I'd like feedback on my article: A Trip To Dreamland

  1. Sanchaita profile image70
    Sanchaitaposted 2 months ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article A Trip To Dreamland. What can I do to improve? Thanks!

    1. theraggededge profile image99
      theraggededgeposted 2 months agoin reply to this

      Hi Sanchaita,

      Try running your text through Grammarly, and then Hemingway. They are both free to use online. The first will help your with your grammar, the second will help you to tighten up your writing.

    2. Natalie Frank profile image95
      Natalie Frankposted 8 weeks agoin reply to this

      You can tell you have put a lot of effort into this and your attempts at making unusual comparisons through the use of interesting language choices should be commended.  I always love when people write in usual ways and come up with ways of saying things that I haven't seen before.  I have a few points of feedback/suggestions that might help you pass the review process.

      In a lot of places you leave out words plus there are a number of grammar mistakes. 

      The prose also reads a bit choppy.  See if you can smooth it out some by adding a bit more content.  For example, the beginning is confusing.  Perhaps some additional explanation as to what we are reading about would help.

      Your word choice appears to be off at times - which could be a difference in language, thinking you are saying something else or thinking it sounds poetic or lyrical.  For example, "The night sky was decking up."

      One of the best ways to correct a lot of this in addition to what theraggededge, which are great strategies, is to have someone you know whose first language is English and who writes well, to read through your article and suggest where things are off and point out mistakes. Hope this helps helps.  Goodluck in your future writing endeavors.