http://hubpages.com/style/The-Sandawana … ement-Ring
I'm not quite sure why this piece isn't quite cutting it. I've put quite a bit of work into it, and maybe it's too diverse, and the title doesn't fit the content, or something.
I need another couple of eyes to tell me what I'm missing.
Tessa, how 'bout changing the title? Try "Jewels Fit for a Queen." The African name probably hurts (that's not a condemnation of anyone on HP.). Shortening the title always helps. If you could make reference to Africa in the title. Jewels of Africa? Otherwise, the hub is great. Very informative, well written. Add some more history and change the category?
I was trying to find traffic specifically for emeralds. That said, "Jewels for Africa' sounds good.
It would be good for a print magazine. As a title for an online article, useless. Your title online needs to be much more specific.
The title is far, far too long.
When choosing a title, the secret is to ask yourself, "what would people be typing into Google to find this information?"
I tried a Google search. When I looked at the bottom of the page on a search, where Google lists frequently searched terms, a lot of them referred to Colombian emeralds (note the correct spelling of the country). Apparently Colombia is currently the best source of fine emeralds, so maybe you can capitalise on that. How about "Sandawana - Better than Colombian Emeralds?" I don't think it matters that people won't understand the first word. It could just as easily be a brand name.
I understand why you're including a table at the top - but the trouble with a table is that you have to condense the information into a few words, and it's not helpful to the reader. Remember that you can use either a table OR a bulleted list, both are just as good. I would take the information in the "Characteristics of Emeralds" paragraph and use that as the first paragraph, but rewrite it so it's partly a bulleted list with three bullets - e.g.
- Many emeralds sold in America are an inferior standard, though still beautiful. These are a good choice if on a tight budget.
- Colombia is generally regarded as the best source of high quality emeralds today.
- Sandawan emeralds from Zimbabwe are (as good as? better than? a leap in quality above?) Colombian emeralds. They are some of the rarest stones in the world, making them an excellent investment piece.
....then you can amplify on those three statements in the next paragraph.
Then I think you need to review the whole article and ask yourself who would be interested to read this article, and reorganise/rewrite the article accordingly. Right now it's a bit of a jumble of odd facts about emeralds.
You've had this hub up since April, so by now you may have some information of what people have been typing into Google when your hub came up in the search. That could help with making a better title. Click the "Search Phrases" tab in your stats on that hub.
Remember that you want to deliver on the promise of the title. Keep that in mind when you create a title. In addition, as Marisa said, your title is too long. Only about 60 characters show up in the SERPs. The rest is lost, so even if your hub shows up in a search, people may not see enough of the title to convince them to take a look.
Yup, and Marisa's title hits it perfectly. I'm going to go with that.
Hello, I was wondering, have you promoted your Hubs on other social media sights?
I've fixed it up. Basically rewritten a lot of it, removed some of it, added better photos, a video or two, and changed the focus of the piece.
Thanks for your input.
If you think it needs more improvement, let me know.
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