I'd like feedback on my article: HOW DIABETES AFFECTS SOME OF YOUR BODY ORGANS

1. 61

   irene manyinsaposted 14 months ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article HOW DIABETES AFFECTS SOME OF YOUR BODY ORGANS (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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   1. 98

      theraggededgeposted 14 months agoin reply to this

      Hi there,
      
      Put your title into title case, not all upper case.
      
      Your first image is pixelated and very poor quality. QAP will not accept any hubs now with poor quality images. It also looks as if you have lifted it from a website which you cannot do unless you have permission.
      
      The text needs proofreading. There is an error in the very first sentence: 'every'. Not only that, it seems to be copy and pasted from http://www.webmd.com/diabetes/guide/ris … diabetes#1
      
      The next sentence should be: "This organ damage is sustained..."
      
      Then it just stops. Why would you press Publish mid sentence? Then why would you submit it to the forum for review? It needs to be at least 1000 words. And you also need to demonstrate why you are qualified to write a medical article.
      
      If you want to write at HubPages, you need to learn how to write a decent article. If you don't know anything about diabetes, you shouldn't be writing about it.
      
      Sorry to be harsh, but we get a great many people who think they can simply start typing random nonsense, or copy and paste from other websites and pretend they are writers. Don't be one of those people.
      
      Read this: https://hubpageshelp.com/content/Learni … at-content
      
      Hope that helps.

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2. 66

   Breelyn Sirkposted 14 months ago

   It doesn't seem complete yet ? Also, some of the grammar is a bit off. Try using commas to break up sentences, it can help things come out sounding more natural. One thing that I always try to do is read my work out loud to myself. A comma is like taking half a breath, and a period is taking a full breath. It can be hard to pass the QAP sometimes, but don't give up. :-)

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3. 58

   pen promulgatesposted 14 months ago

   Your article is incomplete, are you sure you submitted the right draft?
   
   Look into the article please.
   
   The sentence 'You're more likely to develop coronary heart disease than someone without.' is incomplete.
   
   Good luck

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