- HubPages»
- Books, Literature, and Writing»
- Commercial & Creative Writing»
- Creative Writing
Revenge, Inc. Part 2: A Short Story
Author's Note: I really was pleasantly surprised by the responses the very first installment of Revenge, Inc.garnered and did not think it as the first in a series as I intended it to be a stand-alone short story. However, through the urgings of some of my friends and fans right here at Hubpages, I was inspired to continue forward with this story. Until I see a major drop in traffic and an obvious disdain for this series, I'll continue on with this serial. Thank you for your readership.
With that said, if you have not yet read the first installment of Revenge, Inc. please click here as it will redirect you to that Hub.
Revenge, Inc. Part 2
“Marak? It’s me, Peter…”
I couldn’t believe it. I was about ready to die just a moment ago. I lowered my katana and placed it back into its sheath and let him in. Peter Billingsly. How the hell did I forget? If I didn’t come back tonight at this time, I would have missed him and he probably would’ve been killed in the process of just hanging out here. Guys dressed like Peter don’t last very long here—perhaps as long as it takes for a news van to arrive, which is half the time it takes for an ambulance to arrive and you can forget about the damn cops. They only come out when it’s safe, which is never.
“Did you forget about me?” Peter said while closing the door behind him. “You’re late.” I nodded.
“Yeah, something like that. I had to pay a visit my father. Were you followed?”
“No. And yes, I’m positive.”
“Whatcha’ got?”
“You’re not going to like it.”
“I don’t like anything you give me, you know that.”
“Geez, you got a bathroom in here? I’m a racehorse.”
“Climb out that window and out onto the fire escape—the roof.”
“You got a bathroom on the roof?”
“No.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Never.”
“You know what? Forget it. I’ll hold it in.” I was flipping through the criminal files. Peter was good for that. Thank god I saved his ass in the third grade back when. He’s got a brother-in-law now on the “Other Side,” which is what you know as The Law.
“Who’s this guy and what’s with the shocked-eye? There’s just his profile page and nothing else.”
“Shit. It’s missing. I should have checked before coming…He wants to meet you, you know.” I looked up at him.
“Who? This dirt bag?”
“No, Freddy…My brother-in-law.”
“Well, then it’s gotta be here on my turf with you and on my terms.”
“He won’t like that.”
“Wait until he meets me.”
“You know, I told him the exact same thing.”
“Then he’ll understand. If he and his buddies did things properly, we wouldn’t have to meet. You set it up.” I handed him back his files.
“That’s it? You got everything need?”
“And then some. I can remember, remember?”
“Right, just not tonight.”
“Tonight was an exception.”
“Do you
need some help?” He reached for his the inside of his trench coat.
“No, I’ll get by.”
“Listen, don’t tell Caroline but take this.” Peter handed me a key from his leather-gloved hand.
“What’s this?”
“Sanctuary. 441 Townsend. I just bought it and told Caroline that it’s a future investment.”
“Really? In this fucked economy?”
“Hey, she believed me. You’ll find soap, food, clean clothes, and some razors…Shave that shit, huh?”
“All right, but I’m not going to live there.”
“No, I didn’t think you would. That’s why I’m giving you the key. So don’t say shit.” He didn't want me to thank him.
“I wasn’t going to.”
“Right. Well, next week then?”
“Next week. Bring Freddy.”
Peter then left the way he came. I have a problem with saying thank you to anyone. It must be that I’m not thankful for anything, or that I’m thankless or absolutely “ungrateful,” just like my father says. But about Peter Billingsley…Safe to say he’s the only person I can trust aside from my one-sided father. I’m not sure where the hell I’d be without him. But it wasn’t always like this. No. He needed me much more than I needed him, because beginning in the third grade and all throughout grammar school, middle school and high school, Peter got picked on—that is until I came along.
It just so happens that he had a problem standing up for him self, so after meetin’ me, he realized that he didn’t have to. I didn’t mind helping him either, so I guess that’s why he doesn’t mind helping me out now, or during the time when after I lost Adrianna after Haley was born. Adrianna had taken in a deep breath and smiled and never woke up. And only for a moment, I thought she was just tired from the delivery and all and so needed some rest, until the entire delivery room went into a complete uproar of sorts, with the Doc Greenwood shouting out orders and I stepped aside with my thumb up my ass not knowing what to do but watch helplessly as they tried without any success to bring Adrianna back to me—back to Haley and me. Haley’s birthday was Adrianna’s death day. And Haley’s cries were awful and I can hear her still, as if in pain from losing her mother who she never ever get to know.
So I did the best I could with what I had and mind you, I didn’t have much. I was a fucking idiot when it came to diapers and formula and teething—it was just around the time I met Jessica who knew a bit more about it than I did, who came to me ( now that I think about it) after some pity for me and Haley. I think she split after hearing me gripe about Adrianna one too many times and so quit after realizing that I’d never give up loving Adrianna no matter what. I remember bathing poor little Haley in our bathroom sink and wasn’t sure how to do it, about whether or not to put my hands between her tiny little thighs and got all embarrassed about it to no one in particular as I was afraid that God himself would smite me right on the spot for touching my own daughter ‘down there.’ And I remember breaking down and my own tears then, falling from me as I couldn’t help it anymore and falling to my knees right there in my own bathroom while Haley enjoyed herself in her little makeshift bathtub talking baby talk to herself.
But somehow I got through that—we—got through that. The years I spent with Haley were some of the best and memorable years of my life. God took Adrianna away from me, but in exchange, gave me Haley. With the onset of the fall season, I can’t help but remember Halloween and taking her trick-or-treating for the first time. She always loved Tigger so that’s what she was. Back then the neighborhood was much cleaner and much nicer. There was much that I had to learn, but somehow both of us came out okay for a little while.
When she reached the eighth grade, she came home one day and asked me if it would be okay if she could go out on a date. She told me that she, “Really liked this boy” and that the two of them “wanted to go steady.” Well, I told her exactly how I felt and that was that she was way too young to be seeing any “boys.” That was when she turned on me, when she got angry at me for the first time and told me that if her mother were around that, ‘She would understand!’ That was when I did the worst thing I ever did to her: I slapped her. It took absolutely no thought and so was automatic. I was surprised by my own speed. I tell you my heart broke into million pieces just as soon as I did. Haley then began to cry some more and ran up the stairs to her room. When I went up to call her down for dinner she told me that she wasn’t hungry and for me to leave her alone. That night I could barely sleep thinking about Haley. The following morning she came down to the kitchen eager to eat. I made her waffles with whipped cream and strawberries—it was her favorite. She had two platefuls gulped down her milk and ran over and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” I told her. “I never meant to hurt you, ever.”
“It’s okay Daddy. I can’t stay mad at you.”
“I promise I’ll never hurt you again, you hear me?”
“Dad! I told you that it’s okay!”
“Go out with that boy, all right? Have a good time.”
“Really? No kidding?”
“No kidding, sweetie. Just don’t let him touch you.”
“Then can I touch him?” I gave her a look. “Geez, Dad, lighten up! I was only kidding!”
“Okay, don’t make me regret this.” Haley rolls her eyes.
“Fine, dad…Thanks.” She kisses me again. “I’m sure Charlie will be happy too.”
“All right, go before you miss your bus. Tell me about what happens when you get home.” And that was the last time the two of us talked to one another.
...Okay, I gotta stop. I can’t fuckin’ talk anymore more about Haley. It hurts too goddamn much. Right now, I need a drink.
...I told myself a long time ago that I didn’t need money to live, that I’d get by and that all I needed was my rage and my ability to fight. But then again, I told myself that Haley was going to grow up strong and beautiful and would go on off to college, where she would meet the man of her dreams and make me a couple of gran kids to play with…
And that’s where her story ends.
And that’s where my story begins.
But in my hands I hold her heart of gold—my keepsake—the memory of her wrapped around my neck with the last picture of her inside, before her…abduction. That fucking word is like acid on my tongue. Haley. She has her mother’s jade-green eyes and her mother’s radiant blonde hair—the mother she never got to know—the only woman I ever loved. I kiss her and Adrianna goodnight every night. The two of them live next to each other, side-by-side inside Haley’s heart and right above mine. Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow is Haley’s birthday.
© Copryright 2009. All Rights Reserved.
Some of My Other Short Stories
- Revenge, Inc: A Short Story
There are many factors in which inspired me to write this story and I owe much to some of the current events of the world, certain movies, with its wide range of characters, books, graphic novels, and... - For the Love of Buddhism: A Short Story
Thinking back, I can still see her now. Shes imperfect but clear in my mind. Shes as clear as the crystal orb that my clouded mind endeavored to envision back then when trying so desperately... - Escape: A True Story
Escape By Khamfone Paditsone Tr. dohn121 Author's Note: To eliminate some confusion, my father is narrating this story not me In the summer of 1945 during the end of the World War II, my father Dohn was... - If I Had Wings: A Short Story
My family and I came to America right after Jimmy Carter left office. My first American memory arrived at John F. Kennedy airport, where we landed. It was cold in America, I remembered that very... - Nancy : A Short Story
It was a voice hed heard long before calling his name that he faintly heard while working. Customers frequented the grocery store he worked en masseso much that he grew accustomed to filtering out the... - First Crush: Reba Ashkar: A Short Story
Its five-thirty on a Friday night in late June at the Westchester Yacht Club and everyone in Dohns graduating class is already there. Dinner will be served at precisely six. Outside, at the bottom of... - See You in the Bahamas: A Short Story
Victor sits across from me at their dining room table wearing his linen napkin as bib. A few times, I sat on that same chair. Between us is a carved pork roast atop a wood slab accompanied by very large... - The Absence of Aurora: A Short Story
It was in that year that he left Aurora. Before he did, he envisioned another life. He believed this to be the best move. With her voice still fresh in his mind, he had heard her whisper on occasion to...
My Novels In Progress
- With You Always: A Novel In Progress
Everything I owned I fit inside my Saturn. Ahead of me was indeed a long trip. Longer yet was the trip to Heathers sorority house, in which was at the least owed to her. She is, lets face it, the main... - I, Fraternity: A Novel in Progress: Chapter1
Author's Note: The following excerpt for my novel is entirely fictional. Any like occurrence to similar or actual events in purely coincidental as the people, places and objects in this story were... - I, Fraternity: A Novel In Progress: Chapter2
I remember surveying the field of several fraternities and groups in which to play flag football for. Before joining the Etas, I wasnt looking for Brotherhood, at least not consciously. I wanted only to... - I, Fraternity: A Novel In Progress: Chapter3
At the first Eta Rush, was a banner advertising you to Rush Eta Iota Mu. Some refreshments covered one long table. One half was cold appetizers like a cheese and fruit platter and chips and on the other... - I, Fraternity: A Novel In Progress: Chapter5
As Mattie and I stood on the porch drinking, about another dozen Rushees began making their way towards the house. I recognized some of them from the three other rushes but was never... - I, Fraternity: A Novel In Progress: Chapter6
Because if you think pledging is tough now, wait until tonight when your new pledge program begins. Its going to make the last seven weeks seem like a walk on the beach. You better believe that Im... - I, Fraternity: A Novel In Progress: Chapter4
Eric wasnt the only Eta that ignored me. I saw Ian a few times on campus either leaving or entering the Student Association building, saw Justin at the food court at Taco Bell, John in the library, George...
My Travel Hubs
- Autumn In New Paltz, New York
Several years ago when first I transferred from Plattsburgh to New Paltz, New York, I didnt know what to expect. My emotions were an equal mix of excitement and fear as I began a new chapter in my life.... - Viva Las Vegas Vacation
Embarrassing as it may be, my flight to Vegas in October of 2005 was the first time I flew on an airplane since the age of four. The only thing I remember from my flight then was that I had to use one of... - The Grand Canyon's West Rim
The West Rim of the Grand Canyon In October of 2006, I was asked by my sister and her husband to go to Las Vegas for ten days. Aside from the fact that my job was killing me and that I needed a break, Vegas... - Visit Walt Disney World: Epcot Center
Spaceship Earth I always wanted to go to Disney World when I was a kid, but coming from a working class family with two brothers and two sisters, I wasn't ever able to go. When I reached adulthood, I lost... - Visit Walt Disney World: Hollywood Studios
Formerly known as, - Visit Walt Disney World: Magic Kingdom
Cinderella's Castle at Magic Kindom If you are planning to visit Walt Disney World, I suggest that you go to Magic Kingdom first. To me and my family, it was the best way to start our tour of all four parks:... - Visit Walt Disney World: Animal Kingdom
If you are indeed planning a trip to Walt Disney World, Animal Kingdom should not be missed. The Kilimanjaro Safari alone is reason enough to go to Animal Kingdom, as it's a fun and exciting attraction with...
Hubs On Writing
- Escape: A True Story
Escape By Khamfone Paditsone Tr. dohn121 Author's Note: To eliminate some confusion, my father is narrating this story not me In the summer of 1945 during the end of the World War II, my father Dohn was... - Remembering Nine Eleven
I remember the day clearly. It was a picture-perfect day that day. There were no clouds in the sky against a pane of unblemished blue. The temperature was somewhere between high-sixties and low-seventies... - Unrequited Love: The One That Got Away
Author's Note: I want to thank my friend and confidante, Fierycj for inspiring me to write this hub. After reading First Crush: Reba Ashkar: A Short Story, he insisted that I contact her and find out her... - How to Write a Novel and Find the Voice Within
How I know I'm a Writer Hello. My name is Dohn and I am a writer. No one ever told me that I was a writer (thank God) and no one ever had to. How I became a writer was a conscious decision I made on my... - Why I Write: A Reflection
Having reached my 49th Hub and completing the 30/30 Hubchallenge, I thought about maybe taking a week off or so, basking in the satisfaction of a job well done and just laying myself off on...
Comments
Fantastic Work. God Bless You.
From what I've read, the premise for the series is very good. Punisher type material. Or more likely punisher-esque. But, I just hope your publisher has an editor. Too many type-o's. You need to copy edit. A lot! The only advise I can give you right now: copy edit your work before turning it over to a publisher. It will be more professional looking without the mistakes in spelling and grammar. And yes, I know, you have to write for the characterizations, but simple spelling errors, or punctuation mistakes, are not a good beginning.
Loved what I've read. Good luck to you. And don't worry, little mistakes are made in many hubs I read. Thanks.
I read your first chapter a while back, and just now read number two. Got distracted, but this story does have power. I will try to read at least a chapter daily. Good read. I also write novals, and include them in my hubpages, along with all the money makers I have to do to try to earn a buck. Creative writing, though, is my real passion, not writing about things internet surfers are going to look up, and click on ads beside. Still, if I ever want to be able to write full time, and pursue my dreams, I need to find a way to earn money writing. Thanks for this story, a good one. Your story gave me the original idea of putting chapters of my own on here, so thanks for that, too.
I like what your doing here.
Checking out part two again like you suggested, Have a good Sunday.
Awesome......I'm still waiting for Peter to go to the bathroom, I hope he makes it home in time. I was quite touched by Haley and the loss of her mother.The hard core shell dose have a soft spot.I am begining to understand the method to his madness.....part 2 down and I'm preparing for more
by the way, it will become great graphic novel, don't you think so?
Oh, so sad! So he is not always western samurai and gangster kind of type with harsh attitude and black mind? I need to dig more! But so far your opening and background introduction is flawless. love it! Hwaaaa! I wish I can write this good!
Speak soon Dohn! I've been very slack lately I know but I've got a project on and it's fair driving me mad!! It's nice to relax reading your stuff though - can't wait for the time when I can sit down with your stories over a hot cocoa again!
Wow! Hayley really comes alive here - this is getting intriguing. I'm wondering if this boy she had to see has something to do with her disappearance..
This was so well written - the dialogue flows so well and the ending makes me want to read on. I need to take lessons from you!
A good mixture of predictable and unexpected.
My man...It reads so smooth!
I like the story very much,
I love your style, brother!
I am really enjoying this!
Thumbs up!!!
Thanks for sharing!
Once again Dohn, simply brilliant, and i'm not exagerating! Looking forward to read the next instalment.
This was very touching and smooth flowing, couldn't take my eyes of it.
Dohn - this is phenomenal - I'm holding my breath - waiting to read more...
I will surely catch up so I can read the fifth part. Still, cant get away from the thought of Haley, you know Dohn, I love children...
Oh, I am understanding more the revenge part now, could just separate reality from story but I was deeply moved... a fathers love to a his child is so compassionate. I thought before that a mothers love cant be equalled, but the depth of love of a father is becoming enlightening to me. I will read the other third part tomorrow. This is enough for me today, as I am brewing my coffee, I am still thinking about that child--Haley--am affected....
moving story...
YES!!! Im off to read now. Im bummed I didnt know about the book...I greatly prefer to read before the movie, to see how the movie fits what I imagined. If I see the movie first it can sometimes spoil the book a bit. oh well, I cant do anything about it now.
Awesome chapter 2. Im also quite happy you didnt go any further into detail about watchmen becuase its sitting on my DVD player, waiting to be watched this weekend. Dont stress out about "letting readers down" I have a feeling this story is going to keep pouring out of you!!
That was so sad! What a tragedy! It's just...overwhelming. A day meant for celebration, welcoming a new life into the world...and then having to say goodbye to the woman u love. A day of laughter and a day of tears...It's unfair. Tragic. It's too sad. And struggling as a single father. Trying to please her, make her happy. And then losing her. Gosh I'm in tears reading this. The words that was most touching and heartfelt was: "I kiss her and Adrianna goodnight every night. The two of them live next to each other, side-by-side inside Haley’s heart and right above mine." Just...a tear jerker! The loyalness he has for his true love. I admire that. How he holds on...and bcuz of those tragedies it has shaped him into the man he is...numb. But will not stand by and do nothing. Those villians need to be punished!
Good incorporation of the origin story. Very interesting.
Good incorporation of the origin story. Very interesting.
Very deep plot (shades of The Crow in there). Great themes. The pathos is heartbending. Excellent work.
dude...this is like "Watchmen" put into words. i'm in awe...
Good sharing, please keep it up.
Good writers garner faithful fans - as is evidenced by the response your work is getting! Great story dohn - very impressed with the tone - excellent writing! Looking forward to the next one ;)
I am ready for part three. Excellent write!!!
Maybe you should write a book instead and let the one published here as your teasers...on the second thought maybe just finish it here, I may not afford to buy your book LOL! I'm loving this already.
Cheers Dohn. Nice of you to share this with us. Enjoyed it. Look forward to reading the next chapter very Soon. No pressure. lol.
You're a pretty good storyteller too dohn. I enjoyed this one too. Ahh, the joys of fatherhood. I too struggled with 'touching' my little girls, I prefer mom to do that, but then those emergencies always pop up don't they? And why does everyone like to use my name in stories? LOL Not just here either. Charlie must be the most famous name in fiction. sheesh! Well, at least you have been like my late brother in calling me Charles. LOL peace dohn, CC
i just love the way you've talked about Adrianna and how difficult it was initially with Haley. One's heart just reaches out...
keep posting, truly enjoyed!
You're on the roll!
Dohn--I really do hope you continue with this series and also take PG's recommendation to write this as a novel! This is so well written and it has the suspense and tension of a great revenge story. Your endings are always perfect--leaving the reader always wanting more. Awesome Dohn!
Wow. This is really developing into something special. Are you doing the NaNoWriMo thing in November? You could make it into a novella or novel--50,000 words in one month, that's the commitment. I'm going to do it but I'm scared. I've NEVER been able to finish a novel. Robert Sloan from HP is doing it too. You could really do well with this, honestly I'm sure you could get it published. Looking forward to more. :)
(PS--You are so organized too with all your listings at the end--you put me to shame! Now I have all these ideas about how I could do better here. Thank you!)
Good deal, you're keeping it going. Thank you!
another great piece of writing my friend, I look forward to the day when I can buy your book.
Dohn...no time to rest now...I want more so get with the program already. I'm still waiting...
Good work, I'll be back for the next installment and the next and the one after that.
regards Zsuzsy
Well, you left me wanting more Dohn. I hope there will be more ?
Good job
Hi Dohn121, You are a very good writer. I am so happy that I came to HubPages to discover all this great naturel talented writers like you. Excellent. Thanks Dohn121. You have the gift. Take care. God Bless.
Truly Entertaining
71