As a victim of a narcissist, I'd like to know how to stop being angry when peopl

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   knowingispowerposted 13 years ago

   As a victim of a narcissist, I'd like to know how to stop being angry when people lie to me?
   
   Recently I've realized that my sister is a narcissist and my parents enabled her.  My mother disliked confrontation.  It didn't matter what my sister did-she'd lie, deny and blame others.  I learned not to say anything about my sister's bad behavior.  It's taken years, but I finally realized what's been going on and my mother realizes.  I don't have room to write about all examples of her bad behavior, but she has lied, blamed me, controlled dinner parties I'm putting on, etc.  The problem now is that when someone lies or blames me for something they did, I want to yell at them; even at work.

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2. 0

   Be Pain Freeposted 13 years ago

   My #1 suggestion would be to see a talk therapist (psychologist, licensed mental health counselor). I know that this seems unfair: You're not the one with the psychological problem. Still, this is the same answer that I would give the loved one of an alcoholic. While you don't have the problem, you need the counsel of someone who has dealt with this problem. You need to know how to respond, how you can help (if this is even possible), and how to move on with your life. Your difficulty dealing with lies (a normal part of everyday interaction, though they do not compare to what your sister inflicted upon you) is a problem in and of itself, and it could use closer attention.
   
   While I wish that I could offer some help in this space, I feel that you could use the help of a trained listener. This is what good counselors are; while they may offer some advice, they will help you organize your thoughts, and realize what it is that you need to deal with. Good luck, and be kind to yourself.

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3. 44

   padmendraposted 13 years ago

   It is very difficult to deal with persons who has the impact of narcissism. Being a victim of narcissist it is better for you to start looking towards life  in a different way than before. Some or other tragedies are always found in the lives of people. However, tragedies in life are not meant to fear from stepping forward but to learn and rectify in every step.  You might find ten out of fifteen people in a day who would lie to you and yelling at them would ruin your energy, self confidence but might not harm the other in any means.

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4. 0

   goldenprince13posted 12 years ago

   Hi there, my suggestion to you would be this, i had the problem and it took me going deep within myself to find the core of what it was, i was not listened to as a small child over a traumatic experience and i carried a rage inside me most of my life, until i healed that by going deep within me and working on my self,
   
   Think back from before the Narcissistic experience you have had and look and see if you have spent you life wanting to be listened too and feeling like nobody cared enough to, as that first experience of that will be the root of all your anger,
   
   You are out of the narcissists universe now, so take this time to develop you, as something within you, has drawn that experience to you, this will ensure you can maintain your own healthy boundaries and integrity of your true self, and most of all, if you do this and give no compromise to your integrity and boundaries, you relinquish expectations of others to change, and remove them from your life for violating your boundaries,
   
   As you are worth much more than to ever compromise with someone who will not respect your boundaries and integrity, but if you allow them to breach them and not tell them to leave your life, you are sending a message you do not value you yourself enough, you cannot ever expect anyone else to either, and will draw more experiences like the Narcissist to you,
   
   Learn to truly appreciate who you are, and maintain those healthy boundaries and the integrity of your body, mind and soul, as then you can value yourself without needing others to validate that , and enjoy a fulfilling life with those around who truly care,love and respect you, that is my advice, hope it is helpful in some way .
   
   Please read my new article the perfect narcissistic world on my hub and see if anything resonates with you.
   
   take care

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