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A christian and his god

  1. profile image0
    china manposted 6 years ago

    A christian got himself lost in a storm on his way home from the pub. 

    In the dark and the driving rain and the howling wind he missed the road and fell off a cliff. About forty feet down with another 200 feet to go onto jagged rocks he managed to grab a thin tree root and hang on. 

    He started to scream out help! help! Then out of the storm a  great booming voice rose above the noise of the wind and the rain saying "let go  my son and trust in me", after a moment of silence the voice boomed out even louder "let go my son and trust in me!" 

    The guy shouted "is anybody else up there!"

    1. Woman Of Courage profile image61
      Woman Of Courageposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      From the pub? hmm

      1. profile image0
        china manposted 6 years agoin reply to this

        You think christians don't go to the pub !! ??

        1. profile image0
          Home Girlposted 6 years agoin reply to this

          No, they drink at home in God's company only.

          1. Cagsil profile image61
            Cagsilposted 6 years agoin reply to this

            Not really. I know a lot of Christians who drink in bars/pubs. lol

            1. Stump Parrish profile image60
              Stump Parrishposted 6 years agoin reply to this

              They wear diguises here in the south to visit bars. They all dress up as raving hypocrits and you cant tell them from the regular christians.

          2. Stump Parrish profile image60
            Stump Parrishposted 6 years agoin reply to this

            I tried that but she hogs the bottle.

    2. Cagsil profile image61
      Cagsilposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      lol lol

    3. getitrite profile image79
      getitriteposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      The Christian should have just let go, because it was a win win situation.  If he let go, God might have caught him.  If God didn't catch him, and he splattered, he would end up going to heaven anyway.

      1. Stump Parrish profile image60
        Stump Parrishposted 6 years agoin reply to this

        I don't know get, it couldn't turn out well showing up in heaven with a hangover. I doubt that yelling at St Peter to take it just a little easy on the trumpet blowing would get you a house in the good neighborhood.

        1. getitrite profile image79
          getitriteposted 6 years agoin reply to this

          lol lol lol

    4. Onusonus profile image80
      Onusonusposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whoever is deceived thereby is not wise. Proverbs 20:1

      1. Stump Parrish profile image60
        Stump Parrishposted 6 years agoin reply to this

        Do not pee into a strong wind, old polish Proverb #27

    5. pennyofheaven profile image78
      pennyofheavenposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Haha thats funny!

  2. Stump Parrish profile image60
    Stump Parrishposted 6 years ago

    Always looking for a good joke to share, thx. Here's a couple for you.

    PRICELESS

    A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear,"PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." Somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "THUMBTACKS" and in a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom.
    "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"

    Stupid Moments in History

    The professor asked Barbara, a blonde in her fourth year as a Southern Wesleyan University freshman, if she knew what Roe v. Wade was about.

    Barbara pondered the question, then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."

    1. Cagsil profile image61
      Cagsilposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      lol lol lol

    2. pennyofheaven profile image78
      pennyofheavenposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Too too funny!

  3. profile image0
    just_curiousposted 6 years ago

    OK. It d was definitely time for a joke about believers. I hope some one starts a forum with a funny one. I like to laugh.

    1. Stump Parrish profile image60
      Stump Parrishposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      I've got one about jesus and moses on a fishin trip but I will suffer the wrath of the "how dare you make fun of my jesus you heathen" crowd  if I post it.

      1. profile image0
        just_curiousposted 6 years agoin reply to this

        Aw common. Post it. You can't please everybody.

        1. Stump Parrish profile image60
          Stump Parrishposted 6 years agoin reply to this

          Walking on Water

          It's the second resurection of Christ. Before the world ends he wants
          to take in some fishing. So he gets his friend Moses and they head up
          to Minnesota to fish. They are about to rent a canoe when Moses says:
          "Jesus, can't you still walk on water? Why not just walk out there?"
          So Jesus takes his reel and tackle and steps onto the lake....and falls
          knee deep in water.

          Moses says, "Well....maybe you need a head start or something, why not
          go to the end of the dock and try."

          So Jesus takes his reel and tackle and steps off the end of the dock and
          falls up to his waist.

          Moses says, " Well why not rent the boat, go out to the center of the
          lake and try there."

          So they rent the boat and go to the middle of the lake, Jesus is about
          to step off and try again when...

          Moses says, "Wait. Just to be safe, why not get yourself into the state
          of mind you were in the first time you did it."

          So Jesus sets down, meditates for a few minutes, and finally he's all
          psyched up, and steps out of the canoe.... ..and precedes to drown.
          So Moses does the water parting thing, and pulls Jesus up into the boat.
          Jesus is just beating himself up over this. He just doesn't see what's
          going wrong here. Moses just stares down at the bottom of the boat.
          Suddenly, Moses says, "I got it! I know what's wrong! Did you have those
          holes in your feet last time?

          1. profile image0
            just_curiousposted 6 years agoin reply to this

            That was funny. Best one I've heard in a while.

            1. Stump Parrish profile image60
              Stump Parrishposted 6 years agoin reply to this

              There were these two nuns riding their bicycles through the backstreets of Rome when the sister following the other exclaimed "I've never come this way before!". The nun in front yelled back, "It's the cobblestones!".

              1. profile image0
                just_curiousposted 6 years agoin reply to this

                Ok, that was a little off color for my taste, but you're still a funny guy.

                1. Stump Parrish profile image60
                  Stump Parrishposted 6 years agoin reply to this

                  I tried to warn you, hehe, I like using these disclaimers, They're right handy. I'll behave now, I promise.

                  1. Cagsil profile image61
                    Cagsilposted 6 years agoin reply to this

                    You promise?


                    *wonders if Stump had his fingers crossed when he typed that in. lol

                  2. profile image0
                    just_curiousposted 6 years agoin reply to this

                    It's cool. it's all in fun. I can close my eyes and not read the off color ones. Keep'em coming.

          2. Cagsil profile image61
            Cagsilposted 6 years agoin reply to this

            lol lol

          3. pennyofheaven profile image78
            pennyofheavenposted 6 years agoin reply to this

            Awww this made me laugh big time!

  4. pisean282311 profile image60
    pisean282311posted 6 years ago

    moral of story : one needs another intoxication to come out of god syndrome...

    1. Stump Parrish profile image60
      Stump Parrishposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Make mine a double on the rocks

  5. profile image61
    paarsurreyposted 6 years ago

    A christian and his god

    A Christian should believe the same Creator-God whom Jesus used to believe and worship and it was the same whom Moses used to believe in and worship; Jesus used to address Him as per the usage of OT by the metaphoric name God-the-Father.

 
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