Summer Vacation Destinations For Car Mechanics....Warning...May Cause Laughter

Before summer bids adieu, we need to say howdy to some very special people, those men and women who faithfully service our vehicles out of the kindness of their heart (and of course the $50 per hour we pay them).

Where would we be without them? Well, most of us would be walking for sure, and most of us would have a great deal more cash in our pockets, but that’s beside the point. The point is that these fine folk keep us drivers on the road and because of that they deserve a great vacation getaway.

With that in mind, here are some great destinations for our car mechanics to travel to this summer. Let’s just hope they don’t drive any vehicles that they have worked on, or they won’t make it ten miles down the road. LOL Just a little humor, folks; don’t get your torque converters in a knot!

So pack up your cars, vans and SUVs, and get ready to hit the roads of the United States before summer is gone. Have a great time!

Any year is a good year if you are a car mechanic, right? How could it not be? You control our lives and that has to make you feel pretty darn important. We silly Americans love our cars and we can’t seem to function without them. That puts you folks in the proverbial driver’s seat now doesn’t it?

Stop by Al’s Rest Stop while you are in town. A free continental breakfast awaits you and a nice little discount on a lube job by the Feel Good Ladies is an added bonus. Don’t worry, they will be about as gentle as you are when you are printing out those estimates for our replacement parts.

What a lovely little burg this is! Stop for lunch at the Stick-It-To-Them Café and have a nice greasy burger and fries. You will love it when you get your bill and see all of the extra charges tacked on. It’s just their way of saying they love the job you do repairing their cars.

At the café they will also give you an estimate of the cost of your meal, but don’t pay any attention to it at all. It really is meaningless drivel and nobody takes it seriously.

This is a really cool town! They have a unique way of showing their appreciation to car mechanics. When you drive into Nashville everything seems normal, but by the time you drive out your car won’t be running properly. It’s magic and the townsfolk get a big kick out of it. Talk about going the extra mile to make you feel special; these people go out of their way to make you feel at home.

It’s all in fun and they will be glad to fix your car before you leave….for $50 an hour of course! Plan on spending a couple extra nights; most likely they will have to order your parts and you know how long that takes, right?

You have to pay a visit to the Jacked Around Bingo Parlor on Game Night. Every Saturday you pay your money, wait two hours for a seat, and then play for four hours with no chance of winning. Go ahead and complain to the management; they will ignore you like an independent mechanic ignores state law. Great fun!

Anyone who visits Surprise always stops in to see Dr. Grease for a free exam. That’s right, a free medical exam. He’s quite a practical joker that Dr. Grease. By the end of the exam he will find something wrong with you even though you are perfectly healthy. Makes a mechanic feel right at home now doesn’t it?

Did we mention that Dr. Grease is a proctologist? Just look for the sign that says "Bend Over Clinic" and you are there. We strongly suggest you don't buy Squirt out of the vending machine out front.

This is the sister city of Nashville, California, and these people are practical jokers. Stay at the Leaky Gasket Inn. When you wake up in the morning you’ll notice your car is gone. Don’t worry; it’s just being held for ransom until you can pay the bill for a new maintenance check-up they did that you didn’t ask for.

They do have free legal services for anyone who doesn’t find the humor in this, but seriously, you can’t win in this town. Just pay the bill and limp out of town as quickly as possible.

The residents of Square Butt have been looking at the butt cracks of mechanics for a long, long time, so they named their city after you. See a show at the Hairy Butt Cinema and then get a late-night snack at Tom’s Stinky Butt Café.

As you walk around town you’ll notice that all of the residents have low-riding jeans with tightly cinched belts, and they all smoke Marboros. It’s all in your honor so walk the streets proudly

Great town made up of former mechanics. If you are a guy visiting, please don’t be offended if the townsfolk ignore you. However, if you are a good looking woman, expect to be fawned over and talked down to.

Everyone smiles in Smiley, Texas, and it’s all because of you. Yes, you will pay ten times more than you should for products and yes, the service is atrocious. That’s why the citizens are smiling. Duh!

While in town you can dolly on down to the Rack n Pinion Market; they have a 2 for 1 sale on pads for your wife....brake pads of course! What did you think we meant?

This is the last of this series, as summer is all but gone, and we all have to face another nine months of drudgery at our day job! I hope you have enjoyed this as much as I have in writing it. It’s all been in fun, folks, and I promise next summer to write one of these articles about freelance writers. Now that will be interesting for sure!

2012 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)