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I have a fan that's being too friendly

  1. Dorsi profile image90
    Dorsiposted 8 years ago

    I've never had this happen, someone contact me on my email through hubpages and asking me for more pics, and an inappropriate advance towards me.
    Is this the price of fandom?
    Ughhh!!!!!!!!!!!
    roll

    1. SamurWriter profile image60
      SamurWriterposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      you can report him to hubpages and they will warn him, if he continues he will lose his account.

      Jerrico

      p.s. why doesn't any one ever stalk me? lol

    2. profile image0
      SirDentposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      In addition to ignoring, you can also set the spam filter on his email addy. If you want revenge. publish his email addy all over the internet and let the spider bots pick it up and he will get so much junk mail it isn't funny.  tongue

    3. compu-smart profile image80
      compu-smartposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      This is where one of my favorite sayings comes into play...
      "Ignorance is bliss"
      Ignore the mails Dorsi!smile

    4. profile image0
      Poppa Bluesposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      No it's the price of fame!

  2. RFox profile image82
    RFoxposted 8 years ago

    Yikes, that sux! sad

  3. Misha profile image75
    Mishaposted 8 years ago

    I would just ignore them

    1. Dorsi profile image90
      Dorsiposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      That's what I was thinking- to not even respond. Any response would probably encourage them and I don't want that.
      Now, what they should know is that I have a very burly husband that would kick their butt...lol!!!

      1. RFox profile image82
        RFoxposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        Yep, having a good man about the house is a great security device....lol wink

        1. spryte profile image88
          spryteposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          Err...no offense Misha...but it loses something with the lipstick and flower in your hair. smile

          1. Misha profile image75
            Mishaposted 8 years ago in reply to this

            LOL Even with all that camouflage I can still knock you off tongue

      2. Dottie1 profile image81
        Dottie1posted 8 years ago in reply to this

        This has happened to me too, Dorsi.  To just ignore is the best  advice.  I just checked the profile of the one saying and emailing me and he is still registered with hubpages but has not made any comments on any hubs for 2 months.  Just keep your eyes open!

      3. Jerrico Usher profile image59
        Jerrico Usherposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        They might be more scared if you had a burly husband with a few computer certs in ethical hacking technologies, cause then he could track them down smile a burly husband means nothing online, he who knows the most about anonymity (spell?) and IP technology wins this game... Cyber stalkers however are taking these courses to hide behind these technolgies, I find this disturbing...

        But what this guy should know is if he leaves any comments, emails etc.. his IP address is shown. If not in commetns box HubPages can track him by IP and other authorities can find him even if he switches accounts or uses another service etc... if he's not skilled in computer tracking he's making a dumb move here stalking you.. but he may just be a cyber jerk so just ignore him and he'll go away. or he will have his IP banned by hubpages and cannot comment/email you even if he's not a hubber IP banning blocks him completely from the service in any way.

        J

      4. Marisa Wright profile image92
        Marisa Wrightposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        ...and it would also reveal your email address, which would make things even worse.

        Julie - for the same reason, I would be sending any reply from some other email address!

        1. Jerrico Usher profile image59
          Jerrico Usherposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          Yea don't respond in hubpages it will show them your email addy! I sent someone an email once and started getting all sorts of friend invites to tiwtter and other services (with this persons name and face all over it literally) I don't know why hubpages doesn't make it fully anonymouse to use the email part of this service like most forum services do.

          However I realized you can change your email address in the top box to cloak your real email.. you have to do this with each mail you send out, the box can be edited, just put a useless email address (doesn't have to be real).

          Jerrico

          1. Marisa Wright profile image92
            Marisa Wrightposted 8 years ago in reply to this

            But it is anonymous!   People can send you an email, but they don't know your email address unless you reply - and you can always choose to reply from another email address if you're concerned.

            1. Jerrico Usher profile image59
              Jerrico Usherposted 8 years ago in reply to this

              I guess that's true, you could also reply just by going back to their profile and using their email thing again, just paste in their email and your reply... I do this actually never thought about it, since shalini started sending me all those emails requesting I join all those clubs of hers I stopped replying directly... (no offense shalini I think your peaches but I get enough emails wink)

              jerrico

        2. Julie-Ann Amos profile image50
          Julie-Ann Amosposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          Sorry I did miss that out.  I use another address to send those mails.  Didn't put that in the instruction set.  (I also do a different voice on the phone calls - one of the joys of being an audio recording voice, I get to do non-me voices).

          1. Jerrico Usher profile image59
            Jerrico Usherposted 8 years ago in reply to this

            If you use that service spam arrest you can sign up your accounts using one of their spoof address options you can delete the address and change it in your account if you get a stalker smile

    2. Dottie1 profile image81
      Dottie1posted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Looking good there Misha!  Please take note, I am NOT being too friendly! lol

      1. Misha profile image75
        Mishaposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        Thank you Dottie, Milla tried to do her best smile

  4. RFox profile image82
    RFoxposted 8 years ago

    Good advice Misha. smile

    Any attention whether negative or positive seems to encourage those folks.

    I had a neighbor who stalked me once, hence why my picture will never be on the internet in an open community. I gave him zero attention and I still had to move away to get rid of the guy.

    What is wrong with the world?

    1. SamurWriter profile image60
      SamurWriterposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Too much Free Will.. I bet if people had to pay for it they'd think twice about their actions huh?

  5. Misha profile image75
    Mishaposted 8 years ago

    LOL absolutely!

  6. AEvans profile image72
    AEvansposted 8 years ago

    I think know that you brought it to everyone's attention he may cool off. If you have to get him booted and flagged.

    1. AEvans profile image72
      AEvansposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Or simply tell him if your husband doesn't harm him Smith & Wesson will smile

  7. SweetiePie profile image84
    SweetiePieposted 8 years ago

    It is better to ignore this type of behavior.  I learned this on myspace long ago smile.  Responding to them just seems to fuel their behavior smile.

  8. Shadesbreath profile image89
    Shadesbreathposted 8 years ago

    If it's an attractive female that's bothering you, feel free to have her switch her attention to me.  I will look at any pictures she wants to send in the interest of butressing her self esteem etc.  I am here to help.

    1. Jerrico Usher profile image59
      Jerrico Usherposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      butressing? did you mean addressing?

      1. Shadesbreath profile image89
        Shadesbreathposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        No, I meant buttressing (just would have been funnier if I'd spelled it right - that's what I get for trying to be witty right before bed).

        1. Sally's Trove profile image97
          Sally's Troveposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          Maybe the word is bolstering?  Usually, a buttress is something you put up against a wall to keep it from falling down under pressure from above.  LOL.

  9. relache profile image86
    relacheposted 8 years ago

    You shouldn't even be posting this stuff.  Report this person to HubPages admin, and to their own ISP.

    1. Jerrico Usher profile image59
      Jerrico Usherposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      I don't think this is something she can't post, she is seeking advice from the community for a problem, she isn't the one making all the rude comments about the guy, everyone else is, She was simply asking for ideas for dealing with it and hubpages can really only tell her to ignore him and report him if he continues. I do think that this thread has lost its usefulness however and should be closed.

      Jerrico

  10. profile image0
    pgrundyposted 8 years ago

    I don't think its the internet--I think its just life. I was stalked by a former college professor for years. It finally stopped when he remarried. I reported him to the administration and everything, and amazingly, they said he had quite a file but urged me to try to understand that "he's a very trouble man--he really deserves our sympathy, not legal action."  lol!

    Yeah, right! What a creep.

    Just ignore this loser. I don't know how people get this way. It is sad, but when you are the target it's harder to be sympathetic because it's so hostile and creepy.

    1. Jerrico Usher profile image59
      Jerrico Usherposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      This is a symptom of low self esteem and having deamons in their closet. The stalking thing is a sickness that's caused by desperation to feel something they're lacking in that this person somehow, even though they are obviousely not interrested, fulfills. They rationalize your anger, your pushing them away, your restraining order, as you just not realizing something, the irony is that they think your the one who is sick!

      The victim the stalkee is cursed with having something that this person is obsessed over, be it looks, or being too nice to this person and they latched on to you thinking you meant something more than you did. (remember cable guy with jim carry?)

      It's alot like when you lose someone your in love with but can't let it go, and to the stalker they develop this sense of urgency- life or death in nature- to get whatever they assume you will give them. They don't see your negitive reaction to them they see only the possibility that they can change your mind, they don't often even realize how they are acting, and can't understand why "you" have forsaken "them". Some stalkers do so for the sole purpose of your negative reaction however so be careful, the more you push them away or reject them the stronger they seem to come.

      The thing that makes this volitile and dangerous is that once they're fixated on you nothing else matters to them, nothing is as important as winning you over, and nobody, not even you or consequences (like being put in jail) will shake them out of this trance.. It's misplaced desperation at best... Until they find another way to fulfill what it is you mean to them (even if its all a fantasy and not real) then they won't go away...

      I had a friend who had a stalker and I did a bunch of research in psychology to figure out how to deal with her, I discovered what it was this woman was so obsessed with and redirected her obsession to something less animate, it seemed to work although she returned again later, this gave me insight into what it was that triggered her stalker mentality.. It's the cable guy.. the smarter your stalker the more scary it becomes as they become dangerous if they start to lose patience with you...

      The best way to deal with it is in the first few days you know about it.. be very rude, very direct, make it clear to them you are not interrested, if you try to be nice about it and let it drag on trying to simply ignore it they will build a tollerance for your direct approach. Be nice once, then lose it on him the second time if he didn't get the hint. Then take legal action if they return the third time. The restraining order etc.. will let them know your not going to play this game.

      Remember we teach people how to treat us, if were nice too many times we teach them that with enough resistence they will get through to you, by being nice once you say look I don't want to hurt your feelings but... by being nice the second time you teach them that persistence works, by being blunt and rude the second time you teach them that your not going to be mrs nice woman anymore- BACKOFF!

      The thing to keep in mind is teach them that their persistence will only make things worse, the third time you take legal action, or do something that could scare them, each time you have to escalate your response. This actually works pretty well if you do it right, it's how I helped my friend get rid of the stalker.. They will not push if it's a hopeless case or if their actions prove more problematic than potentially helpful or rewarding. You have to defuse that you = reward.

      Jerrico

  11. Ntweetyd profile image61
    Ntweetydposted 8 years ago

    I agree that I would a) take it as a compliment...b) ignore any further comments ...c) if he does contact you again THEN i would contact hubpages and report him.
    It is sad that there at sick people out there like him.  But we are also protected from them.  We just have to take the appropriate actions to do so.
    Good luck.  You will be OK.  smile

    1. Julie-Ann Amos profile image50
      Julie-Ann Amosposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      If it gets bad and it's hitting your email inbox not just HubPages try this: - and you can also do this for phone calls (yes I was once young and glamorous enough to have stalkers of my own, oh ye of little faith!)

      Create a nice official looking "autoreply" and send it back to every mail from them - stating that

      "All emails from this sender IP address and/or email address are being referred to the [insert appropriate official body] due to reports of abusive correspondence.  Should the message be found to be legitimate, it will be forwarded to the intended recipient without further delay.  If not, it will be dealt with by the appropriate authorities.  Your IP address has been logged for future reference."

      Honestly, it works.

      I have also been known to answer my own phone with:

      "Calls to this number are being monitored for abusive action.  Please state your name, caller, and stay on the line while we ask the lineowner if they are willing to accept your call."  Click (that's them hanging up before you can say another word).

      Sheesh I'm devious sometimes!

      1. Misha profile image75
        Mishaposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        I guess you are still glamorous enough... can I be your stalker? wink

        1. Roger Rager profile image61
          Roger Ragerposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          Watch out ladies, Misha is a confirmed lesbian.

        2. Julie-Ann Amos profile image50
          Julie-Ann Amosposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          Oooh please!

      2. Dorsi profile image90
        Dorsiposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        Good ideas. I am just not going to respond to this person, and if I get another email then I will forward it to HubPages and go from there. And I didn't even think it about but yes, if I replied they would know my personal email ( although I think if anyone wants to seriously stalk someone they can get lots of information on the web for relatively cheap price)
        And the email wasn't threatening as it was just more surprising that someone would approach me like that for more pics and stuff.

      3. Jerrico Usher profile image59
        Jerrico Usherposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        WOW Your goood! That's simply brilliant. (adding to toolbox)

  12. spryte profile image88
    spryteposted 8 years ago

    Julie-Ann;

    Wonderful tips!  I love it!

    1. Julie-Ann Amos profile image50
      Julie-Ann Amosposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Sigh - I SO used to enjoy answering those phone calls!

  13. webismine profile image61
    webismineposted 8 years ago

    Great tips Julie Ann smile Such odd people deserve this kind of treatment big_smile

  14. Rangerwife profile image60
    Rangerwifeposted 8 years ago

    Does your email have the ability to block?  You might want to do that.

  15. Craig P. Gill profile image61
    Craig P. Gillposted 8 years ago

    I have had defamatory e-mails, inappropriate and/or illicit e-mails and even pictures sent to me!  I have found that an attempt to shame them into ceasing works well. I post their comments! Profile name, their comments, everything.... it brings awareness to other community members and also to the moderators. Usually does not continue after that.
    Good luck!

    1. Jerrico Usher profile image59
      Jerrico Usherposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Do you realize that a quick glance at your avatar picture doesn't look like someone holdin out their empty pocket but actually looks somewhat like something else? This may be one reason smile

  16. Len Cannon profile image86
    Len Cannonposted 8 years ago

    If I've died tomorrow, well.  This is why.

    http://i33.tinypic.com/5npvs7.jpg

    1. Dorsi profile image90
      Dorsiposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Wow you need to report that!! That's creepy!!

  17. Julie-Ann Amos profile image50
    Julie-Ann Amosposted 8 years ago

    Hey, maybe I HAVE got stalkers (other than Misha that is) - red ^ and ^^ traffic arrows all over my hubs list tonight out of the blue!

 
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