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I'd like feedback on my Hub: MY MOM'S ONE-EYED

  1. ibnu Sofian profile image51
    ibnu Sofianposted 16 months ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub MY MOM'S ONE-EYED (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

    1. firstcookbooklady profile image82
      firstcookbookladyposted 16 months ago in reply to this

      YIKES!!!!  Wow. That was interesting. Wow. [shakes head from left to right] Do we get a participation award for attempting to read it? What is a one-eyed? Who is Thomas? Who is Tine. Is she a seamstress? Has she enough patience to sew for others? Isn't Thomas a lot of work to take of, since he is a high school student and lacking in social skills. His mom should take a chill pill and just let him work out his own troubles. Does he pay rent? Does he expect an allowance? Hmmmm.

      I don't know how you could possibly improve this page. Perhaps by crumpling up the piece of paper that you wrote it on, and starting over. Tell us about Thomas. What does he look like? Why does his mother have one eye? Does she wear a monocle? Patch?

  2. FatFreddysCat profile image91
    FatFreddysCatposted 16 months ago

    I hate to be "that guy" but since you asked...

    The written English is extremely awkward (at best) throughout this article. I couldn't make heads or tails out of what it was supposed to be about.

    The random advertisement for vitamin supplements - which are totally unrelated to the article - doesn't help matters.

    You will have a tough time passing the Quality Assessment Process with this piece.

    1. lisavollrath profile image94
      lisavollrathposted 16 months ago in reply to this

      Agreed. Poor English makes this impossible to read.

      One easy tip: never put your title in all caps. It's always going to look like you're screaming at people.