April 7, 2010 Union Groovin' To Saxapahaw, Carolina Tar-wheels Meet Miami Biking Gang and Buena Vista Social Club

Notorious "biker-dude", Jimmy Huffy, aka- Baby Face Bob, Butter Fingers Bob, Fleetwood Mac, Bookin' Bob, Bangin' Bob, Rice Cakes, and Rusty Bolt!

Willie "Saltpeter" Peters, aka- Slick Willie Peters, Narco Leptic, El Loco, Mango Mike, Rickety, Cranky, Wrinkles, Mad Dog Micky, Hem Royd, and Lef Testy.

Willie Saltpeter Peters has had a long and varied "rap sheet" since he was refused membership in the ZZ-Top rock and roll band. Finally his membership in the ZZ-Top fan club was revoked for listening to "Julio Iglesias". In all fairness to the ZZ-Top band- Saltpeter has no talent and his beard isn't long enough.

Slick Wheel Gearman, aka- Grampa Gearman, Gear Gluster, Two Tired, Hugh Jorgan, and Sprocketz.

The "bad boys" of the biking gang from Miami seem to be making a move on the small town of Hillsborough, NC. The Miami bikers are an affiliate gang of the notorious "Playtex Cycling Team"! Of course- they have no visible means of support! They research an area and when "they" start making a move on a town- the demise is inevitable.

Once these undesirables become implanted into a community, the results are disastrous. They wear casual clothes everywhere. They can control the entire markets on "depends, Viagra, Geritol, Ben Gay, Glucosamine Chondroitin, etc. Suddenly it's harder to get into a Cracker Barrel for a meal.

The Gang of bikers check out the court-house and contemplate their visit there if they don't keep a low profile.

Above- they seem to be driving in reverse and on the wrong side of the street. Either that or "Saltpeter" is pointing the camera over his shoulder.

It appears that the "Gang" has its eyes on the bank across the street! They put on the pretense of "dining out"! They try to "fit in" by wearing straw hats and Hawaiian shirts. Note that "Jimmy Huffy" is clearly "casing" the bank across the street. Slick Wheel Gearman is also "body guard" and "enforcer" for Jimmy!

Here they seem to be laughing at what a push-over the bank job will be.

All members of the Playtex cycling Federation have tattoos.

The official Miami Chain Gang Bike Club's tattoo is "CALL 911!"

Debauchery- The official drink of the "gang" is water. Tonight they take their water "straight" with a twist of lemon. "Slick Wheel" is reported to have let the air out a waiter's tire when the waiter brought "lime" instead of lemon! It's just a rumor. No witnesses!

There are some who think Willie Peters is responsible for the disappearance of all the toilet tissue from the porta-johns at one biking event.

He never has been wanted for anything! Really- nothing!

It appears-his criminal record has been "wiped clean".

Our best investigator was on this case posing as a waiter.

His name is Juan Swogger.

His "direct approach" usually surprises the "suspects" into confessions but not today.

"What are you gay looking guys doing here?", says Juan.

Jimmy Huffy says, "We're here to knock over a bank."

"Well- those are great outfits for doing that. No really, is there a dork convention in town?"

The "Miami Chain Gang" shelves the idea of committing any felonies today when Jimmy Huffy looks at his watch.

They have to disperse. It's almost 8 PM. They all have to brush their teeth, floss, etc. They will have to "fly" if they expect to be in bed by 9!

Cruising down Margaret Lane.

Bob, Cy, and I ride out to Union Grove and the start.

It was somewhere right around here that all picture taking stopped.

Bruce, Bob, and Michael T. put the hammer down.

The speed climbed to around 80 miles an hour maybe 90 miles an hour.

The pollen hurts when its flying into your eyes at 90 miles an hour!

The acceleration felt like if we were to go any faster we would get there before we left.

It was somewhere out here that I popped!

I hit that point of "not diminishing returns" but of boink, bonk, kapooey Louie!

After one of these "pops"- things are unlikely to change for the better quickly.

Below- are more hubs by Micky Dee and cycling around Hillsborough, Durham, Raleigh, Chapel Hill, Carrboro, Mebane, Saxapahaw, North Carolina.