children christianity

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   mother n sonposted 13 years ago

   how do you teach your child to the value of a family when you are a single mother

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      kessposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Life will teach you and your child many good things.
      
      However just is you, they themselves will love lies, despite of these truth taught because it suits the direction they desire to go.
      
      What I know will work is that you yourself seek to live without hypocrisy and by you doing so you will find many things to teach them from your experience.

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      (Q)posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Depends, if you attempt to instill religious values, you will fail miserably as you will be looked upon as a sinner and an evil person.
      
      If you try to explain that people do their very best at forming families, but make mistakes in their decisions because we are all human beings, you'll look like an honest person trying.

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         Valerie Fposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         That's awfully judgmental of you, too.

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            SirDentposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Didn't you know that atheists are allowed to judge?

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            (Q)posted 13 years agoin reply to this

            It's simple logic, Valerie.

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   3. 63

      alexandriaruthkposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      You can teach them the lessons you have learned and the value of it, as no matter what happens family, happy, is the way to grow up with

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      cosetteposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      children can have lots of cousins, brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles and grandmas and grandpas...

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   5. 60

      h.a.borcichposted 13 years agoin reply to this

        During most of my son's childhood I was a single parent. It was not easy, but transferring your values can be done by living it. Holly

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   6. 0

      SirDentposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I remember going to a church service one night and seeing many different families there. Like there were three sisters and their families at the service along with their mother and father. I started feeling a little down over it because none of my brothers or sisters were there and neither was my wife. I felt like I was alone with no family.
      
      The Lord spoke to me that night and this is what he showed me. Each and every person there was a part of my family. My brothers and sisters, moms and dads were all there. Take your son to church and let him be taught the ways of the Lord.

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      1. 59

         Ron Montgomeryposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Literally spoke?  Or maybe you felt his guidance as you had the epiphany.  Is this process more likely to occur in a church as opposed to other places?

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         1. 57

            prettydarkhorseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            A family that prays together stays together except for the father who stays with another, just kidding,.
            
            socialization and tradition, moral values sharing as young as they are are good, and you can find it in church too

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            1. 59

               Ron Montgomeryposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               but church only?  or even predominantly?

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                  SirDentposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  I may be wrong, but it seems you have a problem with going to church. Of course I know many have this problem. I also know that many do not have a problem with going to a baseball game, football game etc. . .

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                  1. 59

                     Ron Montgomeryposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                     No, my inquiry is serious.  I have never been spoken to by God, and I am trying to get an idea of it from your experience.  I do occasionally attend church, but have not had an experience like yours.

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                     1. 0

                        SirDentposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                        Are you a believer in Jesus?

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                        1. 59

                           Ron Montgomeryposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                           Not in the biblical sense.  I believe such a man existed historically, but I do not believe he was God's only son nor do I believe in his resurrection.

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                           1. 64

                              AdsenseStrategiesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                              I'd say he is a pretty freakin' good role model, either way. If more people were like him (generally speaking), we'd all be a lot better off. Not sure why this ideal held up by the Gospel writers has to be lost in a fog of theology and worrying about the afterlife... talk about a huge wasted opportunity (the same goes for Islam)

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                           2. 0

                              SirDentposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                              Many believe Jesus to have been a great teacher. They can read the Words he spoke, and see that this is true. But he is so much moire than that. if they read all of His Words, then say he is only a great teacher, then they must also believe Him to be a liar.

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                              1. 64

                                 AdsenseStrategiesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                                 Well, most sources of info are coloured by their author (look at the Internet), so the "lies" could just be the authors' bias

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                           3. 61

                              Davidsonofjesieposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                              just remember that all who call on the name of the lord will be saved.

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                              1. 84

                                 earnestshubposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                                 And the millions of children can go die of hunger while your god looks after you! How wonderful and important you must feel by comparison to them!

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            2. 54

               (Q)posted 13 years agoin reply to this

               Why then, is the divorce highest with Christians?

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                  SirDentposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  I wasn't aware that divorce rates were higher with christians. Last time I checked it was about the same for believers and non-believers.

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                     (Q)posted 13 years agoin reply to this

                     Nope, check again.

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                     AdsenseStrategiesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                     The point still stands

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         2. 0

            SirDentposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            I was where I was when the feeling of being alone came upon me. It could have come at any time anywhere, but it didn't.

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            1. 59

               Ron Montgomeryposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               But what was the "speaking" like?  Totally internal? did it actually have an audible sound?

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                  SirDentposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  It was audible though it was for me only.

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      2. 54

         (Q)posted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Bad advice, teach children about a number of religions, not just the one you believe.

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            SirDentposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Teach them the truth. Why teach them a bunch of lies?

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            1. 54

               (Q)posted 13 years agoin reply to this

               One would have to be completely biased and ignorant to not learn about other religions, don't you think?

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                  SirDentposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  Buy the truth and do not sell it. Why waste time on lies?

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                  1. 54

                     (Q)posted 13 years agoin reply to this

                     It is your personal belief it is the truth and it is most likely you probably never read any other scriptures, so you are probably not one to intelligently comment on the comparisons.
                     
                     In other words, you would be biased and ignorant.

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                     1. 0

                        SirDentposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                        You are allowed to believe whatever you want. No one is trying to force you to believe in Jesus.
                        
                        I wonder if you have read every book that claims ro be from God? I am sure you haven't. So many seem to miss the fact that God is spirit. No man can understand God. He is beyond our comprehension. This is why he revealed Himself to us.
                        
                        I am sure you can agree to this one statement I am about to make. Whatever a man's word is, is what the man is. For example, if a man lies all the time, then he is a liar.
                        
                        God is the same. His Word is who He is. Out of all the books written claiming to be of God, how many say that men need a Savior? I also ask, who is the most debated person in modern history?

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                           (Q)posted 13 years agoin reply to this

                           But, you would be forcing children to believe in your beliefs because you refuse to teach other religions. That's was called 'bias' and 'indoctrination'
                           
                           
                           
                           SirDent, I have read a great deal and it is excruciatingly obvious from reading your posts you've read very little.
                           
                           
                           
                           You contradict yourself. If god is beyond your comprehension, how can you sit there and tell me what god is thinking or what he'll do next?
                           
                           
                           
                           Ok.
                           
                           
                           
                           You assume the bible is the word of your god, but that is exactly the same claim every other religion states, yours is no different. But, since it's highly unlikely you've read any other scriptures, you wouldn't know that.
                           
                           
                           
                           Those are fallacies, appeals to authority and popularity.

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                           1. 0

                              SirDentposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                              By the same measure, you do the same thing. But by the measure of God, I teach my son what is right and true no mater what anyone else thinks or believes.
                              
                              
                              
                              When a person finds the truth, why do they need to keep searching? if you lost your keys would you keep looking for them after you found them?
                              
                              
                              
                              
                              That is merely your opinion and m eans nothing really. No one can know God but what he reveals to me, I can then know.
                              
                              
                              
                              
                              I can know without a doubt that the Bible is the Word of God. it doesn't matter what else I have read, once the truth is known, why bother with anything else?
                              
                              As far as it being the popular choice, it seems atheism is the popular choice anymore. of course atheists can't possibly be brainwashed or indoctinated. No, they are much too inteeligent for that. Of course no one can make them believe a lie either.

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                              1. 54

                                 (Q)posted 13 years agoin reply to this

                                 I'm afraid you're wrong there. I have never taught children to believe in a god nor have taught them to believe that a particular set of scriptures was the truth and all others are lies. That's not really teaching, is it?
                                 
                                 
                                 
                                 What truth do you see in the invisible and undetectable? How do the words of men who lived centuries ago in a time when myths and superstitions ruled the world uphold "the" truth when they also believed thunder and lightning were angry gods? How do the magic and supernatural claims of events that clearly defy all logic and reason stand as a measure for "the" truth?
                                 
                                 
                                 
                                 
                                 You evaded the question and still contradict yourself.
                                 
                                 
                                 
                                 
                                 Actually, no you can't. That's merely your belief simply because the bible says so. Aesop Fables claim that animals can talk. It's just a book, too.
                                 
                                 
                                 
                                 So, read one single book, believe in it and learn nothing from then on.
                                 
                                 I don't even see a point in living then, really.
                                 
                                 
                                 
                                 Well, you see, there is quite a difference between thinking and believing. One can't really make you believe something unless you think about if first, yes? And, it then depends on whether or not one knows how to think. Or, do they just believe without thinking?
                                 
                                 You tell me.

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                                 1. 60

                                    qwarkposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                                    Q:
                                    EXCELLENT!

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                                 2. 0

                                    SirDentposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                                    Do your actions speak louder than your words? Actions teach.
                                    
                                    
                                    
                                    
                                    
                                    He is not undetectable. You just nee to use the right instruments to detect Him. Thunder and lightning have nothing to do with this discussion. Those were thought up after the fact of creation.
                                    
                                    
                                    
                                    
                                    
                                    
                                    Merely your opinion. You are not reading what I wrote.
                                    
                                    
                                    
                                    
                                    
                                    
                                    But I can.
                                    
                                    
                                    
                                    
                                    
                                    God is more than a book. The point in living is being free. Are you free? I would venture to say you are not. You are here in these forums daily posting trying to change people' minds and get them to your way of doing things.
                                    
                                    
                                    
                                    
                                    
                                    Atheists claim there is no God or there is no evidence of God. There is plenty of evidence of God, but no matter what evidence one can show, it is for naught if the one being shown doesn't want to see it.
                                    
                                    It seems we have gone right back to the same place we were on another thread. Is there any point in continuing?

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                                    1. 54

                                       (Q)posted 13 years agoin reply to this

                                       Teaching is offering up ALL the information available and using critical thinking skills to distinguish what affects us and what doesn't.
                                       
                                       Indoctrination is when you offer up ONLY a certain portion of that information and then make claims that it is the ultimate truth to be accepted, uncritically.
                                       
                                       I use the former method while you appear to use the latter.
                                       
                                       That's action, my friend.
                                       
                                       
                                       
                                       So, the fact that scientists are clearly lacking these instruments and you appear to be well aware of them, perhaps you can help detect your god and there will be a Nobel prize waiting for you.
                                       
                                       Seriously SirDent, responses such as that are wasting everyone's time. Get real.
                                       
                                        
                                       
                                       The point is that the people you imagine to be "inspired by god" are the same people who believed gods were angry when thunder and lightning appeared.
                                       
                                       How could anyone possibly take them seriously? They were not learned men by any stretch of the imagination.
                                       
                                       
                                       
                                       
                                       Then, you are not expressing yourself well. I can read and synthesize.
                                       
                                       
                                       
                                       
                                       Saying you can and doing it are two different things, aren't they?
                                       
                                       So, you have the floor, demonstrate away...
                                       
                                       
                                       
                                       I'm free from the slavery of religion, that much is evident.
                                       
                                       
                                       
                                       
                                       That's not true. Not once have I EVER told anyone to change their minds to my way of thinking.
                                       
                                       My hope here is to attempt to have people like you start thinking. Period.
                                       
                                       
                                       
                                       One has to actually see evidence, first. Of course, many who just believe in things don't really have an understanding of what evidence is all about. And of course, if you want to show evidence for a god, you need to really show evidence for a god, and that usually means god needs to show himself to us.
                                       
                                       And, that's the bottom line, isn't it. No amount of medieval myth and superstition is ever going to accomplish that.
                                       
                                       
                                       
                                       That's entirely up to you whether or not you wish to pursue attempting to demonstrate your god. I won't sit here claiming your god doesn't exist, but will most certainly scrutinize your claims to his existence. I'm open to what you have to say about it. Demonstrate your god actually exists, if you can.
                                       
                                       Of course, to do so, you have to leave the bible out of the equation, as that does not demonstrate his existence since there are many books and scriptures written with similar agendas from other religions purporting exactly the same thing.

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   7. 64

      AdsenseStrategiesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I had a single mother till I was seven. Until that age I was surrounded by grandparents, cousins, uncles and aunts, so was very "into" my family. None of these people were divorced, and all showed excellent examples of close, functioning families in their own lives. When my mother got married, that all went away (due to moving away). So every situation is different.

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   8. 60

      moanalisaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Excellent question. Just BE a family! Do what families do, I'm a single mom, too.

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   9. 61

      Davidsonofjesieposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      just be a light on the hill,and all who see it will know

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2. 81

   kirstenblogposted 13 years ago

   Family are not just the people we are related to by blood. I had a very unstable childhood myself and the people I came to value were not blood relations but were darned good people. Do not be afraid to let 'outsiders' help, some belief systems would say they are family too. Alternative methods to teach the same lesson.

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3. 81

   Sa Toyaposted 13 years ago

   I'm not sure myself as I'm not a mother nor am I in a single parent family. My father is present he lives with us but other than that he's not involved in any of our lives so is like an absentee father 
   
   
   I'm surprised you put this in the religion section and not home & family. Concerning values and religion and family-My mother and grandparents taught us how to pray when we were little and read us Bible Stories, took us to church. I'm not a church goer any more because I have issues with religion BUT I'm a believer in God and always will be.
   
   However teaching values to children doesn't mean parents must believe in God. Values are standards-right and wrong, morals
   
   There are alot of atheists out there that are good parents and have instilled great values in their children so too believers.
   
   There are parents who believe in whatever god that do not instil good values in their children and/or are so fanatic in their belief deprive their children.
   
   There is good and bad in parenting irrespective of beliefs.
   
   I would say do your best as I'm sure you have been. Talk, teach AND listen.
   
   My granddad says a family that eats together stays together.
   It's important to have a meal everyday as a family- AWAY FROM THE TV.
   Also family night- do something just you and your child. Spend time with other relatives-grandparents.
   Spend time with people you call family as in not bloood
   
   Do not put too much pressure on yourself. Take care of you too

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4. 69

   aguasilverposted 13 years ago

   I was a single father when my wife left after I came to faith, and she left our child with me, so having no idea and being new to faith I read Dr Spock, who had not much to offer, other how to books were no better, then finally, (and it's always finally instead of first isn't it)I turned to the bible ans searched for what to do:
   
   Deuteronomy 6 - 4:
   
   “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one!"
   
   You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.
   
   And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.
   
   You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.
   
   You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
   
   --------------------
   
   My interpretation of this was to talk to my boy with God, and scripture in mind, whenever he asked a question, to explain the difference between how God sees things and how the world does, to examine his school books to see when the world was teaching him things that needed to be discussed.....and to just ensure that he got a balanced view between Gods Kingdom and the kingdom of the world (Satan's kingdom).
   
   If your child is a girl, you will not have too many problems, if its a boy, you need to find strong male friends/brothers in Christ to act as role models and guides for him, or he will lack the vital male influence that has caused so many problems in our society when men abandon families.
   
   I took the decision to NEVER allow any girlfriend to be seen in our house, so he never got the impression that women were interchangeable convenience items to be disposed of on a regular basis, I had a girlfriend, but we both knew we were not going to be permanent (as in married) so I simply kept her away from the boy, and although she was displeased, she accepted my judgement.
   
   I NEVER bad mouthed his mother, quite the opposite, I built her up and made her excuses as to why she had left him, took the full blame and made sure he never thought it was anything to do with him.
   
   When you do this is cuts off the other party from bad mouthing you or starting range wars over what was said, if your child's other parent bad mouths you, your child is going to realize that they are in the wrong, you gain from their weakness.
   
   Besides which, when the child gets older they may want a relationship with the other parent, and it's not fair to deny them unless the other parent is violent or in other ways a bad influence that could hurt the child.
   
   Most of all, pray and ask Christ to guide you in all you do, and remember He is always looking on at you and knows exactly where you are, and will step in to help when you let Him.

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      aguasilverposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      ....and by the way, my son grew up to be a fine lad who is now 20 years old and helping street kids in the Bronx!
      
      I remarried and we have another fine daughter of 8 years of age... with God all things are possible.

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      1. 54

         (Q)posted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Yes, even sinning is possible. Isn't it a sin to divorce?
         
         "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." —Matthew 19:6
         
         "For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away..." —Malachi 2:16
         
         In Matthew 5:32, Jesus said, "But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery."

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         1. 69

            aguasilverposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Hi Q,
            
            Having a life as well I am late to answer my favourite sock puppet.
            
            My first wife left me, and made it perfectly clear that she had no intention of ever returning, plus started living with another man. She is now remarried and we are friends.
            
            In the circumstances divorce is possible. I am now remarried to a another believer and as such we would never get divorced, however unbelievers who leave and live with someone else and are still unrepentant four years later, and who divorced me in any case, do not cause a problem.
            
            Take your smug little sneers back to sock puppet land, maybe if you ever write a hub I may listen to you, but after two years is that likely?

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            1. 54

               (Q)posted 13 years agoin reply to this

               Do you have any evidence whatsoever that I'm a sock puppet or is that just another unfounded belief on your part?
               
               
               
               I suppose that makes you both sinners and are both going to hell?
               
               
               
               I must be having a tremendous effect on your beliefs. hehe

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               1. 69

                  aguasilverposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  "I must be having a tremendous effect on your beliefs. hehe"
                  
                  Non whatsoever Q, for you do not exist, so how can you affect  my anything.
                  
                  Anyhow sock away for as long as you can get away with it, I personally will just ignore you, 'cos I don't feed trolls either.

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                  1. 54

                     (Q)posted 13 years agoin reply to this

                     Then, you must be talking to yourself.
                     
                     
                     
                     How can you ignore something you believe not to exist? Can you explain that?

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5. 57

   mother n sonposted 13 years ago

   thank you very for the advices

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6. 0

   SirDentposted 13 years ago

   I have a few errands to run and will be back later.

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7. 60

   qwarkposted 13 years ago

   Sir Dent:
   
   Oh, a little education would enlighten so many!
   Jesus never wrote or spoke a word of what is written in the new testament!
   Yet those who who claim to be christian, seem to think, little and follow blindly.
   They say jesus said, when they know nothing about what jesus said. NO ONE DOES!
   They sit in bible school or church and absorb all the lies spewed by those who are as ignorant about the history and evolution of their beliefs as they are.
   That speaks volumes to me about how easily led and how ignorant "followers" are.
   You are Scary!

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   AdsenseStrategiesposted 13 years ago

   I'm not trying to mix things up here, Sir Dent, but is it not possible that Jesus was God incarnate, that he came to earth, died on the cross for the world's sins, and was resurrected, but that ALSO a lot of the Old Testament is not worth the papyrus it was written on. Surely you are not, in theory, saved by a belief in stories like this......

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      SirDentposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I am saved by grace through faith. It is from God and Him alone. Do we throw out what seems to be bad and only try to keep the good?

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         AdsenseStrategiesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Definitely. That's exactly what we do. Isn't that the way to live life.

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      SirDentposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I have a question for you. This is hypothetical. Suppose you traced your geneology back through time and found that one of your ancestors was a mass murderer or serial killer. Does the fact the he/she was such an evil person make that person out to be not one of your ancestors?
      
      The Bible is true and always will be true. Some parts are hard to swallow, but they are there for believers to swallow. I will also say, it is not as bad as you think it is. Man was evil during the Old Testament times. God chose someone out of all the people on the earth to call His own. He didn't choose a big powerful nation. In fact, He chose a man who was a liar, a cheat, a con-man and a womanizer. God loves those who are rejected by society. In fact, He loves everyone. He doesn;t like to see His people picked on.

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         AdsenseStrategiesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I think the problem is that the OT God is such a bruiser, openly requiring genocidal tactics and ethnic cleansing, this is hard to square with say, The Psalms, where he is depicted as compassionate and merciful. It makes a whole lot more sense simply to say that the Torah was written by a tribal people with a different conception of their god (or something), and that other parts of the Bible make an awful lot more sense (after all, isn't my moral sense 'inscribed on my heart', so doesn't that allow me to 'discern' good from evil)

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            SirDentposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            If you found out you had a cancerous tumor, would you like to leave part of it in?
            
            When someone becomes so evil that nothing good ever comes to their mind, they need to be destroyed.

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