I'd like feedback on my Hub: Trump, an answer to;Doing things differently,to ach

1. 69

   abwilliamsposted 7 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Trump, an answer to;Doing things differently,to achieve different results. Is LIFE not Worthy of the Same? Oregon, Heed!. What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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   1. 88

      theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Hi there,
      
      My opinion only
      
      The title - that's an article all by itself and it doesn't make any sense. Can you shorten it to something that tells the reader what to expect?
      
      Capitalization - too much of it. It should be used correctly.
      
      Paragraphs. Always helpful to group sentences relating to a single point or idea into paragraphs.
      
      Break the huge text capsule into several capsules with sub-headings. This will make the article flow better.
      
      It reads more like an opinion piece, and possibly more suited to a personal blog than a Hub. Having said that, if you tidy it up and sort out the issues, you may well get it approved.
      
      Good luck!

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      1. 69

         abwilliamsposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         Yes, I've tried multiple Titles, but no luck.
         Maybe I do need to concentrate more on the flow, without losing the message.
         Thanks for taking the time to respond.

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         1. 88

            theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            Couldn't you call it "The Controversy Surrounding <name of bill> in Oregon" ?

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   2. 59

      yogaburnclubposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Hi there
      Please consider revising your title since its the first place that one sees before reading the entire article.Make sure it's easy to read and relates well with what you expect from the article.From my experience, most people read the title and if its appealing they continue to read the article.Get to know that people reading content are just scanning and do not want things that will bother them or make it hard to comprehend.
      Consider also have a nice design to your article by making use of the multiple capsules.This will make your work appealing and attractive.
      
      hope this helps all the best.

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   3. 92

      Mamertoposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I agree with the rest; try shortening the title to make it reader/search friendly. And I heard that featured hubs often have a 700+ word count.

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2. 69

   abwilliamsposted 7 years ago

   We'll see!
   Thanks again.

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3. 69

   abwilliamsposted 7 years ago

   I took the advice of theraggededge and worked on the Title, among other things.
   It has been in limbo ever since. ??
   Thanks for taking the time to respond.

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      Marketing Meritposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Still not sure about the title...sorry! It doesn't make sense to me.
      I read your article and was shocked at the proposals. You clearly feel passionately about this. We have a 24 week limit here in the U.K. and I think that's far too long. It's important for people to be aware of these proposals and I agree with Bev that perhaps placing 'controversial' in the title might serve you better. You can then add the detail in the summary.
      Good luck!

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         abwilliamsposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you MM, I've changed the Title.
         I do not know the status at this time, apparently a decision on this one is yet to be determined.
         My thought process initially, with the Tiitle, was to focus on the need to change things, (whatever the case) if different results are to be expected.  Do not continue doing the same things and then expecting different results. I used Trump as an example of this, because he isn't a Career Politician, he's an Outsider. (Something different = different result)
         Represented in this Article, a State, Oregon and its Lawmakers placing no Limits on abortion, which to me implies a complete disregard for life. In the meantime...lives of Police Officers have been devalued, the lives of our President and his family members have been devalued, lives of Congressmen have been devalued and so on.
         My objective was to try to take all of that and tie it all together, within a simple Title.
         Obviously, I've failed at my attempt. If it must be explained, it failed.

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         1. 84

            Marisa Wrightposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            I'm wondering, why do you put capital letters on ordinary words?   I see you doing it here on your forum post, and you do it in your Hub as well.  It's wrong, wrong, wrong! 
            
            Capital letters are used at the beginning of each sentence, and for the names of people, places or organizations.  Not for ordinary nouns.  Here is an article, I advise you to study it:
            
            https://www.skillsyouneed.com/write/cap … tters.html
            
            No matter what other changes you make, I doubt your Hub will be accepted until you've fixed that very basic mistake. Ninety per cent of the capital letters in your Hub need to be removed.

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            1. 69

               abwilliamsposted 7 years agoin reply to this

               For empahasis when I do not wish to go bold or all caps.
               This is nothing new with my writing style.
               All of my Hubs are featured.

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               1. 84

                  Marisa Wrightposted 7 years agoin reply to this

                  It's a very bad habit.  If you need emphasis, the correct choice is italics.  When I see an article written with lots of capitals like that, I assume the writer is badly educated and therefore I'm immediately suspicious of their opinion.   Since you do know how to write properly, it's a shame to risk turning away some of your audience like that. 
                  
                  If you use all caps or bold online, you're shouting, so you should use those only for headings and sub-headings.   If you have a particular sentence or short paragraph that you want to stand out, use a callout capsule.

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            Marisa Wrightposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            On the subject of the title:  I think you're misunderstanding how HubPages works.   People don't come to HubPages to browse around - this is not a news site.   So having a title that might "catch someone's eye" doesn't work - the only people who'll notice it are your existing followers and the odd person who sees you on the forums.
            
            The only way to get a decent readership here, is from people who are searching for that subject on Google.  Google won't include your Hub unless the title clearly (and unemotionally) explains what your Hub is about, and the article is in-depth and informative on the subject.   If you're mainly expressing opinions, either in your title or in the Hub, your Hub won't  be ranked high enough on Google for anyone to find it - even if it gets Featured.   Concentrate on facts first, then give your opinions.

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4. 69

   abwilliamsposted 7 years ago

   Got it, you have a problem with my style and now you are making this personal.
   I am not the first to capitalize certain words for impact and I'll not be the last to do so.

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      Sherry Hewinsposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      You asked for feedback. If you don't want to hear it, maybe you shouldn't ask.

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      Marisa Wrightposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I have nothing against you personally.   You clearly have the intelligence and ability to write properly if you wish to. Therefore it seems foolish to deliberately make yourself appear semi-literate by capitalizing in all the wrong places.

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   pen promulgatesposted 7 years ago

   @ Marisa: You give real good advice. They are helpful indeed.
   @ Other Hubbers: Excellent suggestions. It certainly benefits me as a reader.

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6. 69

   abwilliamsposted 7 years ago

   Sherry, I may not measure up, where some here are concerned, but I do know the difference between constructive criticism and destructive criticism.
   In over 5 years with HP, I've asked for feedback three times. I've always let all who have taken the time to respond, know that it's appreciated

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   1. 69

      abwilliamsposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I would not normally ask for feedback, I've been doing this for a while, I was only seeking some assistance with the fine tuning.

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