I came across this joke which I thought would only offend a few.... *grins*===I was walking...
by M. T. Dremer 7 years ago
Theists/Atheists: Can you compliment the opposite belief system?If you're a theist, what's something positive you could say about atheists? If you're an atheist, what's something positive you could say about theists? Please no sarcastic or passive-aggressive responses.
by mktol1984 13 years ago
"Question with boldness even the existence of a god." - Thomas Jefferson (letter to Peter Carr, 10 August 1787) “No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: He is always convinced that it says what he means” George Bernard Shaw quotes (Irish literary...
by SirDent 11 years ago
Please keep 'em clean.The story is told of the Atheist who accosted a preacher. "Do you believe in eternal life?" The preacher has no time to reply. "Well its a load of rubbish!" shouted the Atheist. "I believe in science, evolution, survival of the fittest, and when we...
by Brittany Williams 2 years ago
Atheism only means the lack of a belief in God. Why is it so hard for Christians to realize that we dismiss their religion for the same reasons that they dismiss all other religions? It doesn't make us horrible people, immoral, or mean that we are going to hell. It just means that we think the...
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