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I need to improve my article.

  1. Ivan Hernandez profile image91
    Ivan Hernandezposted 12 days ago

    I need to improve my article, which can be found here

    https://hubpages.com/games-hobbies/The- … the-Future

    How do I improve my article?

    1. theraggededge profile image99
      theraggededgeposted 12 days agoin reply to this

      Remove 'in the future' from the title. No-one will be searching for that.

      "10 Reasons to Buy The Universim" will be perfect.

      Okay, I see you have a completely different title that doesn't include the title of the game. That's not too clever, is it?

      1. Ivan Hernandez profile image91
        Ivan Hernandezposted 12 days agoin reply to this

        I can't remove the title. It sticks!!

        1. Jeremy Gill profile image96
          Jeremy Gillposted 12 days agoin reply to this

          Just saw ragged's post, and her title change suggestion was almost identical to mine ("10 Reasons to Buy The Universim" and "10 Reasons You Should Buy The Universim").

          We both arrived at nearly the same title change on our own, and I'd strongly suggest it. Hope my other advice helps too!

  2. Jeremy Gill profile image96
    Jeremy Gillposted 12 days ago

    A few suggestions, and I'll freely admit some are nitpicky:

    1) Avoid the word "stuff" and replace it with more descriptive terms.
    2) Avoid using the same phrasing with consecutive sentences. For example, the "you could" here: "You could be of great help. You could report bugs and report problems within the game." Such sentences can be combined to feel more natural.
    3) Consider changing the title to "10 Reasons You Should Buy The Game-Changing Planetary God Game" or "10 Reasons You Should Buy The Universim."
    4) Correct typos like "haver."
    5) Stay consistent with capitalization of headings.
    6) Review your text in the heading "Final thoughts on the matter", which could use some changes. The heading itself could also be reworked into something more natural.

    My favorite aspects were the passion you used while discussing the article and the vibrant pictures. Kudos there.

    1. Ivan Hernandez profile image91
      Ivan Hernandezposted 12 days agoin reply to this

      What about now?

      1. Ivan Hernandez profile image91
        Ivan Hernandezposted 12 days agoin reply to this
        1. theraggededge profile image99
          theraggededgeposted 12 days agoin reply to this

          You haven't changed the title. You will **never** attract traffic with a title that doesn't mention the game by name.

          1. Ivan Hernandez profile image91
            Ivan Hernandezposted 12 days agoin reply to this

            I cant change the title.

            1. Ivan Hernandez profile image91
              Ivan Hernandezposted 12 days agoin reply to this

              I will change the title on the computer. I can't change the title on my PS3.

              1. theraggededge profile image99
                theraggededgeposted 12 days agoin reply to this

                Okay. Maybe you shouldn't worry about editing on the PS3 at all? Just wait till you get your computer access and get it done in one go.

                So you do understand that the the keyword for your hub is the title of the game? Therefore it must appear in the title of the article. It's how Google recognises the relevance of search results to a search term/question. It also helps to use the keyword in at least one sub-heading, and in your introductory paragraph.

                The more simple you make the title, the better, generally speaking.

                One thing you might try is, as you are writing/editing a hub, to have Marisa's article open at the same time, and use it as a sort of checklist.

                1. Ivan Hernandez profile image91
                  Ivan Hernandezposted 12 days agoin reply to this

                  OK. I'll have that in mind.

                2. Jeremy Gill profile image96
                  Jeremy Gillposted 11 days agoin reply to this

                  As someone who has experience typing from a console, I'd advise against it. Wait til you're at a computer; it's much faster!

                  1. Ivan Hernandez profile image91
                    Ivan Hernandezposted 11 days agoin reply to this

                    But it's so much work. I would have to create a brand new article...FROM SCRATCH!!

  3. newbizmau profile image90
    newbizmauposted 11 days ago

    I've been working on my title capitalization too and so far I've deduced that at the very least nouns and verbs need to be capitalized.

  4. melbel profile image98
    melbelposted 10 days ago

    I'm having a hard time picking out what your keyword is for this article. Not that it should be immediately apparent or anything, but if you're trying to rank for "the universim", that's going to be a nearly impossible task. I couldn't figure out what other keywords it might be.

    There are a couple of great hubs in the learning center on keyword research that will help you get traffic to your hubs from search engines.

    Edit: https://hubpageshelp.com/content/Learni … ndly-Title

  5. tritrain profile image82
    tritrainposted 10 days ago

    I like it.  It's well written and entertaining.  It might actually rank, since the game is still a ways off.  Maybe by next shopping season it will be a star!

 
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