Approved for niche site, needs to be edited by HP

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   NessMovieReviewsposted 7 years ago

   Hi all,
   Ive recently been working on an article which I submitted for niche sites. Essentislly it was approved but needed changes. I went through their dot points and suggestions and reworked it. They have said its good but editors will edit it before moving it. They said I can edit it further but if not enough editing is done, I will lose my place in the queue.
   Im keen to see the reworked article but frustrated as it must be just some minor points now. They did say it wasnt 'organased' enough previously which I think is whats wrong with it. I know I refine it further but anyone care to weigh in ? https://hubpages.com/entertainment/Movi … fending-it

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      Lindsay Langstaffposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I'm fairly new here, but I think at least some of what they want is more breaks between the text.  The information is pretty good, but there are large walls of text.  If you space out your pictures more, I think you will be good to go.

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   Marisa Wrightposted 7 years ago

   My first reaction - I suggest you read my Hub on "How to Optimize Your Hubs".  You'll find it on the slider in my profile.  The section on introductions is especially relevant to you!
   
   It's important to keep in mind that although you'll get comments from other Hubbers, you are NOT writing for them.  The vast majority of your audience will be complete strangers, who've found your Hub on Google.  When they arrive at your Hub, you have a couple of sentences to grab their attention - if you fail, they'll click back to Google and find another review.  So cut the waffle!  If you want to tell readers why you chose that particular film, or anything else about yourself, save it for the end of the Hub.
   
   For the same reason, I would move the Movie Specifications to the end of the Hub, and jump straight into "What's It About".
   
   Your paragraphs are too long.  You don't have to break them up with pictures, just break them up into more paragraphs.  Obviously break where it makes sense, but a paragraph of more than ten lines is too long.
   
   I would use a Callout capsule for your "ratings" ("I give it 3 dead rats out of 5").

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      NessMovieReviewsposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Yep i hear you on the waffle!
      Great ideas. Thanks heaps. Ill read your hub and try some of those changes.

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