So I was talking to my boyfirend/ really good guy friend that I have known since 8th Grade. He flat out told me that he doesnt want me to wait for him, or walk with him places, he told me that he doesnt want a relationship although we made out the other night, he doesnt want to "hurt" me etc. On a personal level I understood the complications with the summer that lies ahead and us being really busy but he seemed to be so adiment and I have never seen this side to him in my entire life Ive known him.
I honestly felt dumbfounded by this completely. I dont know what to say to him, I feel like tomorrow will be an extremely ackward or quiet day. We went to prom, he held my had, kissed me, we hung out in a hot tub after prom with buddies and he flirted and threw my in the pool etc. If there is any guy or person that can interpret this or tell me what this means or anything that would be great.
Wow, ladies, harsh advice just above there, .
You are in high school, yes? Or was it beginning college? That's a lot of change to go through for anybody. And I'm sure you've heard that (in general) guys don't mature as fast as girls do. There is some truth to that.
What it sounds like to me is that he is giving you a lot of mixed signals. Probably he is attracted to you, but is anticipating his future (and all the girls of his future) and doesn't want to be tied down. It's not unwise, actually. Although some high school relationships turn into long term relationships, those are far a few between.
And you, too. Girls I think (I've got 2 sisters, so I know about some of this stuff) get hooked early on that "they have to be in a relationship," and all the drama of male-female intrigues and they put themselves at a severe disadvantage... I'm sure you've heard there are other fish in the sea. Or how about "catch and release?" LOL. And then there is the rest of your life and all the interesting people you'll meet and things you will get to do.
I wouldn't waste my time feeling bad at all. This is one moment in time--I'd use it to have fun this summer.
He made it perfectly clear that he doesn't want a boy/girl relationship with you. Get over it and move on unless you *like* having your heart stepped on. You were reading more into Prom night than was really there. Sorry.
I agree with this response. If he went out of his way to make it that clear, he's not interested in a relationship. If he does switch gears on you and tries to hook up again anytime soon, it might be best to keep your distance and not give in. Sometimes people just like the fact that someone likes them and it feeds their ego (this goes for women as well). Also, romantic entanglements can ruin a friendship if you're not careful...
Sorry to say, but it seems a simple one to me - he's not interested in a relationship with you.
Sounds like the relationship already is a bit ambiguous. You describe him as your "boyfriend/really good guy friend. A boyfriend is not the same as a really good guy friend.
You say you've known him since 8th grade. I assume during those years your relationship was "just friends." But at Prom it edged into something a bit more. He sounds like he is reacting like a typical male. "Uh oh. What did I do? I don't think I meant to do that..."
The best advice I can offer is to respect his decision. You can't argue with him. The smart thing to do is create some distance with him. Either he will miss your company/friendship and start coming around, or he truly wants to move in a different direction. Either way, the only way for you to take back control (for yourself) is to back off and reclaim your life.
Sorry. I tried not to sound harsh. MM
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