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That's a bummer you've had negative experiences. I've been to Paris 5 times since 9/11. Only problem I've had was when I forgot to empty a water bottle, my bad. The French are no problem. I hate CNN blaring in passport control on my return to the US.
and not to mention how the US customs treats all Europeans as potential immigrants... it's worse the other way around!
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Yes, the fear is difficult. The cost isn't as much as most people think. I usually plan 2 years out and save the money. But it 's good to understand things I need to address on my website as I want to address common things that hold people back.