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HSI Las Vegas - 'The Jackalope and the Showgirl'
HSI Las Vegas
The Tragic Romance of BT & Sci-PI
Golden Nuggets in Beautiful Las Vegas
Episode 1 - The Jackalope and the Showgirl
Having suddenly and violently been forced once again to travel through time and space, thanks to a strange romantic encounter between the jacklope and Officer Sci-PI, we find ourselves in sunny Las Vegas. The scene opens with B.T Evilpants, Sci-PI, Zsuzsy Bee and RedElf sharing coffee and banter outside the Captain's office.
B.T. - "Yeah, that was quite a night. I remember climbing up a balcony somewhere and knocking back a shot but I don't recall why or who that girl was that gave me the drink."
Sci-PI - "Funny, I'm feeling a little fuzzy, myself. I think I had a dream that some guy was climbing a vine to get to my room, then when he got there a nurse gave us a little bottle of poison."
RedElf - "Actually, we were enjoying some time with the Bard, when you two got caught up in a tragic romance."
B.T. and Sci-PI turn to stare blankly at RedElf. Suddenly, B.T. bursts out laughing.
"You had me going there for a second. Oh, Mrs. Evilpants would love this joke."
Zsuzsy Bee - "It's true! You grew these great man-legs and started courting Sci-PI. Before any of us knew what was happening, you guys announced your engagement."
Captain - "Sorry to break up the coffee clatch. Just wanted to let you know that there's a meeting in 15 minutes and I want you all there."
Zsuzsy Bee - "A big case, Captain?"
Captain - "The biggest, Bee. See you all in my office in fifteen."
B.T. - "Okay, back to what you were saying, which I'm having a hard time believing, by the way."
RedElf - "Well, neither of your families would allow the marriage."
Sci-Pi - "Why not?"
Zsuzsy Bee - "Some kind of feud thing, they didn't like each other."
Sci-PI - "Hmm, this storyline sounds familiar."
B.T. - "Excuse me but why do I see desert, mountains and casinos out the window?"
RedElf - "That's what I'm trying to explain. When the parents heard that you and Sci-PI were going to get married, a big brawl broke out. Sci-PI's parents pushed you into the cracked mirror and your parents retaliated in kind. The rest of us followed and we ended up at the Las Vegas branch of HSI."
Sci-PI - "Which means what?"
Zsuzsy Bee - "HubNugget Scene Investigations"
B.T. - Oh, don't tell me they're missing again!"
Zsuzsy Bee - "Yup. The nuggets got ahead of us. We spoke with a witness who claims they landed in the arms of a showgirl by the name of Candy Bubbles.
B.T. - "Lucky nuggets. I saw a picture of her once. All I can say is, va-va-va-voom!"
Zsuzsy Bee - "Well, we still have ten minutes to kill. Why don't we do some reading? The Food and Cooking category looks good."
Which one of this week's Food and Cooking nominees is your favorite?
- 35% Buffalo (Bison) Stew
- 15% Ayran, A Healthy Yogurt Drink
- 12% Toasted Sandwich Filling Ideas
- 12% 10 Cooking Herbs and Spices to Aid Digestion
- 21% How to Make the Cajun Doughnut - Beignets
- 6% The Beauty Of Edible Fruit Arrangements
This poll is now closed to voting.
The Food and Cooking Nominees
- Ayran, A Healthy Yogurt Drink
"Homemade ayran with a bubbly top." (Photo by Loren Akten) If you have been to Turkey, you have probably observed most of the Turkish people drinking a bubbly, milky white beverage almost with every meal –...
- Toasted Sandwich Filling Ideas
Sandwiches are great. They are easy, quick, and even if you can't cook, you can put a sandwich together! But even better (in my humble opinion) is the toasted sandwich.
- 10 Cooking Herbs and Spices to Aid Digestion
Many of the common herbs and spices we regularly use for cooking are beneficial for digestion. Digestion is extremely important because it makes many of our organs work together to absorb, break down and...
- How to Make the Cajun Doughnut - Beignets
The word beignet, pronounced "ben-yay" derived from the ancient Celtic word "bigne" which means "to raise". However some believe the word stems from the French word "bignet" which is a fritter surrounded by...
- HubNuggets How-To, Q & A
Have you always wondered what a HubNugget is and how to get in on the HubNugget action? Well, wonder no more! All you have to do is read this hub and all will be revealed.
All are assembled in Captain Shirley's office of the HSI office in Las Vegas.
Captain - "As of right now, we're all working the missing nugget case. I just got off the horn with Simone, who got it from Maddie, who got it from Jason at HSI headquarters in San Francisco and the orders were very clear. HubNuggets is our top priority. We'll work night and day if we have to but those Wannabe nuggets must be found."
Sci-PI - "I could do some tests on the mirror. It'll give me a chance to use that new forensic gizmo that HQ sent us. Perhaps I can find some particles that will help us pinpoint a location."
Captain - "Actually, Sci-PI, I'd like RedElf to handle that. Kittens have very sensitive noses, she may pick up something very subtle. Besides, she can dust for prints with her tail at the same time.
"Bee, why don't you talk to our witness again, see if he remembers anything else. Maybe he knows which club Candy Bubbles works in or perhaps he noticed someone else who might have witnessed the wannabe nuggets coming through the portal.
"Sci-PI, it's the portal that I want you working on. Take your evidence kit and anything else you think you'll need. Bring back as much information as you can."
B.T. - "What do you want me to do?"
B.T. - "Can Hank help?"
Captain - "Yes, but don't let him touch anything."
Which one of this week's Health nominees is your favorite?
- 34% My Baby Was a Kidney Stone
- 9% Key foods for vegetarians to build muscle
- 17% Living the Overloaded Life
- 23% A Look at Feral Children
- 11% Overcoming Panic Attacks
- 5% What I Learned About Bread and Processed Foods
This poll is now closed to voting.
The Health Nominees
- My Baby Was a Kidney Stone
A sharp pain in my right flank jolted me awake. It was 4 am. By 6 am the pain took my breath away and I started vomiting. My husband phoned our midwife. She suspected a kidney infection...
- Key foods for vegetarians to build muscle
The question "what options are there for vegetarians who wish to build muscle?" recently came to me after reading some comments on my thread, Key foods for building muscle. This got me thinking because I had...
- Living the Overloaded Life
Is it possible to become so busy in our lives that we can’t really live? Can we really become too busy to truly live life and enjoy it to the fullest? Perhaps the problem is that too many of us are simply...
- A Look at Feral Children
Most people have never heard of feral children. Its an enigma that is not highly publicized. These children are commonly referred to as "wild children" having been confined with little to no human contact....
- Overcoming Panic Attacks
Anxiety disorders are characterized by an inordinate, pathological fear. While normal people fear certain things too, the person afflicted with anxiety disorders may fear too many things, or fear a few...
- What I Learned About Bread and Processed Foods
It could be because of processed foods, among other starchy carbohydrates. I cut back on bread, rice, sugar, potatoes, and all processed foods during an experimental diet. In return, I had many benefits. My...
Life Cycle of a HubNugget
- A report is generated of all the new hubs by new hubbers (usually more than 3,000 per week) in 3 rotating categories selected by the HP staff
- HubNugget team members go through the list, looking for the best quality hubs in each category
- The HubNugget team narrows down the list to six Wannabes in each category
- One of the team members constructs the hub and forum thread
- HubNugget Wannabes are read and voted on by peers and others
- Winners are officially declared by the HP staff
- An announcement is made in the forum
of the winners receive a congratulatory email from a member of the
HubNuggets team and appear in the newsletter for that week
Rinse and repeat each week.
RedElf is on her Blackberry, humming as she listens to the ringing on the other end
"Captain, I've found something! Can you come down to the lab?
Captain Shirley enters the evidence testing laboratory. The doors softly swish closed behind her as RedElf excitedly starts to share her findings
"I found bits of fur and fiber on the mirror edge but I don't think those will help us. The fur is jackalope and the threads are from the Elizabethan era, where we just came from. However, my kitty nose picked up the faint scent of something sweet, perhaps candy or gum. Here, smell for yourself, I got some stuck in my fur while tracking the scent. Someone had put the sticky stuff on the underside of the mirror. I put it under the microscope, there are teethmarks in it. I'm searching for a match in our database now."
Captain - "Could be a good clue, RedElf. If we can find out whose teeth left the impressions, we may be able to prove who has the nuggets. My money's on Candy Bubbles.
"Write up your report when you're finished and leave it on my desk."
Back in her office, Captain Shirley answers her phone. Zsuzsy Bee gets right to the point
"Captain, our witness says that Miss Bubbles works at the Down and Dirty, over on the strip."
Captain - Good work, Bee! Did the witness say anything else?"
Zsuzsy Bee - "Well, he mentioned something about a pole on the stage but he was mumbling into that brown paper bag he carries around. Before I could ask him about it, he fell asleep.
"Want me to head over to the Down and Dirty?"
Captain - "No, come on back. RedElf needs some help getting gum out of her fur."
Captain Shirley leaves her office to slip unnoticed into the nugget reading room and observe B.T. and Hank for a moment before clearing her throat. The platypus and jackalope jump, startled.
Captain - "Asleep on the job, gentlemen?"
B.T. - "No! We've read through the Health hubs, even voted for our favorites."
Captain - "Well then, Mr. Evilpants, I want you to go over to the Down and Dirty. Find Candy Bubbles and question her. If she doesn't tell you where the nuggets are, bring her in for interrogation."
B.T. - "Hot dog! Can Hank come along?"
Captain - "No. I want Hank to stay here and read through the Books, Literature and Writing hubs with Ripplemaker. There must be some answers in this batch, it's the last one. Ripplemaker is an expert in hub reading, I really want her take and analysis, I've already called her in. This case is too important to cut corners on."
Which one of this week's Books, Literature, and Writing nominees is your favorite?
- 9% Writing for a purpose
- 36% Letter to My Sister Who Won't Speak to Me. Still, I Love Her Anyway!
- 7% Shel Silverstein: A Critique on Where the Sidewalk Ends
- 34% Sampson Veteran’s Tale – What huge lake are you talking about?
- 7% Travel Writing - 8 Story Angles Travel Writers Write Travel Articles From
- 7% 10 Powerful Quotes of Albus Dumbledore
This poll is now closed to voting.
The Books, Literature, and Writing Nominees
- Writing for a purpose
I started writing exactly one year ago as a result of my father's tragic death in April 2009 which was indicated as a suicide by the coroners office and on his death certificate. He was killed by a...
- Shel Silverstein: A Critique on Where the Sidewalk Ends
Does the Sidewalk End? “If you are a dreamer, come in”(Silverstein 9). When I was growing up I had an extremely vigorous imagination. I’ve always loved fairytales and fantasy....
- Sampson Veteran’s Tale – What huge lake are you talking about?
I'm like the many others who joined the Air Force, I didn't want to get drafted into the Army and be a "Ground Pounder!" In the 1950s the draft was very much in use and I had been classed as 1-A. That meant I...
- Travel Writing - 8 Story Angles Travel Writers Write Travel Articles From
One of the challenges of successful travel writing is to find a story angle to write from. The angle is the perspective from which a story is written. How to travel around Europe by train versus Bill...
- 10 Powerful Quotes of Albus Dumbledore
10 Most Powerful Quotes of Albus Dumbledore When readers picture Albus Dumbledore they see a man with bright blue eyes, half-moon glasses perched on a long crooked nose, a tall thin build, flowing...
It was my first time in Vegas. It seemed like a pretty place, lots of lights and shiny things. And Candy Bubbles.
While the others were back in the lab looking for clues and evidence, the Captain wanted me to go to that seedy hole in the wall at the end of the Vegas strip. It's called the Down and Dirty and for good reason. Just looking at the outside of the place made me want to go the other way. It had that 'big-burly-biker-guys-will-pull-your-liver-out-with-their-teeth' look and feel to it. The sliver of dirt at the side was decorated in early wino and I wondered if that was Zsuzsy Bee's witness. Taking a deep breath, I decided that meeting Candy Bubbles was worth the risk and stepped through the ancient, battered doorway.
Immediately, I was struck by the smell of the joint. It reeked of cheap beer and testosterone. Smoke hung in clouds over the tables of rough-looking patrons, who all seemed to be staring at me. Hadn't they ever seen a jackalope in a fedora before? , I wondered. I moseyed over to the bar, my senses on high alert in case of trouble. Despite the danger, I was eager to meet Candy Bubbles.
The bar tender told me that Candy would be out in a minute. Sure enough, I'd no sooner ordered a sarsaparilla when the lights went down, music started and the luscious Miss Bubbles appeared on stage.
She was everything a Vegas showgirl should be - beautiful, talented and she knew how to work a crowd. Her routine involved bubbles (isn't that cute 'cause her last name is Bubbles) that seemed to be coming from somewhere above.
Candy has great bubbles. Big. Really big.
I made my way past the sleeping drunks, tattooed soldiers and suited business men on lunch to get to the front of the stage. Suddenly, there I was, standing up close and personal to Miss Candy Bubbles. I was as nervous as a school boy to meet such a celebrity, a real live showgirl whose picture I've seen in some of the mens' finer magazines.
She was even prettier than her photograph and twice as sexy, if that was possible. She had bleach blonde, flowing hair teased high at the top and that bright blue eyeshadow went all the way up to her eyebrows, accentuating those big peepers of hers. Then there were those bubbles and the way she used that pole in her act. Yes, Candy Bubbles was all class. You could tell, just by the way she snapped her gum loudly while staring you straight in the eye. This girl was hot! I had to regain my senses before I started questioning her.
"Miss Bubbles, I'm Officer B.T. Evilpants from HSI. I need to ask you a few questions."
I pulled out my badge. It's regulation but I was also hoping to impress her.
Candy Bubbles popped her gum on a swing around the pole. "I don't talk ta cops."
"Miss Bubbles, could you please turn yourself right side up and talk to me, this is vitally important. If you don't co-operate, I'll have to take you in to have a conversation with my Captain."
Candy rolled her eyes. It might have been because she loves her job as a showgirl so much but I think she really didn't want to talk to me. I say that because she let out a rather vulgar curse word.
"What do you want to know?" Candy asked.
"Our sources tell us that In the early hours of this morning, eighteen nuggets dropped through a portal and fell right into your arms. We want to know where they are."
Candy played one of the giant falling bubbles on the top of an extended finger before answering, "Oh, that! You guys call yourselves detectives?"
"Not really," I had to admit.
A few more swings and slides around the pole and Candy finally spilled the beans, along with the bubbles. "Those things are showing up all over HubPages. Some guy by the name of Hank called looking for them, so I said, sure take 'em off my hands. I mean, what am I gonna do with 'em?" A final snap of that luscious pink bubble gum she was chewing and Candy was trotting off the stage. It was amazing to see how many dollar bills she could carry without using her hands.
Well, I used my badge to get backstage and get an autographed photo of Candy Bubbles. I'll have to keep it aboard ship, if we ever get back there. The missus wouldn't appreciate it hanging around the house.
After that, I placed a call to HSI and let the Captain know that the mystery was solved. Our Wannabe nuggets were right there the whole time. Maybe the fact that Hank found and retrieved them all by himself will soften her view of him.
Driving through the desert as the sun turned the mountains to gold, I couldn't help thinking about Candy Bubbles. I love my job.