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I'd like feedback on my article: What happens when children and young adults...

  1. Yuval Barak profile image85
    Yuval Barakposted 2 weeks ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article What happens when children and young adults spend a lot of time on online computer games? (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

    1. Chris Tyler profile image85
      Chris Tylerposted 2 weeks agoin reply to this

      There are a lot of punctuation errors (words hyphenated that shouldn't be, commas instead of colons, missing commas, etc.), and you have a tendency to start sentences in the middle of a thought, but overall it's pretty good.

      1. Yuval Barak profile image85
        Yuval Barakposted 2 weeks agoin reply to this

        Thank you! I appreciate your help. I will check what you suggest again.

  2. Austin Hackney profile image89
    Austin Hackneyposted 2 weeks ago
    1. Yuval Barak profile image85
      Yuval Barakposted 2 weeks agoin reply to this

      Thank you for your help!

 
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