Revenge, Inc. Part 20: A Short Story

Author's Note

Hello everyone and welcome back. In accordance to your many responses from last week's installment, I know that you're all anxious to find out what will happen this week and maybe if I ever quit yapping, you'll find out very soon. Or maybe you skipped this portion entirely to get right to the plot. So, if you are still here and reading this (like you should be!) then I applaud you and ask you to please be patient with the unraveling of our story. I'm sure that you have a dozen questions that need answering. I put a great deal of thought into the next installments--most of it over four months ago--and implore you (good word, big guy) to place your trust in me. Everything happens for a reason, I assure you. So if you threaten to stick a katana in me, then I'll know why! In response, I'll then direct you to come and read this opening and then maybe you'll think twice (hopefully). I thank you for reading me as always and believe me, we're closer than ever to the end of this so called "Short Story." You'll also discover while reading this, Cody's last name for the very first time. Weird as it may be I conveniently never made mention of it before!

-ODP

And as always, if you are in fact new to this series, I ask you to please begin with Part One to get acquainted with its characters and plot line. Thanks for stopping in.

Revenge, Inc. Part 1

Revenge, Inc. Part 2

Revenge, Inc. Part 3

Revenge, Inc. Part 4

Revenge, Inc. Part 5

Revenge, Inc. Part 6

Revenge, Inc. Part 7

Revenge, Inc. Part 8

Revenge, Inc. Part 9

Revenge, Inc. Part 10

Revenge, Inc. Part 11

Revenge, Inc. Part 12

Revenge, Inc. Part 13

Revenge, Inc. Part 14

Revenge, Inc. Part 15

Revenge, Inc. Part 16

Revenge, Inc. Part 17

Revenge, Inc. Part 18

Revenge, Inc. Part 19

Thank you for reading me. It means a lot that you're here.

Distant Thunder

We were completely taken by surprise. The mystery of whereabouts of Ritsuko was finally solved. He and a few from his clan managed to escape just in time. With all that was going on, I had no way of knowing whether or not Katsuro got to him first. Of the Four Demons of Legend, the oyabans, Jubei and Matsaka were dead, but Jin and the demon head Tetsuo, Ritsuko’s father, was nowhere to be found, that is until now. It was a shock to us all to find that the circle was not yet closed.

In my mind’s eye, I can still see everything at half-speed: Ritsuko smiling as he’s firing his revolver, the look of surprise from Katsuro, the speed of Natsumi to shield him with her heart…There I stood frozen and reacted by yelling out ”NATSUMI!” as the weight of the entire world crumbled down around me. Natsumi lay motionless on the sidewalk as Ritsuko darted away toward a chauffeured black Mercedes which no doubt housed his father. Katsuro wasted no time. He went after Ritsuko with his katana in hand and just before Ritsuko climbed inside, his head had come loose. It rolled four times and stopped only a few feet away from where Natsumi lay. The Mercedes sped away, taking with it the headless body of Ritsuko and for the moment, Katsuro gave up his pursuit. He then turned to find me tending to Natsumi who was trying to speak but couldn’t manage a single word. She reached up and held my face for as long as her eyes could stay open. Her hand then fell and the world around me was engulfed in intermittent darkness. When Katsuro returned from his pursuit, he got down on his hands and knees with me and held her other hand. The two of stayed for a time holding her there from the light of what used to be the Kosuke Lucky Fish Market in silent mourning.

Salvation

An entire week had come and gone since Natsumi’s passing. Both Katsuro and I fled the scene before the Kyoto Police to survey the chaos. With me carrying Natsumi’s and Katsuro holding the Ritsuko’s head, we reached a cottage outside of Kyoto that from the looks of it was vacated long ago and was covered in thick dust. As soon as we were settled in, Katsuro left me and Natsumi in the main room and disappeared for a time. My guess was that he needed some time to mourn Natsumi, or maybe he wanted for me to have my time to mourn her privately. The pain was tremendous. My eyes were blurred upon seeing her time and again. And for a time, Katsuro and I didn’t talk to one another. When the both of us were ready, we gathered the kindling and made for her the last bed she would ever lie upon and each said a prayer. Each of us slept for two days afterwards and our lives were spent in perpetual silence, coming together only for meals which we took turns making. I think that both us wanted to talk to one another, yet neither of us had the courage to initiate it, until the seventh day that is. Katsuro wanted for me to leave.

“I have a friend who is a pilot,” Katsuro said to me. “You will go to Konsai Airport tonight and meet him there. His name is Han and he can be trusted. I made all of the necessary arrangements. He will be there waiting for you.” He didn’t have to tell me where I was going as I already knew.

“What will you do?” I asked him.

“I’m not sure. Those demons are still out there. Tetsuo and Jin are still around and are hiding. That cannot be ignored…” He then looked at me and shook his head. “I don’t want your apology, Marak. I don’t need it and you have nothing to be sorry for. I just want you to leave and to never come back again. Do you understand?” I gave him a nod. “Natsumi was not only my sister, she was my twin-sister. You wouldn’t understand the pain I went through when she fell. We can feel each other’s feelings and that is something you will never know. Your time here in Kyoto and the Watanabe Clan is over. A new chapter must begin for you, brother.” Katsuro then placed his hand on my shoulder and smiled. Never before had I seen his eyes to be so shiny. He then stood up and left me there alone with my thoughts.

And that was the last time I saw Katsuro.

A Song for Natsumi

I can feel it again, the old treacherous feelings of loss, now three times over. I can still remember seeing you for the very first time as you were bathing underneath that waterfall, picture perfect. You’re long onyx hair glistened in the sunlight, flowing straight down and just covered the small of your back. I’ll never forget how you turned to meet me. Your smile was more than welcoming and nothing short of exquisite. You see, your late father told me to go and seek you and that’s exactly what I did. I apologized to you then for seeing you there that way, but you didn’t accept my apology, feeling it wasn’t necessary. The crazy thing was that you didn’t mind that I was watching which, for the most part, threw out my notion that Japanese girls were somewhat shy—that was until I met you. You were rare in the best possible way Natsumi. The rarest flowers are indeed the most beautiful of all. So from that point on, I fought like hell to resist you—to escape your eyes and lips and to continue on with my training. Your father, the wisest man I’ve ever had the honor to meet, certainly knew this because he pulled me aside and told me so in the most subtle of ways. “Wait, Cody-san. Wait.”

You were a combination of lover and soldier; a mixture of two very contradicting forces, but fierce nevertheless in each role. I thanked the heavens I finally found you after so many years of not finding anyone else outside of losing Adrianna, the only woman I loved before meeting you. I may have lost both my wife and daughter but were it not so, I never would have met you. I would’ve never known the appreciation of such a stranger in the strangest of lands. In sailing with you from Jirai to Kyoto, I got my very first taste of rejection from you , Natsumi, but that was only temporary. But now you’re gone. No longer can I touch your face or hear your voice, or feel the warmth of your soft skin.

Now, I can understand something about family and dying for the person I love. Now more than ever, I can understand that. You sacrificed yourself for Katsuro. You once saved me from death too on Jirai, from the shuriken attack—I haven’t forgotten that, Natsumi. Not for as long as I’m alive will I ever forget, because are we not defined by our actions? Yours was as selfless as they come.

I can still feel you, as ever and always you will live inside me: Your sensuality for another and your defense in the name of those you love…That can’t and won’t be denied. Both are your weapons that will only sharpen with the passing of time. You will continue to inspire me in my journey. You will remain beautiful for all time, Natsumi. In leaving, I take with me our joy of the time spent with each other and the memories of us. You are my beautiful summer eternal.

The Long Journey Home

It’s not that I’d forgotten why I landed on Jirai Island in the first place which of course brought me to Kyoto. I didn’t forget why it was that I had to disappear from Valhalla, as Cody MacLaren; deceased father of a recently deceased daughter of fourteen named Haley Adrianna MacLaren who was raped and murdered. Her mother, Adrianna Marie Aberdeen MacLaren, died giving birth to her. One could say that Adrianna gave her life for her only daughter—the only child she’d ever give birth to—by cashing-in on her own life as a part of some Deal with Death who perhaps told her to make the Ultimate Choice. What a sad, sad story…

And the father of this sad story kills himself because death is just too enticing, because he’s just too goddamn unstable to go on, because he just can’t help himself while living with such horrible memories. Losing his young and beautiful wife was one thing. Although it was unfortunate, it was natural occurrence. But losing his teenage daughter in that way? Certainly everyone has a breaking point and Cody MacLaren from Valhalla sure as hell found his. In the story leading up to his suicide, he finds an escape from bottle upon bottle of Cutty Sark or Johnnie Walker for those special occasions, or whatever the fuck else was on sale because let’s face it, he really couldn’t afford much on his blue-collar salary. So in his journey to escape this cruel and bitter world, he tightens the noose just a bit too tightly and just hangs from the beam of his ceiling for just a bit too long, and when he goes to regain his footing on his dining room chair, he instead kicks it over and so is fucked.. Aint’ that a bitch?

So Carl from accounting, who frequents Paisano’s Café and always has a gin martini after work, when learning of this “tragedy” can only shake his head and say to Gino, their bartender,

”What a damn shame, huh? Cody MacLaren. He was one of us, you know that, Gino? Just like any one of us. He always came by with a funny thing to say to all of us. Nothing so bad could’ve happened to someone so good.” And then he’ll push one back and hang his head a bit to show his displeasure, to show grief and pain of loss and sorrow because it’s expected by everyone around. And out of respect, he’ll order another one and raise his triangular glass; he’ll raise it up high in the air and say to all who cared to listen,

“This one’s for you sport. May you rest in peace, Cody MacLaren.”

“TO CODY!” The rest of the regulars at Paisano’s would say in unison and tilt their heads back. It’s times like these that makes each of them wonder: What the fuck is this world coming to?

I want to kill that invisible enemy. I want to kill that awful memory…The death of Natsumi is my reminder of Haley, of unfinished business in Valhalla. Of innocence lost and vengeance found. And you can place your empathetic hand upon my shoulder and sit me down and try to talk some sense into me and tell me that it’s wrong to kill, that it’s wrong to exact revenge on those who trespass against us and that the Lord is watching and that the Lord has a plan…And I’ll say to you, ‘Now what the fuck plan would that be? To take everything I love from this world in the cruelest manner possible? How can He possibly let this happen in His Paradise? And tell me this—What if it was your daughter that was violated and slain? It’s easy for you to just sit there, Father, and tell me all of these things from some one-thousand year old book. Trust God? No, I refuse. I trust my ears to hear and my eyes to see and what I now see is the evil of men, who can’t keep their fucking hands to themselves. Such men don’t deserve to live. I’m going to make damn sure of that.’

Continue reading...

© Copyright 2010. All Rights Reserved.

Konsai Airport
Konsai Airport

More by this Author

  • If I Had Wings: A Short Story
    84

    My family and I came to America right after Jimmy Carter left office. My first American memory arrived at John F. Kennedy airport, where we landed. It was cold in America, I remembered that very well. What I...

  • Blue Fish : A Short Story
    46

    The following short story is a recount of growing up as an Amerasian in Westchester, New York in the 1980's. I'm dedicating this story to my father, Khamfone who's hope for a bright future for me is unfaltering.

  • Book Review: The Sneetches By Dr. Seuss
    125

    The Sneetches are a group of yellow bird-like creatures that live on a beach in a far away land. And on this beach there are two types of Sneetches: One type with green stars on their bellies and one type without. The...


Comments 42 comments

Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 6 years ago from United States

OMG, I can't believe how fast tragic things are happening, losing the love of your life, then Katsuro running holding the head of someone that was alive a few minutes ago. I can't imagine what it next when there has been another tragic murder. I can hardly wait for th3e next chapter. Great story.


Kaie Arwen profile image

Kaie Arwen 6 years ago

Nice job............ gets more interesting all of the time!

Be proud of yourself............ you're doing great work here!

Kaie


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

This is exactly the feedback that I was hoping for Pamela! Thank you so much for being the first to respond, as after I wrote this installment, I was checking my comments every hour on the hour via my smartphone. I hope I don't let you down!


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thank you, Kaie :D It's wonderful to hear such amazing comments while writing this (did I ever mention that it's tough?). Until next time?


Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 6 years ago from India

Tragic, Dohn! You've carried us so well through the story that one can't help but share the pain of Natsumi's passing. The Song for Natsumi is heartbreaking!


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

I really am surprised that I've gotten this far. I must admit, I did try to put a cliffhanger at the end of each installment to keep you guys tuning in the following week and what can I say--it worked (in accordance to the many page views). I thought about the Song for Natsumi this entire week and only today was I able to put on paper/hub, lol.

Thanks so much for catching up, Shalini. It's always wonderful to hear from you.


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US

Oh Dohn, this is so sweet about that Song for Natsumi -- what happened to a man if the people they most love died in a manner that is "catastrophic" in nature, death is still death --

Thats why I can understand the feeling of CODY -- his thoughts about suicide, vengeance and the existence of GOD, for if GOD does truly exist, why does HE allow these hings to happen????

I like all the names here, Adrianna Marie is a favorite name of mine, Haley Adrianna is a nice combination as well, Natsumi is kind of sweet yet strong inside kind of name..

I applaud you for your choice of names, not because I like them all as well as Cody Maclaren, but the names of the women stir some kind of magical feeling in me specially Adrianna.

All in all, I give you ten again in a scale of ten, for stirring the emotions so vivid and the emotions it stirred among us, (you know when you can almost feel the emotions in the character and you know your into it) the killing of Natsumi is very fast, yet the memories and the feelings it will leave is sure to leave a scar and that vengeance is an option, Let us see, i am excited to see the next installment

Thank you so much Dohn, Happy weekend, No more football, huhu,

(OMG this is very long sorry) Maita


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thank you, Maita. This was not easy to write on so many levels. Killing off one's heroines is a tough ordeal. I liked Natsumi's character very much, but to feed into what will come next, her death is very, very important for the story. In time it will make sense. So far, no one has personally threatened my life for killing her off. I guess that time will indeed tell as to what responses it will receive.

The question of God and His Plan comes very much into play into this story. I really wanted to express that in this story. I've play with it a bit and finally think that I got it right...But I don't want to say too much. Much more to come!

I'm glad that you liked the names. They are indeed important. Just for you, I'll tell you right now that the name "Natsumi" translated indeed means "beautiful summer." When I was online searching for names, I came across her's and thought, geez, I gotta use this. It's perfect. All of these names have meanings, I assure you. MacLaren is the name of the clan that helped Robert the Bruce win back Scotland's independence from the English. The list goes on...I'm so glad that you do like them. Oh, Haley is the name that my sister wants to name her daughter if and when she does have one. She's currently undergoing in-vitro.

I think that the most tragic of deaths happen that way. It comes tragically and without warning. I planned that scene for weeks, but only sat down to write it yesterday for the very first time. My imagination bounces around like a pinball in a well, pinball machine :D

No, this isn't long. I'm glad that you said what you did. We could probably start a forum thread on this story alone...Maybe I will once I'm finished (hint).

Thanks Maita as always. Your thoughts are always welcomed, no matter how long or short they may be :D

Dohn


Keira7 6 years ago

Hello my dear lovely friend Dohn, so sorry for the delay, i was away on a wonderful weekend. Anyway lets be serious again, your story is hanted me. I always have to come and read it, no matter what. Even my husband was curious to come and see, what was the hurry. So now is reading it too. I know is going to love it. You should do it in book and publish it. I think you will do very well, and I will be your first customer. As I always told you, I love your writing. I cant wait for the end, but I also dont want to see the end. Its a very strange feelling.. Maybe I am not normal.:) Thank you for the journey my dear Dohn. Always enjoy reading your great work. Bless you bro.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

You are never late, Keira7! I think it's awesome that your husband got bit by the Revenge bug! Let me know what he thinks. I really hope that this does become a book one day. Of course, I will have to go back and do a bit of editing before I do--it is the first draft! You're comments are really amazing Kiera7 and I always appreciate hearing from you. I couldn't ask for anything more than from anyone. Thank you so much my good friend! I'm glad that you enjoy your brief vacation (vacations are always too brief, aren't they?).


juneaukid profile image

juneaukid 6 years ago from Denver, Colorado

This story of tragic death and sorrow and its song for Natsumi was very moving indeed.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thank you, juneaukid. I feel as if I have to apologize for killing her off. I hope that in the next few (and concluding) installments, I can justify it. Thanks for reading as always.


Paradise7 profile image

Paradise7 6 years ago from Upstate New York

This was a very moving and well done part in this series. Congratulations! You've got the material for a book here, for sure!


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago

I really like the very emotional speech at the end of this installment. I'll be tuning in for the next one.


akirchner profile image

akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon

I am going to have to go now and read all the other installments! Great writing but I could not help myself from reading and I never jump to the end of the book!


Truth From Truth profile image

Truth From Truth 6 years ago from Michigan

Incerdible work Dohn, The pace is smooth and fast. The story is revealing so much along the journey. When you make the reader disappointed that a charter dies, you have truly connected them to the story. Thanks so much for sharing.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thank you Paradise7. Yes, I'm certainly waist-deep now! I'm almost finished with this series. I can't believe I got this far. I honestly had no intention for this to become what it is today. Were it not for my friend Useful Knowledge, I don't think I would've continued! Thanks as always.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thank you so much, Tammy. I really got into the mind of Cody with that one, including getting into his "previous" life so to show to the reader. I'm really glad you liked it. Thanks as always.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Hey, akirchner. I'm so happy to see you over here. It looks like curiosity got the better of you! I really hope that you do follow this story. I hope your not disappointed with what you find ;) Thank you for stopping in!


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thanks so much, TFT. I'm so happy to see that you're still following this story, my friend. That really is such a great compliment. Thank you!


Justine76 6 years ago

Stop talking about how its alomost over!..Im going to be so bummed. ;) So I said out loud, real loud..I KNEW IT!!!(I mean really, no way could Marak have survived if Natsumi lived) and woke my youngest daughter up..oops. I agree with Maita about the names, they are important to the story. You did choose well. Robert the Bruce, huh? I knew it sounded familar but wouldn't have figured it out unless you mentioned it. Well, I hope your havig fun with it too.

I know its not been easy, but you are doing a fantastic job. Goood luck and best wishes for your sister and the future Haley!

oh yeah, the picture of the flowers is one of my favourites so far. Its perfect in its lighting, coloring, and placement in the story. Nice.


emievil profile image

emievil 6 years ago from Philippines

Darn, am late again. I'm currently in an out of town trip and I haven't really gone online that much for the past 2 days. No wonder I was in a hurry to log in tonight (it's 12 midnight here). So sad about Natsumi. I hope her sacrifice will not be wasted :(. So Cody is back eh. Goody! Do we get some action again? :). By the way, I had to smile when I read about Carl "the accountant". :) Don't know why, it just made me smile. Till the next installment Dohn. See yah.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Ha! Yeah, I don't really want this story to end either, DM. Keep your voice down, will ya? I really liked the nam MacLaren and so went to look it up and that was what I found (like most guys, I loved Braveheart). I am having fun writing this and so don't want it to end, really.

Thanks so much for the comment. No matter where I decide to end this story, I'm sure that there will be some that will be upset and think it too short (hint). I just hope that you'll like it still when after it's over :D

Thanks as always, sweetie.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

I love it, Emie! To hear that you and others actually make a break for your PCs so you can read this is so good to hear. I think I'd be doing the very same thing were it me in the reader's chair rather than the writer's. Sorry about Natsumi and no, her death will not be in vain. Ha! Carl the accountant :D I almost forgot that your a numbers cruncher! No wonder your running around with your head cut off (like Ritsuko?). Til next time, buddy!


Justine76 6 years ago

Of course Ill love it. Im always sad when a story is over. Its your story, only you can say how it goes. Im realy happy your enjoyig it desptie the hard work. ;)


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

I guess that some of the best things are unexpected. I didn't "expect" to have gotten this far. Neither did I "expect" that this would turn into a full novel. This isn't something that I'd normally write as there is way too much competition out there. Perhaps I can change the world the way the Watchman did so many years ago. I really appreciate that, DM. Thank you.


cosette 6 years ago

i knew it! oh Natsumi...she was that perfect flower, just like those cherry blossoms. you made me get all misty-eyed this time ;_;

i have a bad feeling. you know, like maybe Cody is telling this story from somewhere not of this Earth. i can't believe how this story has me in its clutches.

mighty writing, what can i say...


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK

I'd been saving this Hub to read when I was very relaxed. I had seen it published but really wanted to settle into it as usual with a coffee and slice of cake. The cake didn't go down well...

I'm so sad. A part of me thought maybe this chapter was a draft and maybe you'd re-write it. Cody went through so much, the masters training etc and then lost Natsumi.

Oh dear... Well (big sigh) It was a fabulous story but I remember reading at the beginning you wrote "all things happen for a reason". Could it be something personal to you? I thought.

Cheers Dohn. Thanks for taking the time to write and share with us. A sacrifice I believe you will be rewarded for. You are a great writer.

Best Wishes.

See, I'm rambling on getting all emotional cos of the end of that story.....

Cheers Dohn.


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US

Dohn, That explains about the names, now I understand, -- I was just watching the replays of Braveheart the other day, repeat at TNT LOL<

If ever I will have a child I will name it Adrianna Natsumi, Japanese and Spanish and at the same time attuned with the "beauty of summer". I have a daughter named Alexandra, and another one will be good LOL<

Hmmm I think you already have the story here -- I am excited for the next ch., Thank you Dohn, Maita


Enelle Lamb profile image

Enelle Lamb 6 years ago from Canada's 'California'

Ya gotta feel sorry for Marak - he just doesn't have any luck with the girls!

Great story dohn! Looking forward to the next installment :)


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thanks, cosette. You know, I got this talent for making women cry, I swear! Sorry for that buddy (or not?). To hear any reaction from my readers is always awesome. Now about Marak...I didn't look at it that way. Just wait and see I guess :)


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

You know, Elena. I was kind of wondering where you were. I was curious to know your reaction and now finally I got it. I just knew that you'd be upset by this turn of events and for that, I apologize. I know just how much you liked her character. Rest assured, there is more on the horizon and with what you find, I hope that I can justify all these actions. I can't argue with ANYTHING you said. I applaud you for reading this and sticking to. It meas a heck of a lot to me.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Hey, Maita. I just picked MacLaren because I liked the name, but when I did some research, I found that it was a clan name and that it lent to much significance to Robert the Bruce (i.e. Braveheart). So for the most part, it was mere coincidence. Weird, huh?

Wow, it would be an honor if you did that! I know a couple of book lovers that named their sons and daughters after characters from some of their favorite books. It would be a privilege if you did that! Thank you.

Yes, yes. More to come :D


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Hey, Enelle. You know, I feel so guilty because I got through about half of your series and have yet to complete it. I apologize for not getting back to it very soon. I really appreciate that you came over here to read this and that you are still following this serial. Shame about Marak, but will he be vindicated? Time will tell perhaps ;)


Cris A profile image

Cris A 6 years ago from Manila, Philippines

I can taste sweet revenge in my tongue. I've fastened my seat belt and oh so ready for the ride to hell and back! And yes, there's pressure for you to deliver us from the tenterhooks you've put us on from the get go! Ha! And have I told you I envy your storytelling gift greatly? Life is so unfair! LOL

:D


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Ha! That's awesome, Cris. Yes, Revenge is in my heart. I wanted to show the dynamic of Cody/Marak, between love and hate in this installment. Hopefully, I achieved that. I certainly hoped that I'd raise the bar and I'll be damned (not to mention shot) if I back out now! No way Jose. Not me :D Stop flattering me! But thanks anyway, big guy :)


ralwus 6 years ago

Sentimentality can kill good writing, but I guess it is fitting, the Song. I am surprised you killed off the one we all fell in love with, not a good choice, but I am sure you have a plan.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Yes, yes, I do have a plan--one that I've had since about a month into writing this. It made sense and was, for the most part, organic so I'm sticking with it. Cody's got a lot of heart not to mention anger. Sentimentality is his greatest strength. Thanks again, Charles.


valeriebelew profile image

valeriebelew 6 years ago from Metro Atlanta, GA, USA

This was the saddest of chapters, and caught me off guard. I did not expect Nansumi to die. Guess I lost track of why Cody was learning ninja in the first place. I feel as cut off as Cody must feel. Will be interesting to see where he goes from here. (: v


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

This was definitely sad and very difficult to write may I add, as I killed off a character I truly admired. But I'm not the only one that was saddened by her passing. The comments here speak for themselves! I can't believe how much you've read already, Valerie. You're almost caught up!


valeriebelew profile image

valeriebelew 6 years ago from Metro Atlanta, GA, USA

I accidently missed the chapter before this one, and had to go back today and read it. Now I will move on to the next.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

No problem. I look forward to hearing what you have to say. Thank you.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working