jump to last post 1-2 of 2 discussions (5 posts)

I'd like feedback on my Hub: I Can't Drink

  1. Cherie Kurland profile image84
    Cherie Kurlandposted 9 months ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub I Can't Drink (must be signed in to view).

    What can I do to improve? I've edited out all brand references and the only references left are either government related or a 501(c)(3) charity.  Truly not sure what more to do. Thanks!


    1. theraggededge profile image99
      theraggededgeposted 9 months agoin reply to this

      Hi Cherie,

      It's a bit muddled and lacking focus. Have a think about who would be likely to need this information and then write it for them. To be honest, I didn't learn anything from it. Perhaps you should take one aspect of not being able to drink and write about it - it's all a bit of a mish-mash as it stands.

      The links aren't necessary, so take them out. If you were writing an in-depth article about the reasons why medication and alcohol don't mix, then yes, links to studies would help.

      The image of dollars isn't really relevant.

      Can't think of anything else, but hope that helps.

    2. Jason mackenzie profile image46
      Jason mackenzieposted 9 months agoin reply to this

      Hi, a few points that I feel you can improve on -

      1 - bridging the huge gap between paragraphs in the intro

      2 - in this sentence - 'Instead, I’m one of many who must take prescription medications know to be toxic to the liver.' - you should replace 'know' with 'known'

      3 - 'I can’t justify actions that challenge that research.' - Using 'that' twice is sounding a little awkward. How about re-framing the sentence?

      Hope I have been helpful, thanks, regards...

      1. Cherie Kurland profile image84
        Cherie Kurlandposted 9 months agoin reply to this

        Thank you! I didn't run this piece through Grammarly and I need to do that henceforth. The gaps might be from copy-paste from Pages software to HubPages; I'll see what I can do about that, too.

  2. Cherie Kurland profile image84
    Cherie Kurlandposted 9 months ago

    thanks - let me work on the specifics of what you say and ponder a full rewrite - job 1 is to define the audience.