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An Uncomfortable Look at What Becomes of Victims of Childhood Bullying

  1. Say Yes To Life profile image86
    Say Yes To Lifeposted 3 years ago

    So often today, we hear of mass shootings at school or work and wonder why it happens.  I happen to know first hand, because last year, I talked my cousin out of it.
    He is what many people would refer to as a "loser".  He flunked out of college, in spite of making decent grades in high school and getting scholarships.  Since then, he has spent the past 30 - plus years bouncing around from one low-wage job to another.  Obviously, he can't make much money doing this.  He tries to be responsible, but it hasn't added up to much.  He has a little savings, but huge debts.  He bought a house in a cheap (and crime-infested) section of Miami, but had to take out a HELOC and therefore owes more on the house now than when he bought it 10 years ago.
    No one admits to this, but I strongly believe it's because he was bullied as a child.  He came from a fractured home, and wasn't allowed to stand up for himself there or at school.  It's common for people to believe bullying is just a phase kids grow out of, but in his case, it continued into college and the workplace.  The reason he nearly "went postal" is because at the last place where he worked, as a lab technician, he was unjustly framed for a drug bust and was arrested as a result (this is someone who doesn't even drink!).
    With the help of psychiatrists and paralegals, he was able to clear his record and is now on disability.  He is able to continue payments on his house, but now lives an extremely restricted lifestyle in a place he hates.  Plus if anything else goes wrong, he'll really be screwed.
    We talked over the weekend.  It turns out there's a possibility he may be able to do some work on disability, as long as he doesn't earn over a certain amount.  He is considering foreclosing on the house and working on a ranch in the Rockies. Except how does he know he won't be bullied there, too?  Sure, some of the work is solitary, and he'll be doing it for fun, but that's no guarantee.
    Apparently, some people just put out a certain vibe that attracts bullies.  What can be done about this???

    1. 0
      Beth37posted 3 years ago in reply to this

      Don't you think teachers and other adults can be a huge help in this area when they see someone being bullied? Bringing it to the attention of school admin and the parents of both parties?

      1. Say Yes To Life profile image86
        Say Yes To Lifeposted 3 years ago in reply to this

        Of course, but all to often, no one cares.  If a kid gets ganged up on, they're not going to suspend a whole bunch of kids just to protect one.

    2. Say Yes To Life profile image86
      Say Yes To Lifeposted 3 years ago in reply to this

      I just found this link:  I believe it supports what I think:
      http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/10/08/bu … h.effects/
      It mentions a man with a Business degree who can't hold a job.  I find it VERY insightful!  Please check this out, and comment!

    3. 0
      Dave36posted 2 years ago in reply to this

      This is something i feel strongly about as when i was young i was bullied, & then later on became a bully & i din't like being either....Now i'm totally neutral, & always in control of my emotions etc....I neither get bullied or bully people myself anymore, as i see a bully for what it is.....A bully or person who brings someone down/insults them/name calls etc, is someone who has a low self worth or is having personal problems in their own life, or at least is having a very bad day.....This is "always" the case, as a normal happy person would never feel the need to bully someone.....You should actually feel some empathy for a bully, as their obviously suffering themselves....It is true what you say about putting out a weak vibe, so tell your buddy if he doesn't like it.....He could get fit & get strong & do some kickboxing etc, that will give him a massive boost to his confidence....As far as being a loser, compared to who?.....All that's ever been wrong with your friend is he probably can't find his calling if you like, he has to find that answer inside him by asking it.....Just tell him to see where he wants to be in 6 months time mentally/physically/emotionally & financially, then write down a plan & do it. :-)