I'd like feedback on my Hub: No. Being a stay at home mom is not a job!

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   Mommal3earposted 8 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub No. Being a stay at home mom is not a job! (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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      firstcookbookladyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      well, for starters, I notice that you started out speaking in first person, or "I". Then you switch, to an entirely different narration and you talk about 'we'. You need to pick one, not several. Then, you get all chummy with your reader and ask some question that isn't really a question, but an opinion. Actually, you've gotten chummy with me, the reader and we disagree. So... there is your feedback.

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         Mommal3earposted 8 years agoin reply to this

         I am new to this. I used to write but, I lost touch with it. I thankyou for your input. I will try and take note.  All advice would be wonderful!

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            firstcookbookladyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

            and another thing... you seem to have command of grammar and spelling when you reply to the discussion, so why not use that voice and conversational interaction in your hubpage. I think that would work well.

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               Kathryn L Hillposted 8 years agoin reply to this

               I have a great idea. Gallery show: blow it up, (along with others / topics  including well chosen appropriate photos, etc,) and display it as art. Then this type of expression could be recognized as visual art in print form / magazines, books etc.
               
               Personalize punctuation. Break the rules.
               After all, thats what art is now based on!
               
               You naysayers try it, its not easy to punctuate from the heart.

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   Mommal3earposted 8 years ago

   What can I do to better my blog?

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   Sherry Hewinsposted 8 years ago

   You need to break that text into paragraphs,  check your capitalization and spacing for starters.

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   Kylyssaposted 8 years ago

   First off, you seem to think you are posting to a blog. A blog is a single site on a single subject with pages of posts which are often informal in nature.
   
   HubPages is a site where you can post articles, tutorials, recipes, stories, editorials, interviews, poetry, and quite a few different sorts of writing, but not informal blog posts.
   
   If you want to blog, you should find a website that hosts blogs, like Blogger or WordPress. If you want to write pieces that aspire to be magazine quality writing, that is what HubPages is intended for.
   
   Other issues are the title not matching the content well, the change of point of view, the absence of solid facts, and the lack of focus.
   
   It might help you to think of HubPages as a magazine that's about everything. So if you write about childcare, for instance, it should be something that could fit into a magazine about childcare. If you write about how to make a great spongecake, it should be something that could fit into a women's magazine or cooking magazine.
   
   You don't have to write at magazine quality, but the idea is that you should be trying to. HubPages also strongly prefers a tight focus, a narrow topic covered in each separate hub.
   
   Welcome to HubPages. I think your engaging writing style could be a real asset when  you give it more focus and direction.

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      RonElFranposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      "If you write about childcare, for instance, it should be something that could fit into a magazine about childcare." That's a great way to put it, Kylyssa. I think HP should grab that formulation and include it somewhere in the Learning Center.

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   lovetherainposted 8 years ago

   Your article is full of grammatical, punctuation and capitalization errors.

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   Kathryn L Hillposted 8 years ago

   Its perfect.  If I owned a parenting magazine I would pay you.

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      Mommal3earposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thankyou.

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