I'd like feedback on my article: How to Plan a Trip to Japan Efficiently

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  1. N J Miyakoshi profile image74
    N J Miyakoshiposted 21 months ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
    Here is my article: How to Plan a Trip to Japan Efficiently (must be signed in to view)

  2. profile image0
    Muna786posted 21 months ago

    I read the first paragraph of your article, it is very interesting. I am a new writer, so I do not have much experience.

    Firstly, the length of your article is about 800, that should be 1050.
    Lastly, you should check your grammatical mistakes by using grammerly.

    1. N J Miyakoshi profile image74
      N J Miyakoshiposted 21 months agoin reply to this

      I already checked for mistakes. I don't have any. And the word count when I wrote the article was 1250, including captions and headings. I think that's plenty, considering what I wanted to get across. Other than word count and grammar, was there anything else that stood out to you that could be improved?

  3. AliciaC profile image91
    AliciaCposted 21 months ago

    It is a bit puzzling. Only two things struck me when I read the article. I don’t think it’s a good idea to end a subtitle with a colon, so I would reword the title of the last capsule. The other thing is that the article seems to end a little abruptly.

    Perhaps you could add an article conclusion of some kind after your list. Another possibility is that you could rearrange capsules and reword them slightly if necessary. The “Thinking Back” section sounds more like a conclusion to me than the list at the end. Perhaps the list could come first because it matches the advice to travellers in the previous sections and your reflections of the meaning of the trips to Japan for you could come at the end.

    1. N J Miyakoshi profile image74
      N J Miyakoshiposted 21 months agoin reply to this

      Thank you. I will try that and see how it sounds.

  4. Kenna McHugh profile image92
    Kenna McHughposted 21 months ago

    Do you own the photos? Photo credit helps. Another thought, it's a competitive subject, so style is important. With that, I'd start with marrying  native Japanese made it possible to...

    The other information is interesting but it does tell the reader how to travel to Japan.

    1. N J Miyakoshi profile image74
      N J Miyakoshiposted 21 months agoin reply to this

      Hmmm. Maybe different photos? Ones related to my personal trip instead of stock photos? That would allow me to make it more like storytelling.

 
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