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I need some constructive criticism on an article that I wrote.

  1. Ivan Hernandez profile image91
    Ivan Hernandezposted 5 months ago

    I need help with this article.
    https://hubpages.com/health/How-I-Coped-with-My-Autism
    How do I make it better?

    1. Jeremy Gill profile image95
      Jeremy Gillposted 5 months agoin reply to this

      Here are my ideas:

      1) Reword awkwardly-phrased sentences, like "...a hero of mine due to her having a similar condition that I have" and "I behaved bad."
      2) At one point you both bolded and used all caps for two words (before and after). I'd only use one form of emphasis.
      3) The first video link is unavailable.
      4) Avoid labeling capsules as "conclusion."
      5) Consider removing the capsule comparing you to Kylyssa. This is definitely your story, and I don't think it's needed.

      Best of luck.

      1. Ivan Hernandez profile image91
        Ivan Hernandezposted 5 months agoin reply to this

        It is available.

        1. Sherry Hewins profile image98
          Sherry Hewinsposted 5 months agoin reply to this

          If you were referring to the video, I am getting the "not available" message.

      2. Ivan Hernandez profile image91
        Ivan Hernandezposted 5 months agoin reply to this

        I put is as private because I didn't want others seeing it.

        1. Jeremy Gill profile image95
          Jeremy Gillposted 5 months agoin reply to this

          For all intents and purposes, that means it's unavailable for anyone else to watch, making its inclusion questionable. I hope my tips helped.

          1. Ivan Hernandez profile image91
            Ivan Hernandezposted 5 months agoin reply to this

            Is it available now?

            1. Jeremy Gill profile image95
              Jeremy Gillposted 5 months agoin reply to this

              Yes, it is. I don't want to pressure you to include it if it's something you wish to keep to yourself, but in that case, I'd remove the capsule entirely. Or, if you're comfortable sharing, feel free to leave it up.

 
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