I'd like feedback on my Hub: Deliverance From Water Spirit

Jump to Last Post 1-3 of 3 discussions (7 posts)
  1. deliveryourself profile image60
    deliveryourselfposted 15 months ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Deliverance From Water Spirit (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

  2. pen promulgates profile image58
    pen promulgatesposted 15 months ago

    Hi, it's an interesting article, but has many errors.

    I believe sentence construction is the issue. There are some punctuation errors too.

    The starting is vague. Change it please. It says, 'Wow! That was a debate.' the line is confusing as to what was the debate. It sounds like 'wow' was the debate. You can remove the words 'such a way' as it's not needed.

    In the second paragraph, it says:
    'Water is life. Historically, In Genesis chapter 6:5ff, when the first generations of human being became wicked and barbaric God decided their fate which was destruction by flood'
    Remove 'when' there should be a comma after barbaric, add 'so' before 'God decided.'
    Or you can change the sentence to a more a understandable one.

    In the 4th paragraph, is it 'shew men' or showed men?

    In the next paragraph 'The mysteries therefore is this. Flood is a divine prison..' sounds like an incomplete sentence.
    In the sentence, 'Although, sons and daughters of men who sins with them perished with them.' I believe the verb 'to sin' must be in the past form (sinned)

    'These immortal spirits are in the seas and oceans dominate and flooding in their restriction.' - incorrect sentence.
    These immortal spirits are in the seas and oceans dominate and flood them in their restriction. Sounds better. In fact substitute the verb ' flood' with a more suitable one. (you can use verbs trap or stop perhaps)

    In other paragraphs too there are errors.
    For example: 'If you have been a victim of marine spirit, spirit husband, spirit wives and strange children I recommend that you will read the book.' you start with an if clause in the present tense, continue with present tense only. so 'I recommend you read the book' is better as it needs to be in the subjunctive mood.
    Sentence construction needs changing. Try apps like Grammarly or hemingway.
    Hope these helps. Good luck.

    1. deliveryourself profile image60
      deliveryourselfposted 15 months agoin reply to this

      I am very greatful.
      You did a wonderful analysis.
      I must admit there are indeed lots of blunder. I will edit it at once. Thank you

  3. chasmac profile image96
    chasmacposted 15 months ago

    Self promotion is not allowed on HubPages. You need to remove the Amazon link to your own book and any mention of it in the text. If your main purpose is to inform, then remove the self promotion and follow pen promulgates good advice. If the main purpose of your Hub is to sell your book, then you need to find somewhere else to do it.

    1. deliveryourself profile image60
      deliveryourselfposted 15 months agoin reply to this

      Okay. Thank you. I want to recommend it for further reading as it has more revelation on the topic.
      Can I google for related book and use it instead?

      1. chasmac profile image96
        chasmacposted 15 months agoin reply to this

        Yes, but the rule nowadays on HubPages is that you should only include an Amazon link to a product that is relevant and that you have personal experience of.

        1. deliveryourself profile image60
          deliveryourselfposted 15 months agoin reply to this

          Okay thank you

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)