I believe the goal is to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for the relationship that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least have a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.
If a couple agrees on the "important things" in life then the autonomy (independence or freedom, as of the will or one's actions) concerning non important things should pose no threat to the relationship.
For example if a woman desires to go see a musical and her mate would rather stay at home and watch a football game they both can do as they please with friends. Having different interests is ok.
Some people believe it's not "real love" unless their mate will do things they dislike or jump through hoops just to please them. However this begs the question of: Why would you want someone to do anything for you knowing how much they detest it?
People who are "in love" usually want their mate to be happy. I can't imagine enjoying any event or activity if I knew my wife hated being there! Personally speaking I'd rather go alone than put her through it.
Compromise is best when one party doesn't feel strongly about it.