I'd like feedback on my Hub: Is it Worth to Buy OnePlus 3?

1. 47

   Ashish Dadgaaposted 7 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Is it Worth to Buy OnePlus 3? (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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   1. 78

      NatashaLposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Welcome to HubPages and the "Improving My Hub" community.
      
      First, let me say that your photographs are nicely incorporated into your Hub.  They break up huge chunks of text.  More importantly, they give you a connection to your readers because you're speaking from first-hand experience.  I also like that you've included a table summarizing the pros and cons of the OnePlus 3. 
      
      Now for the things that seem to be affecting your quality rating...  I'm approaching this as a former English teacher and as a new member whose Hubs have all passed QAP the first time.  So please don't feel that you need to take all this advice:
      
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
      
      Title:  As FatFreddysCat suggested, the title could probably be more succinct.  Would "Should You Buy the OnePlus 3?" work?
      
      Introductory paragraph
      *  I think this paragraph could be more succinct.  (In other words, take out words you don't need, and add useful information.)
      *  I don't understand what a "Flagship killer" is.  Can you clarify this?
      *  You don't really need to tell us that you're going to share your real user experience.  That's what this Hub is about, after all.
      *  The sentence 'The moment I took out this phone..." is wordy.  Try "I was impressed as soon as I took the phone from the box."
      *  Use an online grammar checker.
      *  What makes this phone well-built?  Why was switching from sandstone to aluminum a good decision?  These are never addressed in your Hub.
      *  What is luxurious about this phone?  "Show, don't tell." (In other words, don't just tell us the phone is luxurious.  Explain why you think so.)   Does it have a streamlined appearance?  Does it fit easily in your hand?
      
      Design: 
      *  The fist sentence is wordy.  Try "OnePlus has continued to improve on previous versions."
      *  The second sentence is also wordy.  Try "The first version had a plastic body with a sandstone finish."
      *  How is adding metal sides to the OnePlus 2 an improvement? 
      
      *  Aluminium and aluminum are not the same thing.  Is this a typo, or do you actually mean that the phone's frame is made of aluminium?
      
      *  "The OnePlus 3..." sentence is wordy.  Try "The OnePlus 3 offers further improvement.  This version features a metal and glass design."
      *  "It's available in..." could be split into two sentences.
      
      *  "A 5.5-inch phone..."  This sentence is wordy.  Try "A 5.5-inch phone may not be everyone's choice, but the size works for the OnePlus 3."  Then you'd explain why you think so.
      *  The last sentence could be split into two sentences. 
      
      Use this process with the rest of the Hub.  Ask yourself these questions:
      *  Can I use fewer words to say this?
      *  Have I expanded on general statements?
      *  Is each sentence grammatically correct?
      
      I think this can be a useful Hub, with enough time and care.  Good luck!

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      1. 47

         Ashish Dadgaaposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you very much Natasha
         Kindly check your email

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2. 94

   FatFreddysCatposted 7 years ago

   Without even reading the rest of the article, at first glance your title is grammatically incorrect. It should be "Is it worth it to buy the OnePlus3?"
   Or even simpler, "Is the OnePlus3 Worth It?"

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   1. 47

      Ashish Dadgaaposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      That's great catch Fat Freddy.
      Thank you for your suggestion

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