Hi Veronica, I'd like your insight about my 5-year relationship....

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   Paddycathposted 13 years ago

   Hi Veronica, I'd like your insight about my 5-year relationship....
   
   We've been together for about 5 years.  We both have children from previous relationships (I was married before).  He's 36 and I'm 32.  Normally I wouldn't wait this long for any man as far as marriage, but he's been so slow on it.  Everytime I bring up the subject he says "it will happen someday", but he's been saying for the past 2 years and am beginning to wonder if it will ever hever happen.  The most hurful part is I've been paying all the bills/rent this entire time because he's been working on his business.  I feel so used and taken advantage of, but love him.  He's been good to my son.

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   lav-seniorposted 13 years ago

   Hi Paddycath,
   
   Before I attempt to venture into your marriage issue, it is important to highlight the money issue. Your partner is busy playing Mr Businessman safe in the knowledge that succeed or fail, he will be fine as you will take care of him financially; I'd most certainly be putting a stop to that! It's a monstrous recession and only extraordinary businesses will survive, I urge you to discuss this with him at a neutral time.
   
   I know nothing about you or your relationship apart from the fact that you love your partner, the question however is does he truly love you? Does he love you so much the thoughts of your not being there would cause him grief and unexplainable pain?
   
   The fact is, you have both been married and seen how it can go wrong. Adding children to this equation simply makes things worse for all concerned and the pain of separation even deeper.
   
   Therefore, there are really only two reasons for him not to wish to remarry; either (1) his first marriage did irreperable damage to his faith in the union (which can be fixed through counselling etc.) or (2) he doesn't love you enough.
   
   Hope it all works out all the same,
   
   Eímear

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   reeltaulkposted 13 years ago

   hmmmm,  shame shame shame, please stop doing this to yourself! In the little that you have said, he sounds like he has no tact no coif and last but not least no Heart!   Jesus is suppose to come someday too.  A line that has been fed for whatever reason I don't know, and the people that feed that line do not live up to what they are claiming to believe, so hypocritical.  I sense the same with this person as he is so non- chalant about being committed, even though you are sacrificing so much in the name of Love.  I will keep it real and say get out of this "so called relationship" fast.  Nothing will change, love yourself and invest and sacrifice for yourself and your children until someone comes your way that will Love you for you and all that you do.  Needing and desiring the relationship that will bond and complete each other. Btw how has he been good to your son?  Is it because he is a "male figure" and you believe that is what your son needs.  Who knows he may even be manipulating you into believing that just so you can continue to do whatever he needs for you to do

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   Jynzlyposted 12 years ago

   Check your self-esteem; if you got that in a normal level you cannot allow any person to cause you emotional strain in any way. Check how much love you got for yourself...you cannot give what you don't have...and others could abuse you.

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