I would like opinions on how to improve this hub please

1. 70

   nasus loopsposted 8 months ago

   I have written this afticle recently after a long break from writing and although it has been published it has not been featured.  I would therefore appreciate your opinions on how I can improve it so that it can reach the correct standard.
   
   https://hubpages.com/health/How-depression-really-feels
   
   Many thanks for your help.

   replyreport
   1. 97

      theraggededgeposted 8 months agoin reply to this

      You have problems with apostrophes. Your title should be:
      
      Depression and Anxiety: Who Suffers From It and How Do We Treat It?
      
      In that format. Title case.
      
      Lose the first two sub-headings. Lose the bold text. Put your subtitles into title case. Delete the Amazon capsule unless you can show you have read the book and recommend it for a reason. It looks to me that the currently bold text should be your intro, thus should be at the beginning.
      
      Be very, very careful about recommending treatment for a condition you are not qualified to offer advice on. Think about it. If you are looking for info on such a topic, would you be reading your article, or would you be going to a authoritative site with advice offered by qualified mental health practitioners?
      
      Decide what the article is about... You begin by talking about children but then seem to go more general. For example, you mention work pressures -- kids don't go to work.
      
      Proofread the entire article for grammatical problems.
      
      Hope that helps.

      replyreport
2. 98

   Rupert Taylorposted 8 months ago

   There are numerous grammar errors. Your headline is grammatically incorrect "Depression and anxiety’s." There should not be an apostrophe s.
   
   In your subhead you use effect when it should be affect.
   
   "A doctor may also prescribe you with a sleeping tablet and lack of sleep can be a trigger for depression so it is important that you gain enough sleep."
   
   This is better "A doctor may also prescribe a sleeping tablet for you; lack of sleep can be a trigger for depression so it is important that you get enough sleep."
   
   I suggest using a free program such as Grammarly to correct these mistakes.
   
   You need to break up the large blocks of type with smaller capsules with subheads.
   
   Finally, this is a very over-subscribed topic on the Internet. How are you going to compete for views with tens of thousands of similar articles from highly credible sources?

   replyreport
3. 85

   bwhite062007posted 8 months ago

   I agree with the posters above and also there are some run-on sentences as well. Go back through and proofread carefully and make any edits needed. Just my personal opinion and one I follow on my articles is to always fully capitalize any title. It just looks better. Otherwise, a very informative article!

   replyreport