I'd like feedback on my article: Why students with higher academic performances.

Jump to Last Post 1-6 of 6 discussions (14 posts)
  1. Jack Zhuo profile image59
    Jack Zhuoposted 13 months ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I have to admit that my English (AS MT SECOND LANGUAGE) writing skills have lots of problems. I did not pass QAP four times. I hope you guys can give me some instructions to help me improving my foreign language writing skills.

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article Why students with higher academic performances are more sexually attractive in middle/high school than in universities? (must be signed in to view).

    What can I do to improve?


    1. theraggededge profile image97
      theraggededgeposted 13 months agoin reply to this

      I don't think you will get this approved even if your language skills were good enough. You are writing about sex and children who are under the age of consent in many countries. You have it categorised under education/elementary and middle school. Not a good idea.

    2. TIMETRAVELER2 profile image96
      TIMETRAVELER2posted 13 months agoin reply to this

      If you know your English skills are poor, why are you trying to write articles on an English speaking site?  You need to go back to school, take some ESOL classes and then move to an English speaking country for a year or two so that you can immerse yourself in the language.  THEN you can come back to write articles here!

    3. poppyr profile image95
      poppyrposted 13 months agoin reply to this

      You should start by changing the title to "sexually ACTIVE," not sexually "ATTRACTIVE." Similar words with very different meanings. Right now it looks like you think children are sexy, which I'm sure isn't your intention.

      The other problems have already been said by others so I'm not going to repeat them. Fix the title, and make it shorter as well. It's the first thing readers see, after all.

  2. Marisa Wright profile image96
    Marisa Wrightposted 13 months ago

    You're aware that your English isn't up to standard.  Unfortunately there are errors in almost every sentence.  It's not reasonable to expect us to fix all that for you free of charge.

    You would need to hire someone to rewrite it for you.  I don't believe it would be worth the price, though.  As Raggededge says, HubPages will never approve an article which is talking about sex between under-age individuals, even if it is academic research.

  3. FatFreddysCat profile image98
    FatFreddysCatposted 13 months ago

    I couldn't even get past that awkward-as-hell (and somewhat disturbing) title. Sorry.

    1. DrMark1961 profile image98
      DrMark1961posted 13 months agoin reply to this

      The "authors" are a bunch of high school students, probably nerds trying to convince others that smart guys do best in high school. Yeah, right.

      1. FatFreddysCat profile image98
        FatFreddysCatposted 13 months agoin reply to this


  4. TessSchlesinger profile image94
    TessSchlesingerposted 13 months ago

    If your writing isn't up to publication standard, then you shouldn't be writing. I'm not quite sure why you want to write.

  5. Jack Zhuo profile image59
    Jack Zhuoposted 13 months ago

    Thank you for replying me!

    Yes, I really need to move to some English-Speaking countries to improve my language.   

    Clearly I am not qualified to write articles, not to mention publishing them on Hub. I have practiced my English for three years, hoping that I can have a opportunity to really write an English article about topic I am interesting in.

    But what I did not realize is that I extremely overestimated my writing skills or research methods.

    The truth is, at first, we were just writing those “childish” research reports. But one day, I thought, maybe we could publish it on Internet to get some comments or feedbacks about what I am doing. I knew my articles are not good enough for this, but I wanted to give it a shot, to take challenges.

    As JFK says, we choose to go to the moon not because it is easy but because it is hard.

    Some ask me why I choose to write it and publish it.

    Here is the reason---this will serve to measure the best of my skills.

    Unfortunately, I am not good enough. But it will not discourage me, because this is the way that helps me understanding what my shortcomings are.

    Again, thank you for straightly pointing out my shortcomings, which is all I need.

    1. Marisa Wright profile image96
      Marisa Wrightposted 13 months agoin reply to this

      Three years is no time at all to be learning a language.  I studied French for 12 years and worked in France for a time, but I would not dare write articles in French.   Writing for publication is a completely different thing.

    2. theraggededge profile image97
      theraggededgeposted 13 months agoin reply to this

      My problem wasn't with your writing skills - the article could be edited - it was the subject matter you chose to write about that was disturbing. You haven't told us why you thought it was an appropriate topic.

      1. DrMark1961 profile image98
        DrMark1961posted 13 months agoin reply to this

        Have you read his profile page? He is a high school student. He probably thought is was appropriate.

  6. Austin Hackney profile image91
    Austin Hackneyposted 13 months ago

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)