I'd like feedback on my Hub: The Ideal Human Diet

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   Chuck Bluesteinposted 7 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub The Ideal Human Diet. What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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   1. 96

      theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Hi there,
      
      I'm afraid I read the first part of your introduction and didn't get any further.
      
      "This is a very simple diet. Note that lead can be something that leaders do and it can be a heavy metal."
      
      That is what is called a non-sequitur. You have placed two sentences side-by-side, and the second bears no relation to the first.
      
      Okay, I'm reading on.
      
      "There are two parts of this ideal human diet. This was written February 18, 2017. The first part of it is to eat food."
      
      Another non-sequitur. The date has no bearing on the article, apart from whether the information is current. Putting the date in the middle of those two sentences is jarring and of no interest.
      
      The whole article is a confused muddle. Is it a diet? Is it a science-based essay about organic and inorganic substances? Is it advice? A warning? It's as if you started writing and followed your thoughts wherever they took you, instead of sticking to a well-defined outline.
      
      That large piece of copied/quoted text may cause your article to be flagged as containing duplicate content.
      
      You are advising people not to consume salt. Are you crazy? A person will die if they don't have enough salt in their body. You've heard of hyponatraemia, right? It's when people have extremely low levels of sodium in their bloodstream. Often caused by drinking too much water. They can fall into a coma and die. You cannot give out this kind of advice. If someone becomes ill following what you write, then they could sue you.
      
      If you have no relevant qualifications, then you must be careful about advice you offer.

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      1. 61

         Chuck Bluesteinposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks! I see what you mean about the date. I guess I should put quotes around the words diet and lead. I am showing that the word diet has 2 different meanings like the word lead. Food has plenty of sodium in it. There is no need to get it from non-foods like salt, dirt or manure. It is a difficult subject to talk about. That is why it is completely ignored.

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         1. 96

            theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            No, you should omit the sentence about lead. Most people are aware of the two meanings of 'diet'. It depends on the context - if you make sure the context is correct, there will be no misunderstandings.
            
            You referred to Beyonce not ingesting any salt - you need to make sure you emphasize the part about us getting salt naturally from food without having to add it. You also need to state that sodium is essential for life.
            
            Try running your text through an online grammar checker - first Grammarly, then Hemingway. They'll encourage you to tighten up your writing.

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2. 61

   Chuck Bluesteinposted 7 years ago

   Okay. Thanks! I tweeted your stalking article to 85,000 followers.

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   1. 96

      theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Wow! Thanks

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