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Top Google Search With Humor: When Will I Ovulate and Other Nonsense

Updated on November 25, 2012

I have neglected this series for far too long. It is about time we jump back into the fire and see what our fellow internet junkies have been searching for lately. They never disappoint me as they continually search for the bizarre and downright scary.

I remember clearly the first time I did one of these Google searches; one of the more shocking ones was “How Do I Make Chloroform?” I still shudder when I think that thousands out there want to know the answer to that question. Is there really that big a need for chloroform? Perhaps a better question to ask is how many degenerates does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you have a daughter that is of dating age, make sure you do a background check on anyone who wants to date her; he may be making chloroform at this very moment.

So let’s not delay any longer. Today’s search question is: When Will I…….? Let’s see what our next-door neighbors are doing with their spare time.

Exhausted after hours of internet searches.
Exhausted after hours of internet searches. | Source

WHEN WILL I START SHOWING?

Start showing what? I’m a guy! How am I supposed to know when you are going to start showing? I was twenty-five before I figured out what caused you to show in the first place. Imagine my surprise! Somehow Sister Mary Catherine failed to mention that in her discussion of family planning. Maybe she didn’t know; I mean, she WAS a nun! Come to think of it, why would a nun ever teach the birds and the bees? Don’t you think it’s a good idea to have someone with a little experience teach about sex? Sheez, no wonder I had to see a therapist for so many years.

WHEN WILL I OVULATE?

No, I’m not going there! You can beg me all you want but there is no way I’m answering this question. The powers of HubPages can breathe a sigh of relief cuz’ this boy ain’t touching this one. I don’t know when you will ovulate and I don’t care; just do it in the privacy of your own home, please! I suspect this has something to do with when you start showing but again, I have three words….Sister Mary Catherine!

If, however, you fail to ovulate, then you really need to have a talk with Tom, Dick or Harry…or all three!

WHEN WILL I GET MARRIED?

Well hopefully before you start showing! Otherwise, you are going to have some explaining to do at the next big family gathering, and Sister Mary Catherine won’t be there to bail your ass out of that mess!

Oh, you want a serious answer? You will get married when you stop watching reality tv and get a date! Of course, you can do what so many in the United States do nowadays, and just date over the internet on sites like Match.com. Of course, beware of anyone who says they are a chemist, because they are probably brewing up a batch of chloroform as we speak.

WHEN WILL I SEE YOU AGAIN?

Well, if you are showing and he knew nothing about it, chances are you may not see him again. He has already changed his locks, changed his phone number, and changed his underwear!

If you are ovulating then my suggestion is you don’t even mention it to whomever it is you need to see. If it’s a guy you are just going to confuse him when you mention ovulation. Men have a tendency to break out in a cold sweat when you say words like that.

On the other hand, if you are a practical joker, then some day when you are in a crowded elevator, say in a loud voice, “I started ovulating today.” You will be surprised how quickly that elevator clears out.

WHEN WILL I BE LOVED?

Oh please! Not the “L” word! If you are finding your dates online then the answer is never! If you are finding your dates on a reality tv show you are participating on, the answer is never!

If, however, you are a chemist, and you are finding your dates on the CHOLOFORM FORUM, then there is a good chance you will find love very quickly. There are quite a few people on those forums who are looking for love in all the wrong places. As President Clinton used to say, “just make sure you don’t inhale.”

WHEN WILL I GET MY STIMULUS CHECK?

Do you know what bothers me most about this question? We don’t get these any longer, right? And yet there are people out there searching for a date when they will receive a check that does not exist! Maybe they could search for the address for Santa Claus while they are at it.

Wait, I have the answer! You will get your stimulus check when you actually go to work…it’s called a paycheck! However, there is one loophole that you might like to know about. If you are a United States Senator or Congressman, then you will be receiving your stimulus check from the fat cats who pay for your vote. Just call up the oil industry or someone from Chase Bank. They can’t actually write you a check but they can deliver cash to you in a brown paper bag.

WHEN WILL I DIE DEATH CLOCK?

This has to be an online game, right? Or some game for some gaming system? I’m hoping that’s the case because if there really is a death clock and it is about to toll for me, I’d kind of like to know about it.

What does this say about America? We have thousands of people so enraptured by a video game that they are looking for answers online. Why aren’t they outside enjoying the weather and nature? Why aren’t they out begging for a date like I did at their age? Why aren’t they learning about ovulation and pregnancy instead of when some imaginary death clock kills them? I truly have serious concerns about our country.

Spread Some Happiness

WHEN WILL I DIE?

I’m dying a slow death while writing answers to these stupid questions. I don’t know when you are going to die but I know you will wish you were dead when you stop ovulating, or when you find out that extra belly fat is actually Baby Karen rather than the remains of that German Chocolate cake you ate.

There are people out there who actually believe that the answer to this question is on Google. OMG! This frightens me on so many levels, not the least of which is that these people are part of our failing economic system. There is only one good thing about all of this: all of these people are shopping at Walmart, so we always know where they are.

UNTIL NEXT TIME

I seriously need a drink after writing this! Oh, wait, I can’t drink! Now what will I do? I think I’ll jump in the car and go search for the death clock. You don’t suppose it’s in Walmart, do you? Right next to the Ovulation Aisle?

I wonder if Amway sells chloroform? I think I’ll do a Google search and find out!

2012 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)

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    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Rebecca, thank you so much; I'm really glad you enjoyed my silliness.

    • rebeccamealey profile image

      Rebecca Mealey 4 years ago from Northeastern Georgia, USA

      Ha HA , these are hilarious! Thanks for the smile!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Peach, welcome to my humble home, and I'm glad you enjoyed my silliness. I would love to be on that elevator when you do it. :)

    • peachpower profile image

      peachpower 5 years ago from Florida

      This was easily one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life. I laughed until I cried. I must admit, I am definitely going to drop the 'ovulation bomb' on the next elevator ride I take. Thank you for making my day that much better!!!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Becky, thank you; that was a very nice thing to say and I'm very happy that you enjoy these....and I appreciate your loyalty very much.

    • Rfordin profile image

      Rfordin 5 years ago from Florida

      Bill you never skip a beat, have the power to make me laugh, cry and think.

      I truly enjoy your hubs!

      As always....thanks for sharing!

      ~Becky

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Cathleena, I'm glad you found my silliness funny! Thank you for stopping by.

    • Cathleena Beams profile image

      Cathleena Beams 5 years ago from Lascassas, Tennessee

      You made my day, or rather evening! I'm still laughing over your questions and answers. Voting up, useful, funny, awesome, interesting, and definitely sharing!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Carly, I am actually bashful. It's weird you wrote that; few people know that about me...shy and bashful ....I'll remember that about you if I'm ever in need of more info about ovulation. LOL

    • CarlySullens profile image

      CarlySullens 5 years ago from St. Louis, Missouri

      What a wonderful laugh! These are great, and I can sense your bashful and humerus side. If you ever want to know about ovulation, I am your girl, being a former doula and all.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Wendy, I'm glad I could start your day off with a laugh. Enjoy your weekend and thank you my friend.

    • TripleAMom profile image

      TripleAMom 5 years ago from Florida

      Bill, I've been out of the loop for a bit and just read this. I was crying I was laughing so hard. My family was looking at me funny. Had to read this one out loud. You are amazing Bill. Obviously voted up and more.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Kelly, welcome inside of my brain. LOL It's scary in here!

      Thanks buddy!

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      I can't help it - I am always amazed at what you come up with! I know I shouldn't be but really? OMG!!!!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mary, the thought of Paula taking me out behind the outhouse frightens me for some reason. LOL

      Thank you my friend; we shall keep writing silliness when it inspires me and hopefully everyone will laugh at my twisted imagination. :)

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 5 years ago from New York

      I think Paula's got the right idea. If you get your stimulus check you can pay someone to teach you about showing and ovulation! (I'm sure Paula can take you behing the outhouse and clue you in.) Let's face it money buys everything at Walmart, we all know that.

      Great read, full of laughs and your wonderfully twisted imagination!! Keep em comin' Uncle Bill.

      Voted up, funny, and awesome!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Spy, I finally guessed what that was.....weird search for sure....thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Trinity, you stay away from that bad stuff. LOL Thank you dear one!

    • unknown spy profile image

      IAmForbidden 5 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up.

      hahaha!!! i know who did the Death clock. hehehe. One time my classmate did this, she searched and found like an automatic calculator clock that says enter your birthday and it will count 50 yrs after. hehehe

    • Trinity M profile image

      Trinity M 5 years ago

      LOL! Brilliant hub Bill… now I’m going to have a shot or two of chloroform to recover :)))

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      mejohnson, then I succeeded. :) Thank you and I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

    • mejohnson profile image

      mejohnson 5 years ago

      This is great. You had me laughing from start to finish.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sha, I will never understand it! I do not want to know anyone who needs to know how to make chloroform.

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 5 years ago from Central Florida

      Bill, if you followed the Casey Anthony trial, here in Orlando, one of the searches that came up on her computer (17 times, I think?) was how to make chloroform. And she was still found not guilty? If she's not guilty, then why is she in hiding??????

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mary, I used to love those balls. The answers made as much sense as googling for answers makes. :)

      Thank you my friend!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Hazelwood...it amazes me to no end how much time people have on their hands.....when will I die? I'm not sure I have ever wanted to know that answer, but I know for a fact I have never googled it. LOL Thank you!

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 5 years ago from Florida

      I love tammyswallow's comment. I remember those little black balls. You just asked a question and it answered you every time.

      This was a fun Hub, I voted it as such. Mary

    • hazelwood4 profile image

      hazelwood4 5 years ago from Owensboro, Kentucky

      He he, thank you for sharing this hilarious Hub Billy. Isn't it amazing the things people actually search for on Google.com? Boy, do people have a lot of time on their hands.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Tammy, I'm beginning to think you are right....the one about "how to make chloroform is still highly googled....scary for sure but there are thousands out there searching for it. Strange worlds we live in.

      Thank you my friend!

    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 5 years ago from North Carolina

      When we were young all we had to do to find the answers to these buring questions was shake the Magic 8 ball. Google is now the all knowing source for information. This series is hilarious! They would probably make great hub material if so many people are wondering. :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Rosalinem, always glad to provide a much needed laugh. Thank you kind lady!

    • Rosalinem profile image

      Rosalinem 5 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

      Hi Billy, you never disappoint that was just a fantastic read! I enjoyed reading it and I got a much needed laugh.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thanks Debby! Welcome to my world, or at least the strange side of it. :)

    • Debby Bruck profile image

      Debby Bruck 5 years ago

      Hi Billy ~ Quite inventive search to put this string together and not unravel the ball of craziness, but create a little story. Put a smile on my face. Blessings, Debby

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sue, thank you, and we did have a great weekend. Relaxation was much-needed and now I feel fresh mentally...although the hike today took it's toll physically. :)

      I appreciate your kindness and support, Sue! Have a great week and once again, thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sha, my views tanked while I was taking time off...can't afford to do that very often. It's like I was punished for resting. LOL

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Nora, hello, and thank you! Have you written lately? I must go check now....thank you again!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Ruby, I am a nut indeed; I'm delaying growing up as long as possible.

      Thank you my dear!

    • profile image

      Sueswan 5 years ago

      Hi Bill

      First I would like to congratulate you on your most supportive hubber award. Well deserved, my friend.

      "If, however, you fail to ovulate, then you really need to have a talk with Tom, Dick or Harry…or all three! "

      If she is showing, she can blame it on dick. lol

      Bill, this was absolutely hilarious. It should keep me laughing through the week.

      Voted up across the board.

      I hope you and Bev had a great weekend. :)

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 5 years ago from Central Florida

      Send us pix of your trek. I knew I hadn't heard from you this weekend cuz you're taking well deserved "us" time!

      Love Ya!

    • Nora411 profile image

      Nora411 5 years ago from Chicago, IL

      Your hubs never fail to make me smile (or in this case LAUGH)! Great job once again, I always wonder about the odd searches in the google bar too! Voting up!! and Sharing!

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

      You are such a nut, HaHa..Your antics are funny, some are believable..Ha. Enjoyed..Cheers

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Vegas, not only amazing but a bit troubling! I am tempted to do a "how to make chloroform" hub just to see how it would do with views. Sigh! So sad! LOL

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Cyber, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I haven't been funny of late so it was nice to be silly. Thank you!

    • vegaswriter profile image

      vegaswriter 5 years ago from Las Vegas

      If you spend time on a Q & A site you get the same questions. One of the most asked questions on the web seems to be 'Am I pregnant', can you guess what's next??? The sheer numbers of people asking these things are amazing.

      An article on 'How to make Chloroform' would probably go over really big. Have them make one of those volcano explosions instead. Great Hub.

    • CyberShelley profile image

      Shelley Watson 5 years ago

      Billybuc, I enjoyed, once again, a very entertaining visit! I suppose if the politicians in elections get enough silly people together they could be voted into anything, that is almost as scary as, not sure which right now, the death clock or the ovulation query! Up, funny, interesting!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I have found that to be true, Martin! Written by content mills at $10 per 500 words. The world is an interesting place.

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 5 years ago from San Francisco

      The things you can find on Google, Did you know you can find "facts" (not real) on Google to "prove" anything? scary...

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jaye, that was a great line! Thanks for the reciprocating laugh. Glad you enjoyed it!

    • JayeWisdom profile image

      Jaye Denman 5 years ago from Deep South, USA

      I was ready for a laugh after a rather tense couple of days, and you did not disappoint me. I laughed until I almost....(maybe I'd better check on Google to learn if that is a possibility!)

      Jaye

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Always a pleasure Dana! The nice thing about doing these searches is that I always feel better about myself when I'm done. I wonder why that is? LOL

      Thanks for the visit and have a great Sunday!

    • profile image

      DanaTeresa 5 years ago

      just what i needed at the end of a horrific day! you never disappoint with this series, though the people that are doing therse searches might!... i keep thinking about the question of when will i ovulate. i swear the ways i have seen to figure that out combine calculus, biology, meteorololgy, witch-doctoring and plain dumb luck!

      thanks for suffering some online stupidity for the entertainment of the (intelligent) masses. :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sha, I'm laughing out loud at your last comment. That is very, very true! How reliable can that stuff be, really?

      I hope you are having a great weekend. We went to a movie this afternoon and we are going hiking in the mountains tomorrow....so I will catch up with you at some point.

      love,

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Julie, thanks! There aren't enough hours in the day to cover everything I want to cover. This series kind of fell through the cracks of my memory. Glad you liked it!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Rahul, that is usually my response as well. I feel pretty good about myself after one of these searches.

      Thank you young man! You are very much appreciated!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thanks Nephew Josh! Great times for sure and I always feel slightly superior after I do one of these hubs. LOL Have a great Sunday!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Richard, I think it's safe to say that Google has locked up that niche. LOL

      Thank you buddy; have a great weekend and I'll catch up with you on Monday. I'm shutting down for the rest of the weekend and going hiking.

      bill

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 5 years ago from Central Florida

      Too funny, Bill! The internet has really laid way for America's up and coming to be total ignoramuses, huh? Or is that ignorami? I think I'll google it. Oh, wait, I have dictionary.com in my favorites. Ah, nevermind, I'd rather see what assinine answers come up from Google!

      Today's seekers are a trip! Want to know something? Google it! Let's not have a conversation or look it up in an encyclopedia (a what? encyclo what????). I still keep a real dictionary on my desk, to which I refer almost daily when I doubt my memory. I also have a page-turning thesaurus! Imagine that?

      How many people in today's world don't know how to use either?

      While the internet puts more information at our fingertips than ever before, how much of it is accurate? It's like reading the newspaper; you can't believe everything you read. Especially since much of what's posted on the internet today, is freelancers earning $1 for every 500 work article!

      Really?

    • Julie DeNeen profile image

      Blurter of Indiscretions 5 years ago from Clinton CT

      Lots of female stuff in this hub!! LOL Glad you brought this funny series back...

    • rahul0324 profile image

      Jessee R 5 years ago from Gurgaon, India

      well ... one thing which i consistently learn frm this series is that... MORONs... are many and luckily I am not one of them :)

    • josh3418 profile image

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Bill,

      Another classic google search hub! It always gets me that people are searching these questions on Google! We do the dumbest stuff sometimes! LOL Thanks Bill for the laugh!

    • rcrumple profile image

      Rich 5 years ago from Kentucky

      Bill-

      Great read, my friend! lol ... not at the comment, the article!

      Just for the hell of it, I just went to Google to google Google. After Googling Google, found the 1st 30 entries (I quit after 30. Just woke up and still not with it.) were found either at Google.org, Google.com, or Googleblog. So, by Googling Google on Google, I got to see that Google has the market covered on that topic! Do you think Google is at the head of this monopoly?

      Loved the article, big guy. Keep 'em coming!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Don, thank you! I have thought of that but not sure how to even go about it. Thanks for the suggestion!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Suzette, thank you! I needed to be funny and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jeannie, that's what has me worried...that people are actually expecting to find the answer to that question. Glad you enjoyed it; I didn't know there were that many people who missed this series.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Julie, it had been awhile since I had written one of these. I'm glad you enjoyed it! I'm happy that my humor translates overseas. :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Patty, I read your comments and I can almost hear you laughing. I love your sense of humor and your zest for life. Have a wonderful weekend and thank you!

    • Don Bobbitt profile image

      Don Bobbitt 5 years ago from Ruskin Florida

      Great compilation!

      You made me laugh, and some days that is harder than others.

      Great standup routine for a comedian, too! You should contact a few, and really make a buck.

    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker 5 years ago from Taos, NM

      This is hilarious. I never even thought of doing Google searches to see what others search for and about. When will I ovulate? That one is priceless and I understand why you would leave that one alone!! This is just too funny. What a great thought process you have and such a unique way of looking at the world. I just know exactly where to come when I need a good laugh! Thanks so much!

    • Jeannieinabottle profile image

      Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

      I am so happy to see another one of these hubs! Hooray! I would like to think people were searching "When Will I Be Loved" because they are a fan of the Linda Ronstadt song. I hope no one actually believes Google can help them with the actual answer to that question. In all fairness, that song is pretty catchy. ;-) Another awesome hub... voted up and shared!

    • Jools99 profile image

      Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK

      Bill, I love these hubs - I just hope the 'when will I ovulate' are not being asked my men :o)....there are some nutty women out there!

    • Patty Kenyon profile image

      Patty Kenyon 5 years ago from Ledyard, Connecticut

      ROFL extremely hard!!!! That was too flipping funny!!!! ROFL

      As you already know I have teenage daughters and when their friends are over, the questions I see them searching on the web, along with the conversations they have among each other, I do know where some these types of searches come from in regards to love...LOL

      In regards to the Death Clock, I believe I saw one while following TToombs advice about making money...hmmm, that was a close call, but I don't think it was in the Ovulation Aisle.....LOL

      All Votes, Up, and Shared!!!! ROFL, AWESOME JOB!!!!!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Hell, TT, just toss my tips to the wind...the government will gladly snatch them up.

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 5 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      Yeah, Bill, don't give up your day job...oh, this IS your day job. Sorry to hear that, where is your tip jar so I can give to the needy? :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thanks bizwin; so glad that you enjoyed it!

    • bizwin profile image

      Christabel Evans 5 years ago from England, UK

      Waiting for the next series billybuc. Great laugh. Voted across.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      rfmoran, I will do that now! Thanks for the tip! LOL Thank you my friend!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      tobusiness, it is my pleasure! Thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Janine, if I helped you with a tough morning then my work is done! I love it when people tell me that my writing has helped them. Thanks for putting a big goofy smile on my face. Have a great weekend my dear friend.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      TT, great comment. You should try writing some comedy yourself! What? Oh, you already do? I'll have to check it out!

      Yep, you are right.... I always need a woman for the tough parts.

      Thanks Sis!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      healthy, I would tend to agree with your friend! I don't think I have ever made a search and had nothing come up. I guess I'm not nearly as clever as I thought I was. :) Thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sweethearts, I rarely have a bad day, so no pressure at all. :) Thank you and I'm glad you enjoyed!

    • rfmoran profile image

      Russ Moran 5 years ago from Long Island, New York

      Voted up and funny Bill. How about a Zen google search site. "What is a mouse when it sings?"

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 5 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      This is hilariously funny, well done.

    • Janine Huldie profile image

      Janine Huldie 5 years ago from New York, New York

      Bill, after the orugh morning I had I thank you tremendously and from the bottom of my heart for the laugh I got from your article here about Google Searches. I missed this series to say the least and for me this really was the just perfect timing, because I seriously have been so stressed today. I have do totally agree that nowadays everyone things the answers to all of life's problems exist on Google. Granted you can get quite an abundant amount of information this way, but again it all depends on what you are searching for and if it for something as ridiculous as making chloroform than I agree that you are definitely not someone I would want to know or associate with. That said thank you so much again for the much needed laugh today. Have shared and voted up too!!

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 5 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      FP, at least he didn't do the search that comes along AFTER the ovulation has been missed: "When will my boobs get bigger?" and the very popular, "When will this morning upchuck ever end?" and my personal favorite, "When will this spawn of satan exit my body?!"

      Great job Bill, but I think FP is right, you need a woman on the Google Search Panel to help you out with the tough parts. :)

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      Healthy Life 5 years ago from Connecticut, USA

      Thanks for the laugh..I needed it! A friend said that when you look for the answer to any question it's amazing that at least one other person has already asked it and you can find information online. Voted up!

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      sweethearts2 5 years ago from Northwest Indiana

      Google - where to go for fun/laughs

      Takes me here.

      This series has it's down side - some or most of those googlers could be voters.

      Have a great day - hope that's no pressure.

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Newbie, the dear Sister has never let me down when I needed to elicit a laugh! Thank you!

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Joseph....great comment! Where oh where is Sister Mary Catherine now? Stay out of elevators and have a great weekend.

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Paula, the crap has been cut! Going hiking at Mt. Rainier tomorrow; will replenish much-needed serenity.

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      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Yes...grasshopper......the beauty and peace of the glorious nature which surrounds me....fills me wisdom beyond all imagination......and....

      OK, let's cut the crap........wear higher boots next time........Have a BEAUTIFUL week-end......take some time away from that keyboard!

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      Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

      This didn't dissapoint me a bit. Seems that financial crisis added to 'heat' can make people come up with hopeless questions. Your humor is getting better Bill. I wonder if you cna answer to this one: How come Sister Mary Catherine never thought of Joining HP? Thanks bill. Still trying to evacuate that elevator...mentally!

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      New Newbie 5 years ago

      I thoroughly enjoyed reading this especially Sister Mary Catherine popping in and out. She made me smile every time. :)

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Paula, there is one truth I must always remember....you would never steer me wrong.

      In the future I will keep this in mind before doing any of these hubs! I can see now the error of my ways with this hub....thank you for your wisdom and un-erring directions.

      I suspect, because of the quiet solitude of the woods you live in, that you are able to see truths that this poor city dweller will never see. I bow to your wisdom!

      Oh my, it's getting rather deep in here....must go wipe my boots of the doo-doo.

      Love ya buddy!

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Michelle, I'm glad you enjoyed this silliness. Thank you for being so loyal.

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Pooja, let's hope that prediction is correct! Yes, we do share a common hobby; hey, it is cheap entertainment for sure! Thank you my friend.

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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Christy, thanks! I have so many things going on that I tend to forget some of the old series that I started out with...it was fun to do one of these again.

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      Christy Birmingham 5 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      Sister Mary Catherine, I have so many questions for her! Hehe I have loved this series from its start and am always assured a laugh :)

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      poojasd7 5 years ago from India

      This is so funny! Googling some questions and waiting for autoprompts tickle the funny bones. :D (We share a common hobby. Don't we? :P)

      Additionally,I actually tried "When will I die" just for my amusement. I took the quiz and found out that I will die in my 80s. LOL.