The Club

1. 75

   realtalk247posted 8 years ago

   Okay so you go out for the night. If you go clubbing at the age of 50+ I will conclude something is wrong with you.  I believe they refer to that as being the "old head" at the club. Sad but true.
   
   If you chose to go out for the night and there are plenty of people in the spot-please clarify something for me.  Why would male adults go to an event playing old school hip hop and other music, stand around and not ask women to dance?  Did you come to look cool and dance beside your other male friend? Are you sending the signal you didn't come to have fun?  Are you full of low self-esteem and mask it as if you are "so cool" that you don't need to interact with others? 
   I rarely go to events however watching this spectacle was funny for a moment but sad at the same time. A bunch of men standing around watching everyone else dance, women dancing by themselves, and plenty of men just standing around watching.  It's a dance, not an invitation for marriage.  While I understand men typically are interested in women they are attracted to when they want to dance, I didn't see too many men that should have been as picky as to hold up the wall all night long. Who does that as an adult?
   
   Someone please shed light on this situation because my thoughts are if you are going to be anti-social stay at home.  Why pay to come out, stand around watching women dance without engaging in the activity?  The question needs to be asked- Is this a signal that you and your friend are on the down low?  Women can not be responsible for landing a plane for you to muster enough courage to ask someone to dance?  How long do you stare at a woman before you make a move? If I listen to music I'm more a lounge person than a clubber so maybe this is normal.
   
   Men, women, please explain this stupid behavior in the midst of a social scene or is this a unique trait often shared by minorities?  I've encountered different atmospheres and found this is not the behavior of all cultures when it comes to socializing?  What do you think? What has been your experience? 
   
   

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   1. 61

      Live to Learnposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Kind of cold, aren't you? Friends have always attempted to get me to go to dances. I don't dance. They always tell me it doesn't matter. I don't have to dance. I should come anyway, I will enjoy it and no one will care that I don't dance. I see now I was right and they were wrong. There are people just waiting to judge me negatively for not.

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   2. 78

      Credence2posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Why do you have to put a negative tack to this, men are shy, too. Older men, young men, the concept does not change. In this day and age, women are free to take initiative in these matters now. Why do not some of them get some of the wallflowers away from their walls? Being of a gregarious nature is not something that is gender specific, nor is being reticent or shy. Everybody wants to interact, otherwise why attend?

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   3. 81

      dashingscorpioposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      It's funny that this works both ways!
      
      Just about every man can tell you about times they've approached women who were seated at a table, bobbing their heads, and patting their feet but upon asking either of them to dance the women reject the guy!
      
      There are other instances where a group of women act as if men are rude for approaching them to dance! They apparently are just out to have drinks with their friends and dance among themselves!
      
      Every now and then a guy will go out on the dance floor to join their "circle" and he is dealt the "cold shoulder". He's treated as if he's an intruder.
      
      My point is there are some people who go out just to be out.
      They want to have a few drinks, chat with friends, and "people watch".
      If a guy is by himself he may be simply checking things out with the hope of swooping in and picking up a woman after she has danced and drank a lot.
      In other instances maybe the guy is not a good dancer, shy, or just trying to take his mind off some problems that's going on his life.
      
      Last but not least as you alluded to there are people who are super picky!
      Some women will reject a dance with one guy and say yes to the next guy (while the same record) is playing! (Men experience "direct rejection")
      
      Women experience "indirect rejection" from men when they choose not to ask them to dance. If three women are sitting at a table and the guy approaches one of them for a dance he essentially rejected the other two!
      
      On some level the women sense that as well. If the girl he asks rejects him and he turns to another girl at the table oftentimes she will reject him too!
      She doesn't want to accept her girlfriend's "rejects" and she knows she was not the guy's "first choice". Odds are he's "done" as far as that table.
      
      Some men will only approach women they would consider having sex with or believe they may have a shot to have sex with. They're okay with watching women party hard and get drunk before swooping in at the end.
      
      In fact a lot of guys main goal for going out is to "hookup" not dance.
      If they don't see any women they consider "hot" they won't approach.
      They're basically looking for "low hanging fruit" at "last call for alcohol".
      
      

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2. 55

   willmcwryterposted 8 years ago

   i have some realtalk for you. if you spend that much time analizing what other people do at the club your not having much fun yourself. you might say that you can capable of dancing and having a good time while judging others like a judgy multitasker but the truth is people who spend all there time looking around and judging other for not being more fun are not much fun themselves.

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   1. 75

      realtalk247posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks -funny. I'm a great dancer and still dance regardless of others.  My point is you should be in a dance situation to dance and have fun not stare. Not a judge just a person that likes to party in party situations. Another thought, maybe the men want to dance side by side with their male friends for a reason. LOL. Good point.

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3. 78

   Kathryn L Hillposted 8 years ago

   It has to do with the music.
   The guys are not inspired.
   
      At all, apparently.
   
   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5A2jDKcoWT0

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4. 78

   Kathryn L Hillposted 8 years ago

   Or the opposite ... Maybe the girls are too inspiring?

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   1. 75

      realtalk247posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Good point

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