I'd like feedback on my article: 12 Super Benefits of Grapefruit for Health

1. 68

   Olivia Philipsposted 6 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article 12 Super Benefits of Grapefruit for Health. What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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   1. 0

      RTalloniposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Many times a person asking for a review is not ready for a critical look at their post so they wind up taking the reply far too personally rather than looking at it as a learning experience. Whether they agree or disagree with the person trying to interact with their request they need to remember the following two facts. Everyone makes mistakes and constructive criticism is a great friend. That said, your responses here so far indicate that you really are interested in replies with the potential to help you in your writing so I'll jump in.  
      
      1) A quick first glance makes me think you might want to check the HP word count requirements.
      
      2) The opening should probably be at least a couple of short paragraphs (2-3 sentences per paragraph is usually best for online writing).  Each of the sentences you've written have the potential to make two individual paragraphs.
      
      3) Little things count. Though grapefruits is now acceptable, grapefruit is used more often as a plural without the added s. Compare this to your sentence: Grapefruit is an acquired taste.  End the sentence there and begin a new one focusing on its taste. Use the second sentence to begin the second paragraph, losing the word however and adding some teaser info on why it is a great choice for snacking. This is a good place to be a little creative. Just add a little something fun about the fruit to create interest.
      
      4) Your list looks really nice at first.  Using the dash after your bold intro on each one is problematic, but if you do use it you must be consistent. They are not all spaced the same and number 11 uses a period, which may work better for you overall. There are other options you might want to explore.  It would be good to review dash usage, which is easily done online.   
      
      5) Someone mentioned references. It is good idea to use them to back up the list's claims.  It would also be a safe thing to review your wording to see if you can reword items such as number 13 so they do not make unequivocal claims.  We've all done it, but it's best not to make clear cut claims
      
      6) Your closing paragraphs are problematic. The first sentence should be used to create a single paragraph.  The word of caution should be combined with the sentence that forms the second paragraph for a continuous thought. 
       
      7) Learning to proof our own work is usually a difficult thing.  Its always easier to proof someone else's.    I've made at least two mistakes in this post.  Putting two spaces between some sentences when the modern method is one space.  Also, I've used contractions. I usually fall into it somehow.
      
      8) Read other's posts for the purpose of learning about writing. Don't worry about whether you are interested in the topic.  This will give you a sense of what sounds right to a reader's ear, so to speak, then you will be able to better proof your own work. (A note about proofing your own work–read up on how to do and always do it.)  Amazingly, reading other's posts will also help you find your own voice to use in those wonderful little spots that beg for some creativity.
      
      It's been good for me to review these tips. One of the things I appreciate most about HP is the opportunity to refine my writing. It's been an interesting journey.  Even posts like these are a chance to practice good writing habits (which make the work of writing go much smoother).  Keep raising the bar for yourself and you may surprise yourself by going beyond your goals. Oh, last tip, remember to have fun.

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      1. 68

         Olivia Philipsposted 6 years agoin reply to this

         Trust Me your review is a great help for me to write more creative articles here. I am happy and appreciate your efforts to give detailed feedback on my article with your critical view.  I am learning on HP and your last lines of feedback are an awesome

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2. 96

   Rupert Taylorposted 6 years ago

   Hi Olivia
   
   I don't see any reason why this hasn't passed QAP except that there's nothing new or unique about the article. The Internet is awash in nutrition articles many specifically dealing with the benefits of grapefruit.

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   1. 68

      Olivia Philipsposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Rupert,
      Yes, it's true that Internet is full of these nutrition articles but maybe I can compete somewhere by helping users with my content. Thanks for your motivating words to do better.

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3. 94

   AliciaCposted 6 years ago

   Hi, Olivia. You've created an interesting list of grapefruit's health benefits, but I think a major problem is that you don't include any references. I know that you're a nutritionist, but I think references are still necessary. This is especially important for the health claims that you make, such as the one where you say that grapefruit is an effective home remedy for malaria.

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   1. 68

      Olivia Philipsposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for the suggestion, I will try to give the reference links also for such things. Your words are  very helpful

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4. 84

   Venkatachari Mposted 6 years ago

   I have just gone through some of your articles including this one. The other articles featured are fine because they are based on authentic information from reliable sources.
   
   But, this article is simply a listing of the benefits according to your personal feelings. It is not reliable. So, you need to to support your information with some reliable sources just like you have done while writing the other hub "12 benefits of Apple Cider Vinegar". Include some more capsules to make it appealing.

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5. 99

   DrMark1961posted 6 years ago

   Olivia, I can not add anything more than those excellent and useful comments made by R Talloni. I did want to take a minute to compliment you on posting photos that are from a good source and correctly attributed. I hope you get this straightened out and continue to publish more. You are going to be a great hubber.

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