G.g.zaino Interviews Patrick Fealey
A truly dedicated writer shares his fascinating history
1. Pat you have moved recently from Milo Maine, to California; before that you were in Newport, Rhode Island. You have achieved so much in your life. Tell me of influential moments in your profession as a writer: ie – the Pulitzer ceremony you once attended... How has change in geography affected your writing, or has it?
I don't remember being at a Pulizter ceremony, but I've known a recipient, Mark Thompson of TIME magazine. The letter he wrote to me regarding my work was a big moment. The most influential moment came in 5th grade when my teacher, Mrs. Sammons, told me to "keep writing. You have a talent for it." She was a sweet French Canadian and I had a crush on her. I've never forgotten her words and they have helped me push through some times of doubt.
At the University of Rhode Island I'd gotten into the litmag and was restocking mags in the student union when a girl came up to me, asked me who I was, and said she had read my story (about a pet crow, of course) and she had cried. I thought to myself, if I can make this chick cry, this might be the right business for me.
2. You speak to me volumes in your writing content, I can relate well. Is your life at times as dark and demanding as I feel and witness in your stories? How does your writing reflect your passion for truth?
We have all experienced dark times. I am writing about what I am living, usually while I am living it. For me, writing has always been the easy part. Staying alive and wanting to stay alive are the struggle.
3. Are you a minstrel Patrick? You possess a great deal of talent in the fields of literature, Art, and Music. In a paragraph or so, describe best what you feel is your mission on the planet. Where is your life taking you? ... or are you there already?
My mission is to be a scout. Go ahead and report back what I find. This is the role of the artist and man needs him just as any army relies on scouts and spies. This scout travels into his own existence, to capture and grasp the true essence of the moment, which is himself, naked for all of him to see. It is dangerous psychologically because we are born with so many built-in defenses against truth. This is how the race justifies its propagation, via ignorance/innocence. The artist subjects himself to facts and experiences which erode his natural defenses, leaving him vulnerable to himself, society, and nature. Drugs and alcohol, derangement in the rimbaud sense, play a part.
Dizzy Gillespie said to me, back-stage at the newport jazz festival in 1983, "It's all yours if you want it bad enough." I guess I didn't want it bad enough because I quit music. At the time, I knew I was not hearing the notes the way these cats were. I was hearing words. Just recently I have picked up the trumpet again. I had it shipped out west and when I opened the box I couldn't hit a note.
4. Your mind at times astounds me. Your need to speak out and express thoughts on psychological issues for one; many are apprehensive to talk about what they consider a sickness to be avoided at all costs, yet you do it easily and with panache. Does it derive from an old soul? A haunted soul perhaps?
It's difficult not to sound self-absorbed with these questions. I guess that means they are good questions because I am self-absorbed. Call me a beneficent sociopath. That's what every artist should be. Think of Picasso in paris, condemning the Nazis yet selling paintings to them. This may suggest a superiority. It's all very cold. I firmly belive that manic-depressives see life from more reference points and angles than others and therefore have a better grasp of reality. At the same time, they are weakened by their condition. Van Gogh is a classic example. The sick ones are the seers and they can barely withstand it. My best friend calls me "old fealey" and a painter I worked with said I reminded him of someone from the 1800s. I honestly don't know what that's about and it gets close to reincarnation, which I don't want to believe in because i do not want to come back.
5. I enjoy your chapters of “Bird’s Island” Do you favor Crows- Ravens over other feathered species? Was bird an actual companion at one time?
First it should be mentioned that ravens are ranked in intelligence with chimps, dolphins, and humans, and they have been around the longest. Since I had a crow as a kid, and saw that intelligence and humor, I wanted to write a book about a crow, about him, "bird," from his point of view.
BIRD's ISLAND is a flawed attempt to see us as a crow might see us, as well as explore the close relationship between the crow and a human, wawp. The challenge was how do I know how a crow knows? How do I know what a crow thinks? Because I do not know these things, I had to guess. The fact that I was restricted to a human language made the whole operation tedious and suspect. Ravens have the most extensive language on earth, yet all we usually hear are monosyllabic caws.
One day my crow nearly knocked me off my feet when he started talking to me in this wholly funky language that sounded like a symphony gurgling in the mouth of a volcano. I accepted compromise and wrote the book. One interesting development came from these Russian girls who were writing to me. Their English was decent, except they confused pronouns, often substituting a "you" with an "it." "I am very happy to hear from it. I was waiting for its email." Got me thinking about the crow, how a person could be an it.
6. There is a starting point to any career. You have such varied gifts and interests. As a writer, where did it all begin- and what is your formal educational background? Was there an event that spoke to you, and birthed a writer in your mind and spirit?
When I was about nine, I used to go over to this kid's house just to play with his typewriter. I didn't care much about him. I dug out his toys from a massive chest until I found the typewriter. A year later I asked my parents for my own and started banging out short stories.
Another starting point is when I joined a newspaper. It teaches you the writing habit, discipline. You have to write or you will have no food, no apartment, no gas for your car, your girlfriend will leave you, and your family will tell you to become a cop. It was at the papers that I learned about opening a vein. Writing for a paper readjusts your expectations and shows you what you are capable of. It's also a great source of experience, which every writer needs. I attended Humboldt State University and graduated from the University of Rhode Island with a degree in journalism.
7. I must ask this question: Do you have an author; past or present, that defined literature for you more than others. For example; your writing style is unique, yet I see influence of writers like for example- Nietzsche, London, Bukowki and Hemingway.
Writers who come to mind immediately are Henry Miller, Charles Baudelaire, Celine, Bukowski, Hemingway, and Rimbaud. London's "to build a fire" is one of my favorite short stories. There isn't any one writer I consider defining. In fact, they all get on my nerves and I've learned a lot about what to avoid. For example, Charles Bukowski. I believe he writes with an idealized self-perception. Never does or says anything wrong, always right on himself. Bukowski was editing his life and actions as he wrote about them. He created a saint. This is a trap we could all be vulnerable to and I suspect alcohol fosters blindness. I say "be weak and stupid" because we all are. Hem had a similar problem. if you need to know the truth before you can write it, Hem knew it and then wrote around it.
8. Are you politically, socially, and psychologically numb with the current state of humankind? Do you see most folks not taking responsibility for their lives, and in total disregard of their planet and fellow creatures great and small? Do you see hope?
I have seen individuals I believe in.
9. The topic of Love / Like/ Relationships comes up in your Hubs with frequency. How do you view the battle of the sexes? Is it over? Is it over for you?
Sex and death are what we have to write about. These are our greatest imperatives, the one we want and the one we want to avoid. the battle of the sexes will never be resolved and that is a good thing. I tend to think of "love" as a huge misunderstanding. Sacrifice and vulnerability will never be common currency, so this thing we call love, what we hope might be love, is necessarily rare. When a perfect match comes along, they are granted spring, summer, autumn, winter, just like everything else.
10. Pat, if you would- can I ask for some of the awards and rewards; material and spiritual you have come to appreciate over the years? Published material, feelings of intense Truth- etc…
The publication I value most is the Wormwood Review. The writing process itself will always be the most spiritually fulfilling. Materially, I made a living as a reporter for a few years and won some journalism awards. I needed to do that at that time in my life. Those are good for the resume, but are of little spiritual significance. What makes me smile now are memories of moving from couch to church to rooming house to welfare hotel, writing without hope of publication, trying to stay afloat in a world of crime and psychotics. I spent 12 years living at the bottom because I needed to write and down there is where the time is.
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