Where Do Missing Socks Go?
MISSING SINCE OCTOBER 2010
Can They Find Their Way Home?
In this investigative report, we will explore a serious issue: where do missing socks go?
It has happened to everyone. You do a load of laundry. You wash and then dry. When you go to fold the laundry, you no longer have a pair of socks. You just have one lonesome sock. Where did its partner go? You look everywhere. You retrace your steps. You go back to the washer, back to the dryer, scope out the floors, look in the laundry basket - but no sock. Where did it go?
This can be a desperate situation. Studies have shown, if the missing sock does not reappear within the first 24 hours, your chances of finding that sock decrease by 75%. OK, I just made that up, but whatever. You probably aren't going to find that sock. Let's attempt to solve this mystery.
The First 24 Hours Are Crucial
The best strategy in a crisis situation such as this one is to think like a sock. Please imagine: "If I were a sock, where would I go?" Would you go behind the dryer or get stuck in the sleeve of a sweatshirt? Maybe. But what if your sock is a rebel? Maybe your sock was tired of being part of a pair. Maybe your sock had bigger dreams. Perhaps the other twin sock was holding that sock back. Maybe your missing sock had an opportunity to leave and your sock took that opportunity!
You must consider the possibility that your sock is now living the good life elsewhere. Yes, your sock is famous now. Your sock is now part of the local sock puppet theater! It happens all the time. Your renegade sock was tired of being confined to the sock drawer or being put on your foot. Eww! Would you want to do that? Imagine being worn on a foot all day! Imagine being forced into uncomfortable shoes all the time! What kind of life is that? Can you blame your beloved sock for leaving you and the other sock? Of course not! That sock is living a dream now!
The bottom line is, if you do not find that sock within that 24 hour window, your chances are slim to none that you are bringing that baby back. Once that sock has a taste of freedom, it is impossible to make that sock live such a boring and disgusting existence.
Such a Sad Sock
Of course, not everyone buys into the rebel sock theory. Yes, there are always doubters when an incredible new idea emerges. Your friends, family, and neighbors, they will probably tell you not to give up. They will tell you encouraging phrases like: "Maybe that sock ended up wrapped in a set of sheets in the back of your linen closet. Maybe that sock is under the dryer. Maybe your pet grabbed a sock out of the basket and they are using it as a chew toy." The list can go on and on.
Some people must live in denial. You can't blame these people; they mean well and they are only trying to help. There is nothing wrong with keeping the hope alive. But I know the truth. Now so do you!
Even More Ridiculous Stuff...
- A Kitchen Mystery: What's that Smell?
Do you ever come home and find something is just not right in the kitchen? There is an odor so bad you think your hair might fall out. Let's explore some potential reasons behind this.
- How To Hunt For Ghosts At The Office During Your Dow...
A lot of people would like to learn how to ghost hunt. Unfortunately, many of us work all day long and don't have the time. Learn how to combine the two activities by hunting for ghosts at the office!
- How to Battle the Closet Monster
Take an insane journey with me as I explain how to battle the closet monster. Forget about the zombie apocalypse; the real threat is at home in your closet.
- Let's Put an End to Zombie Prejudice
Many people will tell you a zombie apocalypse is coming. I will tell you it can be avoided if we end zombie prejudice right now. Don't just hate a zombie because he is gross and decaying - zombie prejudice is wrong!
Buy Some More Socks!
More by this Author
Every now and then you need to be entertained at your apartment. What better way to do that than torturing your neighbors?
Sometimes we change in life... we become something terrible... someone we never wanted to be... a party pooper! You'd better read this list to see if you've become a party pooper.
Since leggings are so popular, you certainly don't want to be left out. Read more about the proper way to wear leggings so you don't find yourself committing a crime of fashion. No one likes to see leggings abuse.