Whole Persona Theft - From the Most Unexpected of Sources

1. 84

   Gordon Hamiltonposted 12 years ago

   Hi, all
   
   I know that theft of our content online is a big problem for many of us but I am pretty much in shock tonight after having virtually my entire identity stolen from a very unexpected source - one of my best friends. How do I deal with this...???
   
   A friend called me earlier tonight to tell me he had to confess to a terrible crime. He has met a woman on an adult dating site (in cyberspace only!) and basically decided to tell her he is a writer (rather than the truth - he is a joiner). He has sent her a link to one of my online profiles and basically told her it is him. He has arranged to meet her this weekend and (wait for it!!!) has asked me to agree to the ongoing story that I am only the photographic front for his work - no joke!
   
   Firstly, I am p'd at the lies; secondly, what kind of relationship starts on that basis; thirdly, he probably earns three times what I do - and fourthly, one of my profiles is now floating around some dodgy porn/adult/whatever you want to call it site!
   
   Comments and advice welcome and greatly received...

   replyreport
   1. 81

      Blake Flanneryposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I guess you'll have to become someone else, since you aren't you anymore.  Then everyone who knows you will be telling you, "Hey Gordon, you don't seem to be yourself anymore."  "Then you'll say, yeah, that's cause I'm this guy online named Blake Flannery."  Then I'll have to find someone else to be.

      replyreport
      1. 84

         Gordon Hamiltonposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Hi, Blake and thanks. Maybe you want me to tell him to give her your details??? Joke!!

         replyreport
         1. 81

            Blake Flanneryposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Only if she is my wife.

            replyreport
   2. 75

      IzzyMposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Your friend sounds as if he has  confidence issues that he still has to deal with. He honestly thought being a writer is a better persona than being a joiner?? I know what kind of man I'd prefer! I mean, can a writer install my kitchen cupboards? I rest my case.
      
      This is his issue.
      
      You have been dragged into it, a little bit, but you know there is no such thing as bad publicity, unless Google hates the site you are linked to.
      
      I'm obviously not in a position to know, but maybe your friend is really lonely, and thought that his life was so boring, no woman would ever want to know him?
      
      So he thought up a little romantic plan and called himself a writer, (which is sorta romantic) and then decided to prove it by linking you.
      
      It's not honest. It's not a good thing. But it got him a date!
      
      Now he has to unravel the web of deceit, and he started with you. He came clean about something you may never have known about, so he is still a friend.
      
      The link to your name is only dodgy if the site is frowned upon by Google.
      
      Check that first, then give your mate a hug. He needs it!

      replyreport
2. 71

   Cagsilposted 12 years ago

   WOW!
   
   Sorry to hear this Gordon. I'm not sure what advice to give. I can only guess what needs to be done.
   
   (a) get your stuff removed from that site
   (b) get your friend to come clean
   (c) reconsider him a friend
   (d) deny him this lie by not following it because it would make you no better than him.
   
   That's about all I can say on it.

   replyreport
   1. 84

      Gordon Hamiltonposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks, Cags
      
      Very sound advice and much appreciated. The sad thing is we have been friends since we were babies and for as long as either of us can remember. That of course only makes it worse...

      replyreport
      1. 71

         Cagsilposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         I can understand your dilemma Gordon. It's a shame your friend went this route.

         replyreport
3. 61

   paradigmsearchposted 12 years ago

   Deceit compounds logarithmically; until it explodes...

   replyreport
   1. 84

      Gordon Hamiltonposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      True... I hope he comes to realise that...

      replyreport
      1. 61

         paradigmsearchposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Now that you are aware of it, if you do not act, she can sue you as a participant in fraud, intentional infliction of emotional distress, and whatever else she can make up. I'm not a lawyer, but I am paranoid...

         replyreport
4. 85

   rebekahELLEposted 12 years ago

   I don't blame you for being upset. I would be also.  I would deal with what affects you, and let him figure out how he's going to deal with the girl.  Good luck!

   replyreport