I'd like feedback on my Hub: Uruguay in South America,Beauty and Wonder.

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   mio cidposted 8 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Uruguay in South America,Beauty and Wonder.. What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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   1. 73

      Quilligrapherposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I have a few suggestions that I am I happy to offer free of charge. There is a good chance that they are not even worth the price you have to pay for them. Never the less, I hope they are helpful, even a little. 
      
      First, the entire hub consists of only one paragraph. This is an immediate signal that something is wrong. In this case, it indicates that the theme and the topics (ideas) expressed in the hub need to be reorganized.
      
      I would read the hub slowly while arranging all of the individual things said about Uruguay by importance and/or similarity. For example:
      the country of your birth,
      the selection of destinations from Italian harbors,
      your gratitude to your grandfather,
      the geography, size, and climate of the country,
      the distribution of the population,
      Societal characteristics, etc etc etc..
      
      I would then introduce these ideas as separate topics, framing each uncomplicated topic in a separate sentence. I might also expand some of the topics into more than one sentence to include related aspects and information that are grouped within individual paragraphs.
      
      In this hub, the very first sentence is a “run-on” sentence. It contains more than one idea or point of view. Each idea should be in a separate sentence or, occasionally, connected in a compound sentence (more than one idea) to alter the flow of the narrative. Commas in English sentences, as are all punctuation except an open quotation mark, are always followed by a blank space and are never preceded by a blank space. The first sentence uses commas both correctly and incorrectly! Most critics that I’ve read consider such inconsistency as being far worse than being simply incorrect.
      
      “Uruguay,the country I just happened to be born in,pretty much by chance,because in the 1890's at the harbors in Italy people would board any ship that had space available to bring them to America,meaning North, Central, or South.”
      
      Ideally, the hub could be reconstructed with fifteen or more paragraphs totaling about 1000 words. Each paragraph could discuss a single topic in great detail or, perhaps, be a cluster of several closely related ideas covered in a single paragraph without too many details about each.
      
      My goal would be to add more pictures that display the ideas discussed in the text. Scenes of horseback riding along an ocean beach would be placed near relevant commentary.
      
      Rewriting the opening would be my last task. I would treat the very first sentence as the most important sentence in the entire hub. It must include a “hook” that compels the reader to want to learn more. Why should anyone, particularly a stranger, care about what you have to say about Uruguay? You have to make him care.
      
      The opening sentences must capture the attention and curiosity of the reader. They must also include keywords and phrases that correspond with those used by internet users searching for the information in the hub.
      
      I hope this contributes to your qualification efforts. Do let me know if you think I can be of further assistance.
      

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