Do you believe girls dating bad boys is cause a high rate of abuse to women in western culture?
Statistically 10% men date 80% women, yet, 48% women in the west been in abusive relationship, meaning a high percentage of men, that women are attracted to, are abusive. Statistically, there are 6 type of men women prefer, (1) rich guys (2) nice guys (3) father figure (4) funny guys (5) bad boys (6) romantic guys. Without doubt, bad boys are most likely to be abusive, study suggest, girls most likely find themselves addicted to relationship, where the men sweep her off the feet and usually, only bad boys is willing to do so.
I'm definitely interested to see the studies you're referring to!
I'm inclined to disagree with you, but mostly because I'm not sure I fully understand what you're trying to say.
There are a variety of factors to be considered when asking what women desire in men, and vise versa. I guess I agree in a vague sense that 'bad boys' are more likely to be abusive, if you define 'bad boys' as 'boys who are inherently bad'. But in general, the 'bad boy' image that many like to pull off these days doesn't really represent their true personality-- it's more of a style or fashion. The fact that these guys are willing to style themselves up and pretend to be something else just to get the attention of women might suggest that they're idiots, but not necessarily that they're abusive.
If you define 'bad boys' more broadly as 'boys from urban environments' or something similar, then you've got a whole other list of problems on your hands.
As for your point about 'bad boys' being the only ones willing to sweep women off their feet; well that's just not true. Most men try to treat women exceptionally well during the courting process even if they don't intend on continuing to do so into the relationship.
Finally, I don't think it's fair to drop a blanket statement like "girls dating bad boys is [the] cause of [domestic] high rates of abuse to women in Western culture". In some cases, the woman may be to blame for repeatedly making poor decisions, but in all cases, the responsibility ultimately sits with the man who is abusing the woman.
I hope we can agree on one thing: domestic violence is bad, no matter who is hitting who.
Statistically 10% men date 80% women? Really? What country is that?
Finding the "right mate" for oneself is usually an evolutionary process. When it comes to relationships most of us men/women (fail our way) to success. If this weren't the case we'd be married to our high school sweethearts!
During our youth we haven't figured out who (we) are let alone what we want or need in a mate for life! Thus we allow "impulsive connections" and "happenstance" to dictate our relationship choices.
With maturity people also change their idea of what an ideal mate is. Rarely does the guy/girl you thought was "perfect" at age 16 is the same type of person you want at age 26 or 36 or beyond.
Some women go through a "bad boy" phase during their teens and 20s but most eventually move on. It could also be argued that a lot of "nice guys" have their hearts set on girls who are "out of their league" and they choose to (ignore) "nice girls". They want to date the cheerleader, the homecoming queen, or a girl who belongs to the "in crowd". Some of these guys become bitter and start to hate all women because the "hot" ones won't give them the time of day, others adjust their sights and pursue women who are likely to say "yes", and the last group buys into the philosophy that if they become successful/rich enough they can have "any woman" they want.
Each of us chooses our own friends, lovers, and spouse. We are responsible for our own happiness. Anyone who consistently finds their mates are hurting and abusing them needs to reexamine their (mate selection) criteria.
"Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
- Oscar Wilde
I think there's something to be said about the argument that many men become bitter when they are ignored by the "hot" ones, as you put it. I don't have any data, but in my experience, I don't think as many women become bitter for the same reasons.
I don't know about nice girls ignored because guys want hot girls. Because in my experience hot girls are usually nice/bit nerdy (celeb e.g. Emma Watson), ugly girls are jerky/plastic. Pop culture hot girl ain't always hot (e.g. Paris Hilton)
Peter, don't be silly! Emma Watson is what we all call "hot". In fact, J.K. Rowling was unsure at first if they had chosen the right person for Hermione because Emma was so pretty.
My point exactly, culture stereotype portray hot girls as snobby cheerleaders, but in my real life experience, most hot girls aren't like that, but some ugly girl get all plastic and act like they are the hottest girl in the world
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!
If a guy thinks a girl is "hot" then it doesn't matter to him if other people don't think she is!
Some guys will see a girl as being both "hot" and "stuck up" or rude after they've spoken with her.
Girls definitely want to be swept off their feet, being pursued and adored and this is how a real gentleman would treat a woman, 100% of the time.
A "bad boy" might act like that some of the time. He might know how to sweet-talk and make his girl feel desired but he'd be inconsistent about it...
He would go hot & cold, say things he doesn't really mean, act mysterious about his life and past and keep his girl on her toes instead of making her feel loved and secure. That's definitely not what she signed up for... This is the typical can't/won't-commit "bad boy" behavior. That's a player.
Not sure I'd call it "abuse". If anything, the girls are abusing themselves by accepting that behavior and staying. I know because I've been there...
As a result a guy thinks it's okay to behave that way - "treat yourself the way you want others to treat you".. right?
Girls who stay, let alone try to pursue a relationship with such players probably have:
1) Low self esteem - they let those guys treat them poorly because they're subconsciously afraid they can't find anything better. Feeling not worthy of real love.
2) Past emotional trauma - people often try to overcome some emotional trauma they suffered in early life and heal themselves through their partners as adults. A girl, for example, who grew up feeling rejected by a parent might subconsciously be attracted to emotionally unavailable guys. She will try to resolve the rejection trauma in the new/old experiences and turn an uninterested guy into an attentive partner. Sadly, the result is more often the opposite and she will experience the painful rejection again, and again... until she'll realize the pattern of her romantic choices, and change them.
As girls mature and get smarter about who they're dating they are less likely to fall for guys who "can't deliver" and treat them poorly.
I agree. "Bad boys" aren't what one would call (abusive). No woman calls 911 because her man is cheating on her, lies to her, or ignores her wants & needs. Most "bad boys" are admired for their looks, confidence, coolness, mystery & silver to
A lot of western girls, been through the same as you and must learn thing the hard way. I once met a girl name Effie whom been through the same, her story inspire me to write a novel though http://www.freado.com/book/19431/cinderella-tears
None of you appear to be talking about anything that's happening in reality. *thumbs up*
Ghaaz B, What world do you live in where there are no liars or cheaters? Those things are a part of "reality" on planet earth. These are often the traits attributed to "bad boys" along with being inconsiderate and selfish.
First off all, this question is stupid. Second, this particular answer is supremely stupid. You guys are assessing the situation as if the "bad boy" (that term makes this whole convo extra stupid) is an object. You're objectifying men. Stop.
Ghaaz B, As a man I would probably one of the last people to "objectify men". However I do acknowledge (some men) do play the "bad boy" role just as some women play the "gold digger" or "sugar baby" role. Neither gender is standing on holy ground
Great, glad you can see that for yourself; not what I meant though. Let's all just stop saying "bad boy", okay? We sound really really stupid since that's not really a word or phrase that means anything, and we're trying to intellectually discuss it.
Clearly "bad boy", "nice guys", "cougar", "sugar daddy", "gold digger" and so on are words and phrases people have (given meaning) to. You could Google those terms and you'll find many articles written about them. It's stupid if (you) hate them
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