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I'd like feedback on my Hub: No. Being a stay at home mom is not a job!

  1. profile image60
    Mommal3earposted 19 months ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub No. Being a stay at home mom is not a job! (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

    1. firstcookbooklady profile image84
      firstcookbookladyposted 19 months ago in reply to this

      well, for starters, I notice that you started out speaking in first person, or "I". Then you switch, to an entirely different narration and you talk about 'we'. You need to pick one, not several. Then, you get all chummy with your reader and ask some question that isn't really a question, but an opinion. Actually, you've gotten chummy with me, the reader and we disagree. So... there is your feedback.

      1. profile image60
        Mommal3earposted 19 months ago in reply to this

        I am new to this. I used to write but, I lost touch with it. I thankyou for your input. I will try and take note.  All advice would be wonderful!

        1. firstcookbooklady profile image84
          firstcookbookladyposted 19 months ago in reply to this

          and another thing... you seem to have command of grammar and spelling when you reply to the discussion, so why not use that voice and conversational interaction in your hubpage. I think that would work well.

          1. Kathryn L Hill profile image88
            Kathryn L Hillposted 19 months ago in reply to this

            I have a great idea. Gallery show: blow it up, (along with others / topics  including well chosen appropriate photos, etc,) and display it as art. Then this type of expression could be recognized as visual art in print form / magazines, books etc.

            Personalize punctuation. Break the rules.
            After all, thats what art is now based on!

            You naysayers try it, its not easy to punctuate from the heart.

  2. profile image60
    Mommal3earposted 19 months ago

    What can I do to better my blog?

  3. Sherry Hewins profile image93
    Sherry Hewinsposted 19 months ago

    You need to break that text into paragraphs,  check your capitalization and spacing for starters.

  4. Kylyssa profile image96
    Kylyssaposted 19 months ago

    First off, you seem to think you are posting to a blog. A blog is a single site on a single subject with pages of posts which are often informal in nature.

    HubPages is a site where you can post articles, tutorials, recipes, stories, editorials, interviews, poetry, and quite a few different sorts of writing, but not informal blog posts.

    If you want to blog, you should find a website that hosts blogs, like Blogger or WordPress. If you want to write pieces that aspire to be magazine quality writing, that is what HubPages is intended for.

    Other issues are the title not matching the content well, the change of point of view, the absence of solid facts, and the lack of focus.

    It might help you to think of HubPages as a magazine that's about everything. So if you write about childcare, for instance, it should be something that could fit into a magazine about childcare. If you write about how to make a great spongecake, it should be something that could fit into a women's magazine or cooking magazine.

    You don't have to write at magazine quality, but the idea is that you should be trying to. HubPages also strongly prefers a tight focus, a narrow topic covered in each separate hub.

    Welcome to HubPages. I think your engaging writing style could be a real asset when  you give it more focus and direction.

    1. RonElFran profile image95
      RonElFranposted 19 months ago in reply to this

      "If you write about childcare, for instance, it should be something that could fit into a magazine about childcare." That's a great way to put it, Kylyssa. I think HP should grab that formulation and include it somewhere in the Learning Center.

  5. lovetherain profile image46
    lovetherainposted 19 months ago

    Your article is full of grammatical, punctuation and capitalization errors.

  6. Kathryn L Hill profile image88
    Kathryn L Hillposted 19 months ago

    Its perfect.  If I owned a parenting magazine I would pay you.

    1. profile image60
      Mommal3earposted 19 months ago in reply to this

      Thankyou. smile

 
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