ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Breaking The Wind In A Pace-Line

Updated on May 5, 2012

Breaking The Wind-If You Aren't The Lead Dog...

We ponder the road-racing greats of old.

We wonder how they came to be so bold.

It takes hard work and great preparation.

To win even once, is cause for great celebration.

A racer must be a strong and fast man.

He also must have a very good plan.

Does he shed his credo to complete this task?

“What cost is too much”, we all have to ask.

Do we try every trick, or commit any sin,

Just to chalk up another win?

We cycle through the countryside and town after town,

With the pace-line hardly making a sound.

Mile after mile not a word is spoken,

And all at once the silence is broken.

A smell permeates the entire countryside,

Disrupting an otherwise beautiful ride.

Who would dare to be so crass,

To intentionally pass this lethal gas?

Who would dare, to foul the air,

With smells that come from their derriere?

An odor capable of burning your nasal hair.

No one admits to this dastardly deed,

Of disregarding the cyclists’ creed.

This was sufficient to be the last verse,

But let me explain how this poem came to get worse.

I was in this great race in 2002.

I was working hard, the best I could do.

I’ll not forget his number, 123,

For as you will see, he blindsided me.

We were working together, I began to assume.

I was drafting behind him, when he lowered the “boom”.


He “let one go”, he cut the cheese.

It almost brought me to my knees.

I wondered if the pros used tactics such as these.

Taking someone’s air and making them wheeze.

Not a move to the left, not a move to the right.

He squeezed one off, and I lost my sight.

No “excuse me sir for I have sinned”

He just sped off, looked back, and grinned.

I choked, I slowed, I lost all heart.

My passion was robbed by an evil fart.

I was hit between the eyes

With a smell to despise.

He showed no taste, as I was hit in the face.

It was no longer important to continue the chase.

I wondered about the fuel that he had used

As I felt as though I had been abused.

I thought weird thoughts and became deranged,

If you weren’t the lead sled dog, things never changed.

So when one plots about what one can do

Just to stay in front of you,

Please believe this strongly, without a doubt,

There are quite a few tricks that should be left out.

There will be those that think I’m wrong

To even write this poem and then make it long.

So add some music and make this a song,

It’s all about a guy who went ppfffffffft and then he was gone!

.

~Micky Dee~

.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • funride profile image

      Ricardo Nunes 8 years ago from Portugal

      Hey Micky, this is the best poetry I ever read... at least with an interesting subject behind it :D

      It would make a great song. And with the right music it could be of much help in many spinning classes eheheh

      Thanks for finding me, it´s a pleasure to meet you :)

    • Micky Dee profile image
      Author

      Micky Dee 8 years ago

      Thank you Brynda. You should be writing about health issues and remedies and God.

    • profile image

      Brynda 8 years ago

      Have you found a "publisher" yet??

      I sometimes find reading current poetry a task and don't follow through to the end. But yours is amazing and entertaining! and TRUE, too!!

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)