A Few Things You Should Know About Ireland!
By
Ross Dix-Peek
Well, the honeymoon is over!
Here are a few facts that they don�t tell you when immigrating to Ireland!
They are merely my views and opinions, and should be treated thus.
Ireland is the most expensive country in Europe.
· Make absolutely sure that you have enough money to support yourself for the first few months�because you more than likely cannot expect help from the Irish banks��they are not generally forthcoming and helpful.
· Make absolutely certain that your credit cards are in good order and that you will be able to use them overseas - check the PIN numbers�very important (for instance, South African credit cards are not valid after three months abroad).
· Try to avoid living in Dublin, again very expensive. For instance, you can hire a house in the Cork district with no-less than five-bedrooms (and a garden) for Euro 900, whereas a two-bedroom apartment in Swords, Dublin, will cost you a whopping Euro 1100-1300 per month.
· I must warn you immediately, Irish estate agents are �dogs��they are not helpful, intent only on making as much money from you as possible and, the land lords� are also (in my experience) devoid of ethics�before agreeing to any contract, make sure you have acquired the lowest rent possible: apply pressure (the recession has hit the Irish land-owning fraternity quite hard and they should therefore be receptive to most offers)�a little aside, land-owners in Ireland think that they in fact own the land, but they own absolutely nothing�they are themselves tenants (in �fee simple�), because the land belongs to the Irish State, a little something they inherited from the British Crown upon independence in the 1920s�and the British Monarchy is in effect the biggest landowner in the world�and they say feudalism is a thing of the past!
· Be aware of the fact that it gets dark very early during winter (by half-past four in the afternoon), and that during summer the reverse is evident (remaining light until well into the �night�). If the deprivation of sunlight alarms you, you may want to invest in a �SAD� lamp which imparts Ultra Violet (UV) rays and combats depression resulting from the �loss� of sunlight�you can purchase a �SAD� lamp at �Argos� for roughly �60, but it might not help at all (it helped my wife, but did not help me)�so think about it carefully.
· Do not bank with the �Bank of Ireland�, not �user-friendly� (they have treated us very shoddily) and they are in financial trouble anyway, rather bank with �AIB�.
· Do not shop at �Dunne�s�, again very expensive, rather do your shopping at �Penney�s�, �Lidl�s�, �Aldi�s�or the �2�� store�much, much cheaper.
· When buying clothes, your cheapest option is �Penney�s��and Irish men seemed to have a fascination for pointed shoes, a throwback to the 70�s�hideous, not my style.
· If you are a woman, and short skirts, boots and tracksuits are not your idea of �avant garde� fashion, then you had better bring a hefty collection of your own clothes with you, as I do not think the average Irish clothes retailer will be to your liking.
· And, always remember, the Irish are born-salesmen (and sales-women), and so always be wary when shopping, or even when just in the vicinity of a salesperson�they are always trying to sell you something, don�t think they are there to help, there sole-reason for living is to force you to buy something�and the more expensive, the merrier, for them that is!(that is not to say that they are not helpful, because for the most part they are, but it really pays to be on the �qui vive�)
· Whenever buying something, always make doubly sure that the price agreed upon is in fact the specified price, never just take it for granted (truly, bills have a way of jumping out at you in Ireland, there always seems to be an additional cost)�there are a hell-of-a-lot of �conmen� in Ireland�and also make sure that the items that you have purchased are indeed under guarantee.
· Oh, when you suddenly chance upon a local who seems smeared with something akin to �baby shit�, do not despair, it is only an example of artificial sun-tanning (using sun-beds and the like) and they look thus because their skins are not at all used to sun�and the result is�the �babyshit� look!
· Really, when confused or just wishing merely to query something, ask! The Irish are generally approachable, and Dubliners are a lot friendlier than Londoners.
· If you encounter any problems with your employer, get hold of the Department of Trade and Enterprise immediately, and inform them of your plight. They are extremely receptive and very prompt. Don�t take any unnecessary crap from your employer!
· If your vocation is in the medical field (especially Occupational Therapy), then try to gain employment with the HSE (the Health Service Executive), the Irish equivalent to the British National Health System, your best option�far more secure � pension, paid-leave, sick-leave, regulated hours, no overtime etc.
· If you entered the country on a �Green Card�, then make absolutely certain that your employee pays the Euro 1000 fee, and resist any attempt on their part to make you pay for it�it is against the law. If they insist�get hold of the Department of Trade and Enterprise!
· Again, if you are entering Ireland on a �Green Card�, be apprised of the fact that you are expected to work for your future employee for at least 12 months before seeking another job. But, if you wish to leave before then, do not become despondent, contact the Department of Trade and Enterprise and make absolutely certain of your rights�as mentioned afore, they are very professional and reliable.
· Remember, if your spouse enters the country with you he/she will, upon finding employment, also be subject to the same restrictions, notably the inability to change jobs within the first 12 months of having been employed in Ireland.
· Remember, you are an �Immigrant�, an �Alien� in other words�the Irish do not really want you in the country, but they need your expertise, and thus they tolerate you�generally, they are fine, but bear that caveat in mind.
· The �Gardai� (pronounced �Goddie�), or the police force, are generally approachable and helpful, and do the best they can, under difficult circumstances.
· Ireland is an enigma. Although a highly regulated first-world country, its infrastructure can at times seem antediluvian, antiquated �akin to what you would expect to find in the �back of beyond�, but it must always be borne in mind that Ireland was, until quite recently, a poor agrarian-based economy�and therefore the chasm between �modernity� and �antiquity�.
· If you need to use the internet, there are a plethora of internet cafes all over Ireland, but bear in mind that the local library will also more than likely have an internet facility, and it costs one nothing�but it involves booking a session. It will save you some money, as internet cafes charge approximately �5 per half hour�but again, shop around.
· When buying a car, be very, very aware of conmen and sharks! Car salesmen in Ireland, as in the rest of the world, are a bunch of cunning, mendacious reprobates. Also remember that you will need to pay for the NCT test (roadworthy test in other words), insurance (a good insurance company is �AXA�), and tax.
· Also, if you buy a car make sure you join AA�imperative! The road emergency services are not (in my personal experience) at all reliable, and if your car does indeed break-down (as ours has in the past), do not expect anybody to stop�but that is to be expected in any country the world-over.
· Don�t even think of renting a car in Dublin for a lengthy period of time�frightfully expensive.
· If you plan on Driving in Ireland, prepare yourself for the plethora of �Roundabouts� (the Irish seem absolutely fascinated with them) and the annoyingly narrow country roads, but it must also be said that Irish drivers are generally very accommodating.
· Now, one thing about Ireland, their public transport system works, and is to be commended. The buses and trains are generally on time and the bus drivers are, in the main, very cordial and extremely helpful.
· And, if you wish to fly from Ireland to another European destination, then �Ryanair� is your best bet, and cheap fares can often be found on their webpage, an example being to fly from Dublin to London for a measly �10, but always enquire about airport tax and other �hidden� costs!
· Food is generally cheap, but one has to be discerning as far as �specials� go, and it is best if one shops around�again, �Lidl�s� and �Aldi�s� are your best bet (German companies�Irish retailers seem to be expensive).
· I have been told, but cannot verify, that Polish foodstuffs at times resemble certain South African food products and variants (there are many Polish folk resident in Ireland and tons of Polish shops), so if you are a South African resident in Ireland, you might wish to visit your local Polish shop�as the South African shops (there is one in Dublin that I know of) are very expensive (of course they would be, South African�s love ripping off their own countrymen: that is South Africa�s national sport�and you thought it was rugby)
· Bread is on average (in Dublin) about Euro 1.88-2.00 a loaf; milk � �1.65; A shirt (at Penneys) about �5-10; a pair of jeans �10; shoes, anywhere from �20-60 per pair (and that�s an average pair of shoes); coffee, approximately �3-4; chocolates, �1.00 (chocolates and sweets are generally cheap); a Mobile Phone, anywhere from �59; a hair-dryer, approximately �19 etc, etc.
· A good place to shop is �Argos�, which comprises a collection of cash-points, whereby a person, having consulted the �Argos� catalogue and chosen the desired item, apprises a cashier of the catalogue number and proceeds to collect the item�a good place to shop, and the prices are affordable, but it never does one harm to shop around�and in Ireland it often pays to do so.
· Coffee shops are a dime-a-dozen, but if you wish to save money, and yet indulge in a cup of coffee, then try to avoid �Starbucks�, which is an absolute rip-off�very expensive!
· I cannot verify whether this is true throughout Ireland, but in Dublin you will more than likely receive what at first glance seems to be two electricity bills. Now, one pertains to the �ESB� which is the designated Electricity Company, while the other pertains to �Bord Gais�, which supplies customers with gas for central heating. The deposits are normally between �200-300 and the outstanding monthly fee can be paid by debit. It often happens that bills arrive every two-months instead of monthly, so always budget appropriately, just to be safe.
· As far as television goes, �Sky� is your best choice�the Irish equivalent �Chorus, NTL� are not to be trusted�they overcharge!
· A television licence is compulsory, and unlike South Africa, the Irish authorities do uphold this law. It costs approximately Euro 160 (per year) and can be bought at any local post office.
· If you are a South African, do not ask a cashier at any shop in Ireland for a �packet�, completely baffles them�rather ask for a �bag�
· Although apparently an English-speaking nation, they seemed to find it very difficult to understand accents different from their own, thus you will be well served to enunciate your words and get used to �Ha?� �What?��bloody annoying.
· In addition, they do not pronounce their �H�s�, so get used to �Tirty-Tree� instead of �Thirty Three� or �Turd� instead of �Third�.
· You will also notice from the very outset that both English and Gaelic (or Irish) are represented on most of the signage in Ireland. It reminds me of South Africa during the apartheid years, Afrikaans having been forced on the South African English-speaking community (just as it was forced upon the Blacks), and I can only think that the so-called pride in their �national� language is nothing more than a vile attempt on the part of a minority to enforce their desires upon the vast majority of Irish men, women and children who do not speak the language, and therefore I find the whole concept oppressive.
· If you don�t smoke, then Ireland�s not for you�I think smoking is their national sport. They are completely addicted to nicotine�rather sad to see!
· Expect �expectoration� or spit all over the pavements�they seem to love expelling phlegm. But, in all fairness, I cannot say as to whether this disgusting habit is that of the local Irish folk or the Foreigners residing in Ireland: all the same, it is absolutely despicable to behold.
· In regard to the Irish Educational system, I can only say, having observed its �alma maters� (the Irish youth), that it seems fundamentally flawed, and that the intellectual prowess of the average Irish youth seems, in my humble opinion, to be non-existent (but, I stress, that that is my opinion, and my opinion alone, and that most country�s educational systems� would be found wanting in my estimate thereof).
· Expect to see �buggies� or prams all over the place. The Irish are completely enamoured of children, and believe their children to be a blessing�so big families are still prevalent (and I have to say that Irish kids are, in my opinion, nothing but a bunch of spoilt brats!). The youth seem to abuse the local welfare system (equivalent to the British �Dole�) and so you will grow accustomed to the legions of young mothers� (with the ever-present cigarette to hand) trotting about with their �pay packet� (the baby) neatly ensconced in the pram.
· The kids all dress like gangsters (�Hoodies�), and Ireland�s national costume is, in my opinion, that awful fashion statement, the tracksuit�with the concomitant hood!
· Dipsomania or drunkenness seems to be rampant among the Irish youth, and has even elicited efforts on the part of the Irish government to expunge this flagitious malaise. I recall reading an interesting article postulating that the although the Irish have always been known to be heavy drinkers�, it is, in essence, the country�s newly acquired affluence that is the root course of the problem with alcohol- there is far more money about, and so the children are given oodles of money (in lieu of love), which they in turn invest in �Mr Guinness� (and then proceed to puke all over Ireland)�and the winner is, yes, �Mr Guinness��and people talk about �Weapons of Mass Destruction�!
· Of course, Catholicism still predominates but it seems apparent that the Irish youth, in particular , have chosen to rebel against organised religion, and specifically the Roman Catholic Church�that seems to be Ireland, from one extreme to another!
· If you love books, and you live in Dublin, then �Chapters� (in Parnell Street) is your best bet. �Eason�s� and �Hughes and Hughes� are very expensive.
· Do not immigrate to Ireland during the Christmas season�hectic and expensive.
· If you are a Heliolater (a sun worshipper), then Ireland really is not the place for you- need I say more?
· Learn to dress in layers, a T-shirt, a shirt, a jersey, a windbreaker etc, etc, and take them off as the weather dictates.
· If you love your beer, as I do, try to stay away from pubs�anywhere from Euro 4.50 � 5.00 a pint.
· Buy your liqueur at a shopping mall, and avoid the �Off-Licence� liqueur stores at all costs�prohibitively costly
Ireland is in general a pleasant country to live in, but in my opinion, both the Irish people and government need to value and protect what is in essence one of their greatest national asset�s , the immigrant community. The immigrant community is the bedrock whereupon the Irish economy has been built, and lest the Irish forget, it was not that long-ago that millions-upon-millions of Irish men, women and children themselves sought sanctuary in far-away lands the world over, and were themselves mere immigrants�
which I never had tried, and as a culture I found them to be very colorful, charming, and very proud of their music and heritage. In addition, I never saw discrimination coming from them when dealing with other nationalities, well at least this was my subjective experience. The ex was not exactly an ideal companion, but I did enjoy glimpsing their culture.
