Torture HP Time re: Traffic Stats

1. 59

   paradigmsearchposted 9 years ago

   Come on guys! It really is a big deal to us to dial up the morning stats. It is fun! And you no longer seem to be able to provide that.
   
   Awhile back HP stated that this particular function was outsourced. Fire them!
   
   I was a Programmer/Analyst for over 20 years before I had to go into the unpaid caregiver business. I know I am obsolete, but I could definitely handle this. Language does not matter. I've learned dozens of them in my time. One more won't be a problem.
   
   Although this post was spontaneous, it is also serious. If hired, I would guarantee that stats would be as they once were. Not only that, you would remove yet another person from the food stamps role. I mean seriously, how could you pass that up?

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      Writer Foxposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      But, the good news is that payments to PayPal were right on schedule!

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         paradigmsearchposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Totally unsurprised.
         
         Meanwhile, the breadcrumb trail still exists for those who are interested in what Hubbers had to say about year 2015.

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      Dale Hydeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I will hire you for $65,000.00 a year if you can guarantee my business a profit of $500,000.00 a year.

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         Barbara Kayposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         I'll give you another $65,000 along with Dale's if you can guarantee the same income as his. Your income numbers are getting up there.

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            paradigmsearchposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            I will consider your most generous offers. After all, I'm probably not going to hear from HP any time soon. "Torture HP Time" is hardly the way to woo a new client.

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               NateB11posted 9 years agoin reply to this

               lol

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2. 59

   paradigmsearchposted 9 years ago

   Well, it now says, "Includes data from 15 minutes ago and earlier". But once again, the numbers didn't change. I hate that.

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      Writer Foxposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      They only updated the income.

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         paradigmsearchposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Which, incidentally, were not bad at all; especially for this time of year and my hub topics.

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            jansharesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            +1

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            Writer Foxposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            I'll bet the people with New Year's Hubs are freaking out waiting for days for the stats to update.  Come to think about it, the same thing happened for Rosh Hashanah, Halloween and Thanksgiving which, come to think about it, was right after the servers got so busy with new Hubs and people from Squidoo, which, come to think about it – Oh well, never mind.

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               jansharesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

               Lol!

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            Millionaire Tipsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            Shhh! Quiet!

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               paradigmsearchposted 9 years agoin reply to this

               HP deserves the compliment. I can't begin to imagine the amount of work that is required to run this site; especially when considering the number of obstacles that are constantly thrown in their path.

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                  Marcy Goodfleischposted 9 years agoin reply to this

                  I agree - between Google and people who sign up here to scam or spam, and integrating the good stuff from Squidoo while culling the chaff, it's a huge job.

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3. 81

   Marcy Goodfleischposted 9 years ago

   My traffic & revenue was just updated.  Any idea if the 'views' in one day are cumulative since the last update, or if they truly reflect one day?
   
   I'm so close to 300,000 views - less than 500 views away - maybe the Traffic Fairy helped me out.  I'd love to reach that goal as my wrap-up to 2014!

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      paradigmsearchposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      You are right. I don't believe the stats either. Looks like 2 days worth to me, too. And GA also says the stats are wrong.

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         Writer Foxposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         I don't understand you.  Do you mean the '1 day' figures looks like they are really for 48 hours?  If that's what you mean, can't you just take the 'Total Views Ever' number and deduct the 'Total Views Ever' number from the last update on the 27th and divide by 2 to check the figure?

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            paradigmsearchposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            Bolding done by me.
            
            Yes. As to your suggested calculations, you forgot to divide by pi and multiply by the Euler–Mascheroni constant.

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               Writer Foxposted 9 years agoin reply to this

               I think you are calling me a logarithm.
               I'm going to report you to the forum police.
               

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               Marcy Goodfleischposted 9 years agoin reply to this

               I need more caffeine.

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      2. 84

         NateB11posted 9 years agoin reply to this

         I was really happy for a few minutes and then compared GA and HP stats and realized it's another "syke!" stats glitch. Disappointed to say the least. I thought I'd returned to pre-Panda/Squidoo acquisition numbers.

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            jansharesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            DANG! (sigh) I kinda felt like this is too good to be true.

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            NateB11posted 9 years agoin reply to this

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtmI--F8Zmo

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      Mark Ewbieposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Cumulative.  I had a brief moment where I thought I had learned the secret of internet writing.

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         Marcy Goodfleischposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         LOL!   I had the same fleeting epiphany, Mark.  Then I drank more caffeine.

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4. 60

   Mark Ewbieposted 9 years ago

   

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      Brite-Ideasposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      your sketch made me laugh !

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   jansharesposted 9 years ago

   So all the red arrows aren't real either?

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      Writer Foxposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Bummer!  And I have a lot of double ones, too!

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         jansharesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         I have a double as well. It has to be real, Writer Fox. Why would the HP stat machine torture us like this? (Sigh) Off to see a client now and make money I can actually see.

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      Writer Foxposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      It's officially not real:
      http://hubpages.com/forum/topic/127646#post2691967

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6. 0

   Lorelei Cohenposted 9 years ago

   Seems like since they did the big switch over to the new stats counter things have not been running too smoothly at all.

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7. 94

   LongTimeMotherposted 9 years ago

   Yep. I think they should hire paradigmsearch to crunch the numbers ... and Mark Ewbie to create the forum threads announcing when there's some kind of delay.
   
   With team work like that, I wouldn't mind when the stats were slow.

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