Some constructive criticism on my first Hub (Adam and Lilith)

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  1. msginger profile image80
    msgingerposted 5 years ago

    Hello all! I am 'new' (signed up a long time ago, but just started writing) to Hubpages and very excited to start covering as many subjects as possible. However, I've always been very reliant of feedback in order to continue what I'm doing and so I would like to know if there are certain adjustments I could make to improve. English is not my first language so if there are any flaws in the text regarding grammar/spelling please point them out for me. I'm here to learn.

    My first hub about breastfeeding was featured but ads were disabled, probably due to the sensitivity of the subject. So my first 'real' (earning) hub is this one:

    http://msginger.hubpages.com/hub/The-fi … and-Lilith

    Hope you can help me out!

    1. Cardisa profile image91
      Cardisaposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Msginger. Welcome to Hubpages.

      There is only one suggestion I can make at this point and that is to make your paragraphs a little short. Tow paragraphs come to mind: The capsule titled Genesis 1 versus Genesis 2, you need to break up the paragraphs there. The capsule titled The Alphabet of Ben Sira is also too long so break that up as well.

      the photos are okay since they are not real portraits but rather art in a tasteful manner. If you are unsure just send HP staff a line asking them.

      1. msginger profile image80
        msgingerposted 5 years agoin reply to this

        Thank you for the suggestion Cardisa! You mean just to break it up within the capsule, right?

        1. Cardisa profile image91
          Cardisaposted 5 years agoin reply to this

          Yes, you don;t need to create additional capsule for that. Just separate the paragraphs. smile

  2. chasmac profile image96
    chasmacposted 5 years ago

    Hi Msginger - I had a look and I think it's very well written and informative. Your English ability is impressive; nobody would know that it's not your native language.  I hope HubPages is fine with the artistic nudity (all correctly attributed, I see) as it's tasteful and illustrates the article content well.

  3. msginger profile image80
    msgingerposted 5 years ago

    Thank you chasmac, that's a real boost of confidence for the writer-me! I wasn't sure about the nudity, but we'll see. :-)

  4. Writer Fox profile image48
    Writer Foxposted 5 years ago

    Nude pictures are great and can bring you a lot of traffic.  That's why I posed in the nude for my avatar picture.

    1. LCDWriter profile image95
      LCDWriterposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      THAT....made me laugh.

    2. Cardisa profile image91
      Cardisaposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Crazy Fox! lol lol

    3. msginger profile image80
      msgingerposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Well, with that body..big_smile haha

  5. Silva Hayes profile image88
    Silva Hayesposted 5 years ago

    Well-written article; I saw no indication that English is not your first language.  The only thing I noticed was that you have several items listed from Amazon and I understand that we are now supposed to limit our Amazon and eBay listings to one each.

    1. Cardisa profile image91
      Cardisaposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Actually it's one item per capsule. You are allowed one item per 50 words of content, however, your Amazon and eBay capsules should only have one item.

 
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