My articles needs improvement

1. 60

   El Aminsposted 6 years ago

   When ever I submitted article for publication, it wouldn't be publish, they said it need improvement but I don't think there is any thing that need to be improve in the article. Please there any one to help me on this matter.

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      greenmindposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      If you include a link to your article, we can all see it and try to help.

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      1. 60

         El Aminsposted 6 years agoin reply to this

         This is the link: https://hubpages.com/health/Chocolate-i … n-Function
         
         And also: https://hubpages.com/animals/Rearing-Ypur-Own-Rabbits

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   2. 96

      theraggededgeposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      I'll take a guess that the problem is with your English. It has to be near perfect for HubPages to consider accepting an article these days.
      
      This is from your bio: "I enjoys reading about new research and is always looking for a new historical tale."
      
      I enjoy reading new research, and am always looking for a new historical tale.
      
      Or
      
      I enjoy reading historical research.
      
      The problem with writing in a different language is that you can look at a piece of writing as much as you like, but if you don't know you are making errors, you aren't going to see them.

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         El Aminsposted 6 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you for the correction

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2. 0

   pen promulgatesposted 6 years ago

   +1

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3. 95

   Rupert Taylorposted 6 years ago

   Your request for help shows where the problem lies. Your English is not good enough for HubPages; it has to be nearly perfect.
   
   Here's you first sentence followed by my correction:
   
   "When ever I submitted article for publication, it wouldn't be publish ..."
   
   Whenever I submit an article for publication, it isn't published ..."
   
   There aren't any links to your submissions, but I suspect they will show equally poor grammar.
   
   Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

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   1. 60

      El Aminsposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for the correction.
      This is the link: https://hubpages.com/health/Chocolate-i … n-Function
      
      And also: https://hubpages.com/animals/Rearing-Ypur-Own-Rabbits

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         psycheskinnerposted 6 years agoin reply to this

         You have to use the link from the notification email Hubpages sent you--this one just takes us to the 404 error

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4. 0

   pen promulgatesposted 6 years ago

   About your chocolate article
   
   Write title in the Title Case.
   The title is too long and hard to understand. Make it easy and search friendly. Besides, your article doesn't relate much with the title.
   There are punctuation and grammatical errors throughout.
   Sentences are long and don't make sense.
   
   Some errors
   'Chocolate contains a class of flavanols, which, as already noted, are widely present in cocoa, green tea, red wine, and some fruits.'
   What do you mean by class? It's vague to understand. Simply write flavanols.
   
   Recent research has suggested that they can even provide a boost to brain function
   Vague sentence again.
   Recent research has suggested that they even provide boost to the brain to function in a better way. Or
   Recent research has suggested that they can even provide boost for the smooth functioning of the brain.
   
   wherein it seemed to slow the progression of mental decline that occurs with aging 11. What is aging11? Again and unclear sentence. Like this you have used terms like
   'review13' That a reader will know nothing about.
   Although this concept seems somewhat tentative to say the least now a seemingly more audacious assertion states that populations that consume more chocolate also produce per capita the most Nobel laureates.  It's a long sentence that doesn't make sense.
   
   There are more errors. I recommend you ready my hub 'how sentence structure will fail you in quality'
   
   Use apps like Grammarly or Hemingway to correct most of the errors.
   
   Hope these help.
   Good luck.

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      El Aminsposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you

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5. 82

   psycheskinnerposted 6 years ago

   "Chocolate contains a class of flavanols, which, as already noted, are widely present in cocoa, green tea, red wine, and some fruits."
   
   The bigger problem with this sentences is that you haven't "already noted" any such thing.  It makes me wonder if this is a spun article and the references are from the original source.

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      El Aminsposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for the contribution.

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6. 82

   psycheskinnerposted 6 years ago

   Indeed, you are extensively quoting your sources without marking the material as direct quotes--that is considered plagiarism. It is also contributing to the awkwardness of your expression as you bridge together direct quotes from diverse sources with colloquial language.

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