What is the dumbest thing you have spoken or heard someone else say?

1. 60

   Dave Mathewsposted 12 years ago

   As a postal truck driver I was driving down the street with a
   5-ton truck, full of mail heading for the sorting plant. I looked in my mirrors and noticed smoke rising up over top my truck, so I pulled over to the curb. Sure enough the truck was on fire. I grabbed my fire extinguisher and rushed to the back of the truck. Carefully slowly I opened raised the back door. Bot the mail and the truck itself were aflame. I climbed aboard and used my extinguisher to try to save the mail with little success. As I was hopping down a cop pulled up behind me and the cop approached me saying "Ya Got a fire eh, would you lie a flare?"  I immediately responded with a quick but silly response. "No thanks, I think it's burning pretty good without any help."
   
   The cop phoned my office for me and reported the truck on fire and within 5 minutes, my supervisor shows up. The first question out of his mouth was: "Why would you take out a truck that you knew would catch fire?" to which I replied, that: "I was looking for a way to make my day more exciting." Like how could I possibly know in advance that a truck was going to catch fire.

   replyreport
   1. 61

      Disturbiaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      You are smokin' hot!

      replyreport
      1. 60

         Dave Mathewsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         sometimes my witty mind works so fast, my mouth is not even aware of what is being said.

         replyreport
   2. 0

      Baileybearposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      my mother says lots of daft things.  One I found particularly funny is:  'chocolate is one hundred percent fat!'

      replyreport
2. 67

   Michael Willisposted 12 years ago

   Oh, my! Dumbest thing I have ever said....it was a Huge doozy!
   
   I was at a funeral for my friend's father. I was talking with this niece and her daughters when her ex-husband walked up. I had been friends with them over the years. I had not seen him since the divorce.
   
   I knew he had left her for another woman, but...not my business, I would treat them the same with my friendship.
   
   Back to the funeral.
   
   While we all were talking, a small child (maybe 4 years old?) walked up and was asking Daddy for something. The child left and he said that is my son.
   
   I don't know WHY I said it, maybe still having thoughts from a remark just made to the ex-wife of his, but for some Dumb reason my next words were..."I'm sorry!!!"
   
   OMG...I was so embarrassed. Felt so dumb!
   I was Not sorry he had a son. Just couldn't believe those words came out of my mouth and they truthfully were not directed at the fact he had a son.
   
   Lesson: be careful what you say when you are talking to more than One person at a time!!!!!

   replyreport
   1. 60

      Chaotic Chicaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      That is true roll on the floor laughing material!  That's hilarious!

      replyreport
3. 62

   Lisa HWposted 12 years ago

   I pretty much couldn't even come up with any "dumbest thing" someone else has said to me, because I'd had to scour an Internet's worth and enclopedia's worth or memories of dumb things people say.
   
   As for me saying dumb things - I've done it from time to time I guess, but I mostly specialize in DOING dumb things  and I REALLY specialize is doing dumb things that occur to me might be risky/dumb but that I go ahead and do anyway.
   
   Here's my specialty in doing dumb things:  I'll do something like take my wallet to the kitchen so I can do something like read a tiny customer-service phone number on a bank card.  The stove's range hood light is great for that kind of thing.  So, I'll do something like lay the wallet on the top of the stove and I'll even think, "Don't lay the wallet down.  You're going out.  You may forget it."  Then I'll tell myself, "Oh, go ahead.  Just make sure you don't forget it."   THEN, I'll go ahead and do whatever I reminded myself not to do because I KNEW what could happen.    It's as if I think that having it "occur to me" what might happen is enough.    You can guess how brilliant it feels to do something like get miles away to the store and discover the wallet and bank card were left on top of the stove (or the keys or the cell phone or the umbrella etc. etc.     )
   
   My most recent dumb thing involves a different kind of toilet disinfectant that hangs over the edge of the bowl, that made me wonder if that kind of "hook" might fall off and end up down the toilet, and that resulted in my deciding "it must be OK if the package says it's OK.  Did I remember to notice whether the thing was there when I cleaned?  Nope.  It wasn't something I'm used to having to think about.  Let's just say that I'm telling myself the $100 plumber visit was well worth it.   

   replyreport
4. 64

   Greek Oneposted 12 years ago

   "Yes, I will marry you, Greek One"
   
   
   hahahahaha... got her good on that one!

   replyreport
   1. 61

      Disturbiaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      

      replyreport
5. 0

   Emile Rposted 12 years ago

   Dumbest thing I've ever heard someone say was at a funeral. We were standing by the casket and someone comments that the dead guy looked good. I thought it was a joke and I laughed. It didn't go over well.  They were serious.

   replyreport
   1. 67

      Michael Willisposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      ouch!

      replyreport
6. 60

   Bellamieposted 12 years ago

   Ever call Domino's pizza and try to order a pizza to be delivered to your home?  Just the other night I called the Dominos nearest my home.  Same one I have called over the last few years.  They tell me that they don't deliver in my area anymore and gave me a number for another one of their pizza places.  Long story short, I called both back and forth for over 40 minutes.  After the first 3 calls it became a neat little challenge to see which Dominos was going to actually deliver.  In the end the first place I called finally realized I was on their grid and said they would deliver a pizza to me, took my order (for the 4th time!) and gave me a total cost.  I told them I only had a twenty dollar bill so please bring change.  The guy on the other end of the phone said "okay, sure," and in his next breath asked, "are you paying with a credit card or cash?"  Now THAT was really dumb!!  40 minutes on the phone and 35 minutes waiting for the pizza to reach my door!  I got a the pizza for ten bucks, but the next day saw an advertisement on tv for $7.99!!  Go figure!!

   replyreport
7. 70

   allstayathomeposted 12 years ago

   The dumbest thing I have heard recently is that the world was going to end May 21, 2011.

   replyreport
8. 58

   TerryGlposted 12 years ago

   "What do you cook low and slow"

   replyreport
9. 81

   jacqui2011posted 12 years ago

   I remember once in high school (many years ago!!) my teacher got her words mixed up when she was shouting at a group of us for talking. I laughed out loud and she told me to "wipe the smile" off my face. I've never really managed to do this, maybe it was the type of cloth I was using! Lol.

   replyreport
10. 82

    timorousposted 12 years ago

    A friend of mine once told me about the time his brother-in-law was using two garden hoses to fill up his swimming pool, in the belief that it would fill up more evenly if you use a hose at either end (yes, it was water).  I met this guy a number of times, and it wouldn't surprise me that he would actually believe such a concept.
    
    True story.

    replyreport
11. 80

    earnestshubposted 12 years ago

    I don't need to look past this one.
    
    "God definitely doesn't hate amputees. I know several people personally who've seen legs and arms grow out. One man actually held a child's feet out and heard cracking and popping as the shorter foot grew out to the same length as the other. God does miracles to prove His love and power."

    replyreport
    1. 0

       Baileybearposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       

       replyreport
    2. 60

       recommend1posted 12 years agoin reply to this

       This is exactly what the Fulangong or whatever they are called are promoting here in China, then claiming persecution because they are being shut down !

       replyreport
       1. 80

          earnestshubposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          I can understand a Government wanting to shut down people with beliefs as bizarre as that! Wow!

          replyreport
          1. 60

             recommend1posted 12 years agoin reply to this

             I don't think they believe it - I think they are basic con-merchants - stupid thing is they get support from stupid groups outside China, making it harder for rational religions to operate, if that is not a contradiction of terms.

             replyreport
12. 70

    ddsurfscaposted 12 years ago

    when I stopped and asked someone on the street for direction, they looked confused and said...."Lady, I don't think you can get there from here."

    replyreport
13. 68

    Beth100posted 12 years ago

    (at the drive through window)
    
    "....oh by the way, can I have that to go?" 

    replyreport
14. 68

    Beth100posted 12 years ago

    the situation:  at work, a colleagues telephone is broken and she has forgotten her password to access her voicemail.  Three days have gone by, and IT has not solved her problem.
    
    She calls downstairs and tells them that she submitted her issue, been issued a ticket and still hasn't heard back.
    
    Voice on the other line:  Ma'am, according to the history of the file on the computer system, we called you two days ago and left a voicemail message for you with your new password which will reactivate your phone. 
    
      duh!

    replyreport
15. 70

    ddsurfscaposted 12 years ago

    I was working at Taco Bell, and we had about 40 or more people in at lunch rush.  My customer only ordered a coffee, and I asked him if he wanted hot sauce with that?

    replyreport
    1. 76

       Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Dumbest thing said to me
       
       The only thing wrong with you, is you did not give it all up for Jesus

       replyreport
       1. 76

          Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          And ... only Jesus gave you that gift, I hear that most often
          
          ....like I woke one day and was poof!!! Multi talented, who the hell needs to work at it,

          replyreport
    2. 60

       Chaotic Chicaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       ddsurfsca, at least they could not accuse you of not pushing the product!  Clearly you had said that so many times that it was natural!
       
       More than once I have answered my home phone with the company greeting!

       replyreport
16. 60

    Chaotic Chicaposted 12 years ago

    I could probably write a book filled with dumb things I have said or have been said to me!
    
    "stop putting toys in your brother's butt" {son stuffing baby brother's diaper with toys}
    
    'I need to drink my English' {spoken in high school to my best friend as we were both needing a drink and studying for an English test}
    
    'You ride that thing?' {spoken by an idiot who watched me ride into the parking lot on my bike-not as a passenger, not with a passenger}
    
    there's more but I'm busy so I can't think straight...

    replyreport
17. 86

    cardeleanposted 12 years ago

    Oooo, I've got one.  I was a party once and the tv was on.  It was some show about dinosaurs roaming the earth.  A friend of my husband's said, "Can you believe people really think that they existed?  That shit's just all made up."  Hmmm, maybe the bones were a clue????

    replyreport
    1. 60

       Chaotic Chicaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       He is not the only person with this mindset.  I {sadly} know several people who ignore the skeletons and fossils and believe that all the dinosaurs hype is made up.

       replyreport
18. 85

    IzzyMposted 12 years ago

    "Are you reading that paper you are sitting on?" - Yeah I got eyes in my butt!
    
    "Is anyone sitting there?" - pointing to an empty chair. They must be invisible.
    
    The best, my granny, God rest her soul, once phoned the police to complain about roudy teenagers hanging about outside her door, and when the police asked for her address, she declined to tell them where she lived.
    
    "Name and address, madam?" "I'd rather not say!"

    replyreport
19. 60

    Chaotic Chicaposted 12 years ago

    My girlfriend is rather sarcastic and is prone to smart comebacks.  When she was on her first sea assignment they stopped in Greece and she was talking to her shipmates about the outdoor cafes and the signs.  One wondered aloud what they meant.  Without thinking my girlfriend pops off "I don't know, it's all Greek to me."
    It took her a minute to realize what the others were laughing about.

    replyreport
20. 0

    Muldanianmanposted 12 years ago

    I used to walk my friend's dogs, and whenever people would ask me where I had been, I always used to say that I had been 'dogging.'  I didn't understand why people would laugh or give me a funny look.  Only after saying this many times, did someone explain that dogging does not mean walking the dog, and I felt rather stupid.  Now I just say that I have been taking the dogs for a walk.

    replyreport
    1. 85

       IzzyMposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXzaVOk_Ydk

       replyreport
       1. 68

          Beth100posted 12 years agoin reply to this

          

          replyreport
21. 78

    DIYweddingplannerposted 12 years ago

    As a friend of mine and I walked down Ocean Boulevard in Myrtle Beach, SC...
    
    "If I had a swing like that in my backyard, I wouldn't get off of it all day long!"

    replyreport